i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

“If I had a dick I would stack donuts on it” well donut holes exist and you have a pussy so………?Get to filling

gonna try this brb

yeast infection

Sorry

“what’s your writing process” i put a pathetic guy in a blender and blend blend blend

this might be one of the worst things anyones ever said to me

​tumblr has some competition in the hate mail game

check out my funny relatable trans memes that aren't applicable or relatable whatsoever if you actually experience structural transmisogyny and don't just go through the world viewing yourself and being viewed as a "silly little guy"

that relatable trans experience when strangers are confused about your gender and it doesnt activate your fight or flight at all even a little bit

"someone asked if i was a boy or a girl today and i said i'm an eldritch creature" & didn't get jumped? did you know for me that question is a threat?

"Are you a boy or girl?" -and I freeze and dont answer and beg that they cant tell and look around to check if the area is filled by enough lefty-looking people to be safe and mutter a response and walk away as fast as possible and-

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

OP please wait until I am asleep to murder me, thanks.

felt the sun on my face +100000000hp

thank you black mold. thats a wonderful idea black mold.

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

I'm a simple bitch. i believe the purpose of government should be to improve the lives of its citizens and protect its most vulnerable members. unfortunately i live in a day and age where this gets me labeled an enemy of the state

abnormally large trees please lend me some of your centuries worth of wisdom

you can do it, magikarp!

[art by me - neonscrapyard]

instagram || etsy

Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it's so fun you'll love it Come into my wine cellar

no.

Did you just DeWalt my fucking white

im only a man when im a grown ass man and im only a woman when god forbid women do anything

any time other than that? im a fucking Echidna

ENIGMA. FUCK

you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:

I fucking love the French ethic of everything

i feel like a lot of discourse around identities could just be boiled down to “you could not pay me to care about this”

therians? this doesn’t affect me in the slightest. weird transgenders? okay who cares. contradictory labels? none of my business. neopronouns? it takes 5 seconds of my time to google how to use a pronoun set this is like minimal brain work. bi lesbians? i don’t get how that works but the world will keep spinning. normalize minding your own business