Christopher Parasite

Christopher Parasite

Favorite films

  • ...in furs
  • Rosemary's Baby
  • Naked
  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Recent activity

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  • Jackass Forever

    ★★★★

  • Bee Movie

    ★★

  • The Snowman

    ★★★★★

  • Antz

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Jackass Forever

    Jackass Forever

    ★★★★

    Thank you for being there for me when I was a disenchanted fourteen year old bmx wigger that listened to cannibal corpse and got called a faggot by the football players, Jackass.  I’ll always pay attention when you have new stories to tell. Or when you’re reiterating then old ones on a grand scale. Thank you for bringing along new friends that didn’t suck. And thank you for giving me a reason to explain plexiglass penis squishers to my wife. 

    Sincerely, 
    Christopher.

  • Bee Movie

    Bee Movie

    ★★

    So. As a fan of not watching Seinfeld, I don’t know what I expected out of a cartoon with one-trick-pony Jerry Seinfeld as an anthropomorphic bee that does Jerry Seinfeld standup the whole time. My kid begged me to change it and I told him absolutely not. There was a life lesson to be learned somewhere in this film and I wasn’t going to allow him to miss out on it. What kind of parent would I be?

    This wasn’t…

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  • Cutting Moments

    Cutting Moments

    ★★★★★

    Cutting Moments really is one of the most important extreme horror shorts. Everything about it is on point. The cast, cinematography, tone, fx, everything about it.  It’s just perfect. 

    I haven’t seen this film in probably fifteen years. I picked up on the weird father-son relationship but I didn’t really put together that that was the actual catalyst of the film. I was probably just focused more on the gore back then. That being said, if this film was poorly…

  • Thrust in Me

    Thrust in Me

    ★★★★

    Another extremely cool, extremely stylish black and white short from Kern, Thrust In Me stars Nick Zedd and Nick Zedd in drag. 


    Masculine Zedd spends his day trudging through the streets of New York while Feminine Zedd spends here contemplating and ultimately committing suicide. While Masculine Zedd is breaking up domestic disputes on the sidewalk, Feminine Zedd is drawing a bath and slitting her wrist. Eventually Masculine Zedd gets to his destination, which happens to be where Feminine Zedd lives…

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