Jonathan Allen

Jonathan Allen

Overanalyzing children’s movies since 1994

Favorite films

  • Forrest Gump
  • Life of Pi
  • Moneyball
  • Silence

Recent activity

All
  • The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    ★★½

  • Mickey 17

    ★★★

  • Twilight

    ★★★

  • Central Intelligence

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    The Twilight Saga: New Moon

    ★★½

    Yeah, not as good as the first. From what I remember, they keep getting worse. It’s a shame too because the first one is this goofy amalgamation of what you would expect from a preteen novel about vampire romance. You can definitely see big budget movie studios get their greedy paws (no pun intended for this werewolf movie in particular) on this thing. 

    Here’s what I have to say, but cut this by 30 minutes. It would have made this…

  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    ★★★

    I would love if I could reprint a version of myself that was super efficient and wasn’t burned out of doing schoolwork all the time.

    It’s really a testament to show how good Bong Joon Ho is as a director to be this entertaining with that lackluster of source material. Not gonna lie, the storyline was super disappointing here. I guess this is based on a book so maybe he was staying true to the book but he really shouldn’t…

Popular reviews

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  • Colin in Black and White

    Colin in Black and White

    ★★★

    Somebody needs to let Colin out of that cement room.

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once

    ★★★★½

    The hard part about rating this movie is that I feel like I am rating it based on the insane popularity that this movie has had on specifically my generation. I have qualms with why so many people seem to think this is the single greatest piece of media we have seen in years. I have concerns that in a hyper-individualized world, this is a movie that people want to root for because it feels like it has a grounded…