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The Monkey 2025
I consider myself a pretty significant expert when it comes to Stephen King. I’ve seen most - if not all - of his adaptations, and this is one is right up there.
It’s no THE SHINING, or SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, or MISERY. There’s no prestige here. But goddamn, is it that good, pulpy insanity of early King writing.
I was extremely disappointed in Oz Perkins’s last movie, LONGLEGS, but he nailed this one. It’s like if you infused a FINAL DESTINATION…
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Heart Eyes 2025
“I didn’t know murder was a love language.”
Man, what a clever blend of a slasher and a rom-com. Just the right amount of tropes and subversion of those tropes makes for one fun time at the movies.
As far as recent, holiday-themed horror movies go, I do think I enjoyed Eli Roth’s THANKSGIVING just a bit more. But no complaints here, this was throughly entertaining.
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The Substance 2024
DEATH BECOMES HER by way of David Cronenberg with some pretty overt Kubrickian influences. It’s like this movie was made in a lab just for me. Only reason it’s not an outright 5-star banger is because it felt about 20 minutes too long.
I’ve witnessed some pretty disturbing things during my tenure as a devout horror fan throughout my life, but I will never, ever get the extreme closeups of Dennis Quaid going to town on a bowl of shrimp…
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Smile 2 2024
My knees weren’t weak (thank you, theater recliners), my arms weren’t heavy (ditto), and there was no vomit on my sweater (I didn’t eat spaghetti beforehand). But, boy, were my palms sweaty! They shoulda called this ANXIETY CLUSTERFUCK.
Seriously, that was just an old fashioned good ass time at the movies. I underestimated the first SMILE and was pleasantly surprised. I went into SMILE 2 wondering what the hell they could possibly do to add to the first, and -…
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