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Never Been Kissed 1999
High school is trauma. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who isn't eternally-processing events that happened -- even into their 30s and 40s. Not even what's happened to them but their own decisions/regrets/missed opportunities.
Never Been Kissed is a fantasy story by and for stunted adults who are, despite their jobs and responsibilities, still immature teenagers at heart. It would be impossible to maintain the happy feel-good cozy vibes if we're confronted with the reality of it all. Much…
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Alien: Romulus 2024
"Get away from her...y-you bitch."
My toxic trait is not that I think I could beat a bear in a fight, but that I could fully throat a facehugger & live to tell the tale.
Aesthetically perfect, the design & direction we deserved in Prometheus, but the in-world connections are dodgy and tenuous, often even taxing as callbacks. Couldn't understand half a word from some of the British cast's accents. It's a fantastic chop job and remix of the universe, covering all the highlights, but that's all it is -- a remix.
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The Witches of Eastwick 1987
"Incest! Dildos! Anal Intercourse!"
Um, so apparently everyone is giving this middling reviews as if it isn't a late 80s powerhouse with an amazing cast and full of witchy New England atmosphere. I guess I have to break it down for everyone.
The witch trope, as an inherently female character, is bent in either two ways in our collective mythos: as a condemnation of women being shrewish hags terrorizing men OR as the embodiment of womanhood free of patriarchy. Eastwick…
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The Thing 1982
Turns out I've never reviewed this which is unfortunate. However, I'm not surprised as behemoths of horror cinema like this become harder and harder to review as they crystallize into something larger than the film canon they originated from.
The Thing is one of those horrors where any review grows to involve its impact in cinema. Its 5-stars incapsulate the movies its influenced, the nostalgia its bred, the pop culture language its created, and the personal connections/memories its formed...the ratings…
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