the coolest guy
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In the Mood for Love 2000
I saw this in a theater. I was 7 minutes late, had to go pee within 15 minutes, was sitting far to the right of the screen, people were walking in front of the screen and blocking the subtitles at the beginning, it was the new piss yellows-tinted restoration, and it was still absolutely beautiful. Hearing the background ambience and the incredible music in surround sound made the film so much more intimate and immersive, and seeing some of the…
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I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House 2016
A cursed book, a Bible of rot, a holy scripture in reverence of ghosts and the dead and the places they exist.
There’s much to be said about Osgood Perkins’ incredibly haunting and upsetting atmosphere he creates, but the deeply personal aspect of this is much more interesting to me.
a house with a death in it can never again be bought or sold by the living.
This is a film dripping with death, an exploration of grief so palpable…
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Brief Encounter 1945
Celia Johnson, man- absolutely phenomenal. I don't know why I haven't heard this performance talked about in any real major discussions surrounding the history and canon of cinema, but I feel cheated, robbed, and betrayed, and I think every self-respecting person should be absolutely furious that everyone wasn't talking about Celia Johnson in Brief Encounter all the time. Greta Gerwig said that you fall in love with Laura, just the same as Alec, over the course of the film, and…
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Ash 2025
A film that seems uniquely disinterested with long-form storytelling as a whole, despite being a movie. Very unevenly structured, and events just seem to... happen with slim regard for cause and consequence. Dialogue is nothing. BUT! There are some genuinely harrowing moments and visuals in this, and lots of fantastic production design (I would argue this contains one of the coolest movie space suits in recent memory)! There is just so much story, and it is so uninteresting. I bring…
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Martyrs 2008
When I was young, my dad would describe pieces of media he found reprehensible or overly upsetting as "horrible." The ending of Se7en was "horrible." The Mist was "horrible." The opening sequence of The Last of Us was "horrible." In a comical moment that he doesn't even remember doing now and agrees is silly, when I was in elementary school, he told me to never, EVER, listen to Tenacious D, as they were "horrible." Even now, he still uses the…
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Hatchet 2006
Edit: This review is from when I was 14. I am now 20 at the time of writing this, and don’t sound like such a shithead. Please disregard this review.
Maybe I'm too young to understand what a, "true horror film" is, but I think that this movie is AWFUL.Now, the thing I find weird is that everyone is praising this movie for being self-aware, but I found NO INDICATION of that throughout the ENTIRE FILM. This wasn't a…
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