IFS & Guides Michi Rose

The area of guides in psychotherapy is . . . new and different. It is an area of

EXPLORATION. Nothing written is in stone; the use of guides in IFS is an unfolding
adventure. I think of guides as spiritual energies. Guides are different and distinct from
what IFS identifies as a “part” of a person. Twenty years ago, I thought of myself as a
biologist/scientist, and valued empirical data (over validity based on experience). It is not
so long ago that I would have scoffed and guffawed (or rather my parts would have) at
the idea of guides. You do not need to accept any of this. Wherever you are is fine—
honor your own personal cosmology. Just be aware that for some clients, guides are very,
very helpful.

The thing that most shifted my own views about guides— was having one! I have now
had a series of five guides. My first guide did not talk, so communication was limited;
yet, there was a positive, calming, caring essence about my first guide that was helpful to
me.

GUIDES

There are many different types of guides. When asked, they do not identify themselves as
parts. They are of a spiritual nature (loving, kind energy). They come in many different
forms (figures, ethereal energies, animals, angels, light, etc.), which have different
energies and powers. I often think of some lights as guides. Guides report that all people
have guides. A person may have a series of different guides over time or several guides at
once. Sometimes parts will say that they are partially parts and partially guides. There are
many variations. The hallmark of guides is their spiritual nature; they are of service and
helpful to clients.

HOW TO ACCESS GUIDES

The initial access of a guide can be done many ways: path exercise, direct facilitation,
finding a positive valuable part (love, confidence, etc.) and having it lead to its source of
power, or simply asking for a guide in the flow of the session. Guides come when people
are in Self. Similar to radio reception, if there is a lot of static on the line than it is
difficult to hear. Unblending parts to establish Self-leadership energy is helpful for
connecting with a guide. Guides respond to invitations. Often asking or inviting a guide
to come facilitates the connection. When client’s presenting problem is a physical pain,
then often we ask for a healing guide or the highest healing energy to come. Before
accessing, be aware of your client’s worldview. If “guide” is not the proper term for
them, then use some other word like “intuition,” “messenger,” “positive energy” or
“highest positive energy possible.” It is very important to start wherever the client is…

The main problem is to distinguish a manager part that is posing as a guide, from real
guides. Parts that function as “spiritual managers” look and sound like guides. For me,
these spiritual parts have been the most difficult parts for my part’s detector to catch.
Guides have qualities similar to Self in that they are non-judgmental, accepting, and not
attached to an agenda. Manager parts, underneath their spiritual feelings, have judgments
and attachments to outcome, i.e., they are still managers interested in control (albeit
subtle.)

DIRECT FACILITATION FOR INITIALLY ACCESSING GUIDES:

Steps A.—C.: Is an example of one of many possible paths to access a guide…

Remember to inoculate (i.e., prepare the client for disappointment) against the case of not
accessing a guide (if not today, another day).

A. Bring in Self-energy Intensify it to the highest vibration possible. (Path exercise can
facilitate this.) Allow it to expand and fill the whole body. (However you do this.) “Let
me know when you feel ____ “(Self-leadership energy).

B. Ask for guide “Would you like to ask for ____ (the highest positive energy possible,
messenger, guide, etc.) to come? Is there a guide who would like to come? Allow
whatever happens to happen. Let me know when you sense its presence.”

C. Checking about accessing guide. If nothing comes, then check for parts that might be
blocking the process and unblend them. Often people have a part that is trying too hard or
a part that is afraid of not being able to connect with a guide, which need to be
unblended. “Are you saying anything to yourself?” (Probe to identify part’s presence.)
“Be open to any form” (figure, animal, tree, light, etc.). (One client said with
disappointment, “There’s nothing here, only light.”) If you are in doubt that the guide is
really a guide, then Ask the client to feel into and describe its energy. (Guides are
positive.) Ask if it has a warm and loving presence. (Guides do.) Ask if it is the highest
positive energy possible. Can it go higher? Show you its source?

WAYS TO USE GUIDES

There are many ways to involve guides in the process. Sometimes just the presence of a
guide has a positive and calming effect. The following are some examples of how to use
guides.

1. Ask the guides. “Would you like to ask your guide a question? What does the guide
say about ____? What do you and your guide say about that”

2. Use guidance in the process. “What needs to happen next? Would you like to check
with your guide?”

3. Gifts from the guides. “Does your guide have of gift for you?” (may or may not)

4. Messages from the guides. “Does the guide have a message for you?”
5. Blend with guide energy. “Would you like to ____ (touch, blend, move into it, feel its
energy)? Check that it’s OK with the guide. OK. Go ahead and do that.”

6. Use of guides for healing. Some guides are physical healers… In hands on energy
healing guides will sometimes move right into the therapist’s hands to co-participate in
the bodywork. “Would your guide be willing to come into your body and help you with
that pain? How would it be with you, your part and the guide, if the part that needs
healing leans into the guide?”

7. Use of guides as caregivers. “Would the guide be willing to stay with ____ (wounded
parts)? Would that be OK with ____ (wounded parts)?” (This can be a place for exiles to
stay between sessions.)

8. Use of guides in unblending. “Would that part be willing to separate from you and be
with your guide? Would that part be willing to wait on the side with your guide?”

9. Use of guides in unburdening. “Would the part like to give that _____ (burden) to the
guide/light? Would the part like to stand in the light (guide) as it releases its _____
(burden)?”

10. Use of guides with difficult parts. “Is this part aware of your guide? Would you like
to introduce them? How can your guide help you deal with ____ (difficult part or
situation)?”

11. Use of guides with critters. Guides can be especially helpful with negative energies
that clients identify as not being their own, not a part of them. Again, respect your
client’s cosmology. “Would you like to put that energy in light? How is Archangel
Michael to help?” (Client requested the presence of this guide.)

12. Use of touching guide. “Would it be OK with you, your guide, and this part—if the
part were to touch your guide? Or lean into it?” (This often helps to calm parts down or
spiritually ground them.)

13. Use of guide in resource transfer. (Acknowledgment to Judy Lauwasser for the
resource transfer technique) “Would it be OK with you, your guide and this part—if the
guide sent some of its energy into this part?”

14. Use of guide in opening the heart “Would you like to open your heart and send your
love to the guide? OK, go ahead and do that. As you open your heart and send love,
would you receive the love from your guide to you, into your heart? Be with that, the
giving and receiving of love with your guide, until that feels complete.”

15. Use of “being with” guides “Would ____ (you / this part) like to just be with this
guide? Take as long as you like… Just be with ____. Be with the guide and allow
whatever happens to happen…”
16. Use of guide as a source of unconditional love (This is especially helpful for parts
that have been trying to get unconditional love from people, who being human… cannot
give it. It is best if the Self gives this love, but in some cases that goal is expedited by the
presence of a guide.) “How do you, this part, and your guide feel about letting this part
experience this guide’s unconditional love?” (Guides in the form of “Mother Earth” or
the “Divine Feminine” or the “Spiritual Essence of Mother (the client’s)” often come into
play here because the young wounded part really wants its mother’s unconditional love.)

17. Use of guide in spiritual awakening of parts. “Does this ___ (wounded part) know
that it is divine?” (Again, respecting the client’s personal cosmology.) “Would you and
your guide like to let it know that?”

18. Developing an inner guidance council. Have several guides come together to form an
inner guidance council, which the client can call upon whenever necessary.

19. Overview on the Use of Guides. There are many, many other ways to involve guides
in the therapeutic process. Allow your own intuitions to guide you. Perhaps the best way
to do this is to connect with your own guides! Personal experience is the best teacher!

HOW TO RE-ACCESS GUIDES

20. Re-accessing the guide. To determine how the client can re-access the guide, ask the
guide. “Would you like to ask the guide, when you want to access him/her again, how are
you to do that?”

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

In summary, in working with guides—REMEMBER TO ASK. Ask to connect with

guides, ask them questions, ask how to reconnect with them, ask, ask, ask. The main
problem in working with guides is to have the client maintain Self-leadership with the
guides. The caution is to not give power away to a guide that erodes the leadership of the
Self.

My recommendation is that you connect with your own guide(s). . . that is the way to
learn about them. Otherwise, this whole thing is just conceptual. Cellular experience is
the best teacher.

Reprinted from Self to Self 2002