Not bored, just quietly building suspense.
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Kill 2023
Based on the word of mouth I expected this to be a lot gnarlier than it was, but even after a bit of morbid shakeup accompanied by a greatly delayed title card didn’t really put this too far into seat squirming territory. It’s gory to be sure, but the cheesy melodrama that inflects the first half of this never goes away, and seeing the totally shredded protagonist take off his shirt for no other reason than to highlight his glistening…
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The Poseidon Adventure 1972
RIP Gene Hackman, I would have followed you up through the ship even if it meant having to butt-heads with an increasingly bug-eyed & sweaty Ernest Borgnine.
The opening act of this is long on schlock and little else, but once you get to the bread and butter of the thing it enters a satisfying rhythm of overcoming variously imperiled geography in the innards of the ship. The inverted set design is cool and the character dynamics help keep things afloat, but the pacing could have used a couple extra kicks in the butt to really sell the jeopardy.
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A Christmas Story Live! 2017
“Hey what if we turned A Christmas Story into an extended Old Navy commercial? Like really *really* extended.”
K.
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The Lighthouse 2019
31 Days of Horror #19
This was extremely my shit, which is why it bugs me a little that the narrative structure of the thing was a bit of a let down amidst all the absolutely amazing cinematography, sound design, and bits of sea-faring dialogue (including a monumental Melvillian monologue precipitated by an insult to one’s cooking skills). The rub is that the movie is about two men going mad together, but they both start out at like an 8…
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