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Gattaca 1997
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Fellas, is it gay to give your roommate (who you let assume your identity) a lock of your hair, before he blasts off into space and then k*** yourself? Asking for a friend!
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The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2005
Probably for the best I somehow managed to avoid this when I was younger as Carmen’s plot with her dad would’ve had me crash out 15 years ahead of schedule. Movie should’ve ended with all of them supporting her making the phone call, FUCK going to the wedding. Boo! Hiss!
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The Book of Clarence 2023
Didn’t think I’d be seeing something as bad as wonka so soon, but here we are. Not nearly as funny, insightful or innovative as it clearly thinks it is. The only redeeming part is that a lot of black people got paid to make it. But amidst a clunky script, distracting editing, and a completely unearned ending, this movie’s biggest crime was being unbelievably boring. If I was, gun to my head, forced to rewatch this or wonka, I’d pick Timmy Tim’s tone deaf serenade of “noodle noodle apple strudel” in a heartbeat.
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