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Pitch Black 2000
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Clumsy, dumb, weirdly Australian, Pitch Black has an unrefined charm to it once you get past the three Expendable Arab Boys (yooo it's the power rangers guy) and the menstruation plot point.
Riddick and John's are great assholes playing of eachother, even if Riddick has a weird amount of foreknowledge about this random planet they crashed on, it makes for fun tension as they both try to figure out how to ditch the others, kill eachother, and get off the…
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The Super Mario Bros. Movie 2023
Very good looking animation, Jack Black Bowsussy is great, and whenever the movie was referencing a game it felt at its best, they were bright, fun and made me go wheeeee
Outside of that though, the first 15 minutes were the only solidly paced part of the movie, it felt like every story and character beat was being sped by when characters started just talking to eachother, it definitely felt like a lot was cut: Peach felt flat as a…
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