Professional Dada
Author: J.R.R. Tolkien, Robert E. Howard and the Birth of Modern Fantasy -- available from McFarland Books and Amazon.
5 year-old Review:
“Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl. I saw it with my family, Mom and Dad. Made of clay. Cool and humor. I don’t know what my favorite part is, but I liked the whole movie. Now I know what my favorite part is. It’s the Bad Penguin: Feathers McGraw. Feathers McGraw is the bad guy. Feathers McGraw basically turns the Norbots into Bad Norbots. Bye, I have to go to sleep now. I hope you liked the review.”
I think I saw this before, but am not sure. I never really understood Paddington (the books) so I’m passing this review off to my daughter (5):
“Paddington is a movie which I like. For my comments, I’m going to tell you something about Paddington. I think Paddington is interesting and he gets in London and it’s cool. My favorite part is the end. There’s a happy ending and they have to battle this person. I think marmalade is like a bitter orange juice drink. My dad says I have to go to bed now. Bye. I hope you liked our review.”
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
It appears that this is going to be 2013's most overrated film. Where to start? I'll limit myself to ten points.
1) Neither Sandra Bullock nor George Clooney are remotely plausible as astronauts.
2) Extreme close-ups of her plastic-surgery-altered/heavily-made-up-face and her skinny-gym-body are distracting (see #1).
3) The "artistic" shot of Bullock's character framed to suggest a fetus in the womb is almost laughably broad. We get it : the cable is supposed to be the umbilical cord, she's curled…
Privileged narcissist makes documentary about how a privileged narcissist stole her horrendous sub-student film. Some interesting moments such as when we learn that she married a man who resembled the pseudo-villain of the piece—and she does not comment on this—after commenting on every aggressively uninteresting bit of minutiae for like 90 minutes!
She did get me to watch the whole documentary. I got myself through the final few minutes of this by thinking about how I could write this negative…