I think A Knight's Tale is the best movie I've ever seen.

Now, thematically, it's not an exceptional movie. It's good but not great, it's insightful but it's not particularly artistic or profound.

What it is is a story that knows exactly what it wants to be from the word go and accomplishes its goal flawlessly. It's the film version of watching of an old tradesman build a porch.

All of France wants me dead

So there I was minding my own business when some maniac comes up to me and rips my brain out of my head and puts it in a jar. Typical Monday 😒

I thought having a vampire for a boyfriend would be really cool. But it turns out he's just a big pain in the neck.

My werewolf boyfriend is really into howling at the moon and running around in the woods naked and I'm just like babe can you put some clothes on I'm trying to sleep

Concept: a pirate themed rapper named Rapp Scallion

They made a new coke that’s really just the old coke with a drop of human blood in it. It's not actually that bad, the commercials are kind of creepy though

Now I’m not much of a tea leaves reader. What does it mean when my tea leaves are shaped like a gun shooting a clearly identifiable picture of me?

The ringmaster never chooses me to be the "slimy eel" in the water tank :(

Playing around with ideas for future novels - how would all of you feel about rival wizards in a phantasmagorical traveling circus setting? With eventual kissing, of course.