Popular reviews

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  Review by Adam Loves Bad Movies ½ 10

  Jesus CHRIST HOW MANY MORE DISCS OF THESE HORRIBLE “TEEN” SEX COMEDIES ARE THERE MAKE IT STOP MILL CREEK MAKE IT STOP 

  Ahem. 

  
  This movie has Danny Devito in it. The Van should be the title of a horror movie. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are unique in that they’re one of the few sweet and savory sandwiches in existence. I miss that show on Nickelodeon called Nick Arcade. I used to wonder how they transported them into the gaming world until I learned of the existence of green screen. I love a crispy thin crust pizza equally as a well done Chicago deep dish pie. Both have an art to them. These are all thoughts that went through my mind while watching this fucking movie because I could barely pay attention to it. 

  Danny Devito is in this movie.

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  Review by Saint_Hooligan ★★★

  This film gives you the impression that if you grab at a girls tits enough, or if you try to kiss her whether she wants it or not, eventually she should give in or she's just not normal. But, that was the seventies. This movie taught me many life lessons: like it's ok to drink while driving, women love rapist vans with shag carpeting, if a girl cries rape on your sexual advances just keep trying till she says yes, and you can cheat on a girl as long as you beat a bully in a Van race and have a large penis. Yes, The Van demonstrates all these important life lessons; all while playing soft country music. Basically it…

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  Review by b_noire ★½

  A by the books generic stupid teen hangout sex comedy in which nothing really happens. As usual with these the protagonist is completely unlikeable and spends the whole film being a whiny pathetic little bitch, as well as a total creep. Literally the first thing he does after getting his van is to pick up a girl and sexually assault her. Which is of course played for laughs. Then he spends the rest of the film trying to get another girl to like him, and he also sexually assaults her. Oh and he also kidnaps and threatens to kill her. What a gentleman. But guess what, they do end up together by the end because of course the boy's always…

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  Review by Sammy ★½

  As far as I can tell, this is a movie about a kid who saves up all his money to buy a van, and then becomes a rapist, a peeping tom, and a kidnapper.

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  Review by Stefano Monteforte ★★

  Bobby (Stuart Getz) can't get anywhere with chicks. Maybe it's the Chachi haircut, maybe it's the iron-on van related t-shirts and high pants he wears, maybe it's the dead-end car wash job he's barely holding down. Things might be different if he spent all of his savings on a heavily accessorized custom Dodge whorehouse on wheels, apologies to Sammy Johns and his 1975 hit single "Chevy Van" which features prominently on the soundtrack. Probably should have said something to George Barris (Batman, The Car) before he started customizing Dodge vans for the movie. Bobby's pride and joy is a hideous yellow extended-length Tradesman van with multicolor arrow decals, an enormous bubble window, eight track player, CB radio, refrigerator, mag wheels,…

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  Review by Muddguts 2

  This isn’t a van Matt Foley would be living down by the river in. This is a pimped out shaggin wagon with the dorkiest kid behind the wheel. 

  “The Van” shares the same traits as it’s Starlite Drive-In dvd co-feature “The Pom Pom Girls”. Little in terms of plot or script, some brief nudity, soft radio music and just a bunch of kids in love, horny and up to hijinks. I could potentially get addicted to movies like these.

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  Review by Paul Corupe ★★★½

  Another fun Crown International teen comedy that features youthful rebelliousness, a smattering of nudity, fab music, and cool cars—all with a laid back California attitude. Though light on plot or any kind of character development, The Van is among the most satisfying B-movie relics of the era, with an unparalleled ambiance of fun and freedom.

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  Review by MovieVigilante ★★

  I have no idea how Danny Devito was convinced to do this movie or why the same two songs are played over and over or who ever thought these vans were cool.

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  Review by Chuck Dowling ★½ 1

  When your main character’s only discernible character trait is “rapey”, that’s a problem. Yes, I know it was the 70s. Star Wars wasn’t rapey.

  Cool van though.

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  Review by mrbalihai ★★★★ 5

  I graduated high-school in Southern California the same year "The Van" was released (yes, I'm officially older than dirt), and spent many a Saturday night cruising Whittier Blvd. in customized vans and muscle cars, trying to pick up chicks, so you can believe me when I tell you that this movie is an absolutely authentic slice-o-the-Zeitgeist. It's goofy, but also bittersweet, and a little bit dangerous...which captures the mood of 70's Kalifornia Kustom Kar Kulture perfectly: your wheels may wind up getting you a girl, but in might not be the girl you want, or in the way you expect. In the end, it's your friends who matter.

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  Review by proofrock ★★½ 2

  Starts goofy and weird, just sorta sits there after. The van is indeed very cool. Not in the same ballpark as VAN NUYS BLVD.

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  Review by nagoya ★★★½

  Pretty adorable comedy that is very much of its era...like the Whitesnake song says it's all about "Wine, Women and Song"...and the cars are great too...