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The cowboy sex position—yep, you read that right, cowboy—is closely adjacent to the classic cowgirl position. The only difference? “The cowboy position has the giver—the partner with the penis or dildo—on top instead,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney.
This flipped over-version of the tried-and-true favorite offers all kinds of fun new angles and benefits, both physical and psychological. “The cowboy is great if you like shallowing—where the penis or toy is just at the entrance of the vagina, rather than going deeper—and can give the receiver’s clitoral hood a lot of stimulation when angled just right. You’ll need a large dildo or a giver with a bit of ‘penis flexibility’ because of the angles involved,” says Knight.
The cowboy makes it extra-easy for the receiver to add extra clit stim, too. Both partners have their hands free, so one or both of you can press a favorite toy or lubey hand against the clit. Bonus perk: It also gives the penetrating partner a tighter feel because the receiver’s legs are pressed together.
For some folks, this position’s biggest appeal is the fantasy of it all. “Who doesn’t love the thought of a rugged cowboy taking the reins and guiding you to your destination? You might even explore some cowboy-themed porn or erotica to get you in the mood,” says Anna Richards, sex educator and founder of the ethical porn site Frolicme.com.
If you want to lean into it, take advantage of the western theme with some role-play. Ranch hand and visitor from the city? Saloon worker and mysterious drifter? Rider and wild horse? Up to you. “For extra fun, throw in some dirty talk. Straddle the line between sexy and silly. Tell your partner you’ll be taking them on a wild ride. Ask them to ‘giddy up’ when you want to go faster,” says Richards.
If role-play isn’t quite your jam, that’s okay too! “Just say ‘faster, slower, harder.’ Either way, have fun with it—and say something if one or both of your legs starts to fall asleep,” says Richards.
Ready to ride? Here’s how to do the original cowboy, plus a couple variations to spice it up.
The Cowboy
The receiver lies flat on their back with both of their legs together. The penetrating partner (aka, the giver) straddles them with their legs on either side of the receiver. If you’re on the bottom, their ass should be sitting on your legs. The person on top will need to bring their penis or dildo down to enter—the receiver can raise their hips to make this easier. “Have the giver adjust themselves forward or backward to find the angle that provides the most stimulation,” says Knight. A cock ring can add extra throbbing to the ride.
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Sitting Cowboy
If you’re the receiver and want more kissing involved, sit up and grab their butt, says Richards. “Lean against the wall with a pillow behind you for comfort. And if the person on top gets tired, switch places and be the rider for a bit,” she says. If you’re looking for a non-penetrative option, this works for mutual masturbation too. Grab a bottle of arousal gel for the occasion and you’re good to go.
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Cowboy Doggy Style
Flip cowboy over for deeper penetration or an anal version. “In this fun variation, the receiver lies on their stomach rather than their back, with their hips raised up slightly and knees propping them up if needed—a pillow is your best friend here,” says Knight. “Instead of resting on your hands, come down to your elbows and elongate your body. For even deeper penetration, the receiver can bend into a frog position with their partner crouching behind them.” If there are two vulvas, try a double-headed vibrating dildo that can handle the angles.
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Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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