astardanced

astardanced

Favorite films

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  • Night of the Comet

  • Opus

  • Jackie

  • Mickey 17

Recent reviews

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  • Gattaca

    Gattaca

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  • The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

    The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

    Probably for the best I somehow managed to avoid this when I was younger as Carmen’s plot with her dad would’ve had me crash out 15 years ahead of schedule. Movie should’ve ended with all of them supporting her making the phone call, FUCK going to the wedding. Boo! Hiss!

Popular reviews

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  • The Book of Clarence

    The Book of Clarence

    ★½

    Didn’t think I’d be seeing something as bad as wonka so soon, but here we are. Not nearly as funny, insightful or innovative as it clearly thinks it is. The only redeeming part is that a lot of black people got paid to make it. But amidst a clunky script, distracting editing, and a completely unearned ending, this movie’s biggest crime was being unbelievably boring. If I was, gun to my head, forced to rewatch this or wonka, I’d pick Timmy Tim’s tone deaf serenade of “noodle noodle apple strudel” in a heartbeat.

  • Wonka

    Wonka

    ★½

    the reason people hate musicals, with the added bonus that almost no one in the cast can sing

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