I'm usually a lantern, but many people think I'm a globe.
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Black Bag 2025
Of the Gen X masters who've recently taken on funny, but exciting, stories of crime, espionage. and duplicity, I'd rank Black Bag just ahead of The Killer, even if Fincher has more to say than Soderbergh does, just because the puzzle pieces fit together with absolutely zero friction. The effortlessness with which Soderbergh makes tight, smart, stylish thrillers would be enough to give anyone a complex, honestly. Everyone but me adores Hit Man but I'd rank it a distant third.
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Mickey 17 2025
Is this messy? Yes. Is it also a great time at the movies? Very much yes. Do I believe this will age very well, as its English-language predecessor Snowpiercer did? Abso-freaking-loutely.
Robert Pattinson continues his decade-long streak of absolutely crushing it. He is at turns hilarious, pitiful, sweet, scary, and even kinda inspiring.
Overall, despite the shagginess, this is a powerful story of how normalized horrible things can become over a very short period of time. Normal for Mickey and…
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Joker 2019
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Sigh.
I really had hoped if I waited until all the hoopla had died down, maybe I'd be able to see something good in this. But it's a hollow husk of imitation that has absolutely zilch to say, yet deploys politically charged images to convince itself if its own depth. Then it excuses any ickiness (and my god is this movie fucked up about race) by loudly proclaiming that it's got no actual opinions.
I can't believe people thought this…
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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker 2019
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
This was badly written, and I maybe could have lived with that, but it is atrociously plotted and whomever edited it deserves to be shot out of a cannon.
The cast tries their best with garbage material and it's a huge credit to them that despite thinking this was a very bad film, I still love these characters.
- The twin MacGuffins of the dagger and the wayfinder were so utterly pointless. Why did we waste so much time on…
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