Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  The Monkey 2025

  ★★★ Watched 24 Feb 2025

  I’m not really sure what to do with this one. I kept waiting for it to settle in and become a real movie, but that never really happens. It’s incredibly episodic, features virtually no character development, and ultimately doesn’t feel like it has any stakes. I’m inclined to use the old chestnut “it feels like an extended Tales From The Crypt episode,” but even Tales from the Crypt has retribution and poetic justice. This feels more like a string of…

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  Heart Eyes 2025

  ★★★★ Watched 17 Feb 2025

  Between this and Thanksgiving, original holiday slashers are back in a big way! I liked this better, though, because it doesn’t have Eli Roth’s weird tonal confusion and cringey bro humor (although Thanksgiving is probably his least egregious effort). Great kills, a cool slasher getup, lots of well-timed humor, charismatic, likable leads, and brisk pacing all make for a thoroughly enjoyable experience. I had a blast from front to back with this one.

Popular reviews

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  Halloween Ends 2022

  ★★★½ Watched 14 Oct 2022 1

  So… I’ve read enough reviews at this point to realize that this is apparently going to be a pretty hot take, but I 100% stand by it. Here we go…

  First off, I’ve been a huge fan of this franchise since I first saw the original as a 13-year old. These movies have lived in my head for nearly 30 years now. There were times when I was younger that I even held nonsense like parts 5 and 6 in…

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  Salem's Lot 2024

  ½ Watched 07 Oct 2024

  I mean, if you’re not going to give this the space and time and development it needs, why fucking bother? This may not technically be as bad as other movies I’ve given a half star to, but it earns this half star by being such an insulting product to put in front of viewers’ faces. It’s literally like ‘Salem’s Lot Cliffs Notes: The Movie. There’s no atmosphere, no buildup, it’s just a bunch of major plot points strung together with…