A video fever dream as only Charles Band can provide. Is it good? Nah. But it's definitely wacky. If you saw VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS and wanted more but slightly nastier, have I got a movie for you.
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The Belly of an Architect 1987
There's a lot of things you can say about Peter Greenaway, but for me the most accurate is that he is just... a lot to take in. There's some fascinating stuff going on here, particularly in the framing and cinematography (Greenaway's films look like nobody else's, that's for sure), but in the end I felt like I do after Thanksgiving dinner, overstuffed, overfed, and utterly exhausted. My fault, I guess, for tackling this first thing in the morning. I did…
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Snow White 2025
Oh boy. My feelings about this are definitely mixed, but right off the bat I should say that I found more to like than to dislike.
Bad stuff first. For the most part I found the new songs bland and forgettable, nothing like the earworms of old that you'd be humming all the way home. Gal Gadot was maybe not a great choice, let's just leave it at that. Her big musical number could have been skipped. The decision to…
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Witchcraft 2: Tiger Woman 1989
Ooh boy. Some thoughts:
- Vinegar Syndrome really dropped the ball when they failed to either include the "wanted" poster for the tiger as a fold-out or use it as the box art.
- While the protracted Bokir musical number featuring him dressed as Tarzan was painfully stupid, the number at the beginning is now my preferred way of learning the news of the world. More of that please.
- "Breast, thighs, or elbows" is a banger of a line…Translated from by
