that shit

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make women’s clothing

Technically they're using it for bandages. For now.

Quote from the article

Oh he's definitely eating it

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can surreptitiously eat it

Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.

The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?

These are the bathrooms at the airport in question:

As you can see, complete privacy for all waste-expulsion activities. You only encounter other people around the sink.

This just proves a point that I’ve repeatedly noticed and it’s that every time a bathroom goes gender neutral it gets about a hundred percent safer.

I distinctly remember coming back from college to find that they’d converted the two of the bathrooms into all-gender restrooms. Among the changes were doors that went all the way up and down, a locking mechanism within the door, and actual door handles. Even the single-occupancy bathroom got a wall for extra privacy.

In contrast, I remember the women’s bathrooms in my old school. They were broken as shit. Some doors needed to be held by a friend, some doors you held with your foot from inside. The wheelchair-accessible bathroom straight up did not have a door at all. And yet we all pretended this was okay because hey, the womanly honor code. You think that shit would have flown if there were two gender-neutral restrooms?

All I’m saying is that if I were fleeing a predator or wanted to be absolutely sure I was private, which one would be the better option? The one that assumes that a “no penises allowed” sign will be enough? Or the one that actually, physically protects me?

Also, nongender restrooms are better for parents. My brother and I grew up raised by my mom. While nothing ever happened to him going into the bathroom alone, not even like a poop accident that he would have needed help cleaning up with, my mom certainly got anxious sending a seven-year-old into the men’s room unaccompanied. A nongender restroom means that parents of small children can worry less about their kids.

Gender neutral bathrooms are The Shit. I love the privacy. Like as someone who gets menstruation related intestinal issues, the ability to just have an actual fucking door, and some goddam privacy is awesome. Gender neutral bathrooms benefit everyone. And back to the parents/caretakers of children thing, imagine if you’re a dude who’s out with a fairly young daughter or niece, what the hell do you do if there’s no family or gender neutral washroom? Use the womens’ and deal with the weird looks and/or comments, or chance it with the guys bathroom? Gender neutral bathrooms solve dozens of problems at once, including partially eliminating a need for family washrooms, as a gender neutral bathroom with change tables would take care of all that.

The night sky on Mars

I was wondering whether the constellations would look any different on Mars, so I looked it up, and apparently not; galactically speaking Mars is so close to us that the difference is imperceptible. However, I did find this neat additional bit:

Same sky, but no light pollution.

People really don't grasp how enormously huge the universe is.

People really don’t

grasp how enormously huge

the universe is.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

People talk about Elsa's "Let it Go" moment having killed the men of the Terror and the Erebus, but it goes farther than that. That same historically cold winter of 1846/1847 also caused so much snow that it led to an infamous American tragedy, as I learned when I read the nonfiction work The Indifferent Stars Above.

If Elsa killed the Terror and Erebus men, then she also doomed the Donner Party.

Hc that Ford gets a job at a local community college as a physics prof after he and Stan are done sailing around the world and fulfills his destiny as the eccentric professor he was always meant to be

And he quickly gains a reputation amongst the stem students as That Professor

I bet his ratemyprof reviews would be insane:

“He didn’t grade any of our homework until the end of the semester, but he brought something called a ‘plaidypus’ to class and let us pet it. Her name was Dorothy. 5/5”

“He constantly ranted about how ‘triangles are the most untrustworthy shape’ whatever that means. Also he doesn’t know how to use the internet. I hated his class. 5/5”

And many more iterations of “this guy is terrible. 5 stars”

"Professor Stanford Pines once lept up onto a table in the middle of class to catch a bee that had gotten in, and then completely derailed class to talk about how great bees are. Amazing class i learned a lot. 5/5"

"Dr Pines has a twin brother who he occasionally mentions, and once a guy who looked IDENTICAL to Dr Pines taught instead. The class itself was fine (albeit with more swears) but it's clear it was a totally different guy."

"This professor doesn't start grading until the end of the semester, grades extremely harsh, and answers all emails in a manner that is so untimely it borders on straight up disrespect. He talks about fairytales and monsters in such a way that im surprised he's not an english major, but its clear he's absolutely brilliant. I would never take his class again."

"Doctor Pines is known for hard grading but that's just because he has high expectations and wants his students to be curious and willing to seek help. As long as you bring even an ounce of interest into a conversation about science (either relating to the class topic or otherwise) he will match you 110%. Will answer any question very enthusiastically. Knows basically every scientific subject somehow?? Asked him for help on a paper on molecular structuring during office hours (that are for some reason held at 10-12 pm--that's right, PM.) and he was very kind and thorough when he wasn't going on tangents on the existence of hopefully-hypothetical shapeshifters. 5/5."

"I'm not entirely convinced this man knows what computers are. He writes paper corrections with a quill. Might be a time traveling alchemist. 5/5."

"Don't draw triangles in the margins of your paper. He will shoot your test with a laser gun. He did let me disassemble and reassemble the gun after so I'm not mad about it. 5/5."

"Hot. I think he thinks sexual attraction is a myth, unfortunately enough for me. 5/5."

"love his energy but MAN can he sound condescending. there's something about his voice... 4/5"

"I wish he would stop getting on to the tables and walking around on them while lecturing, half of my notes have mud prints on them now. At the very least he could wipe his boots off beforehand. That's just common decency. Sit in the back and hope he doesn't get to your table before the hour is up. 5/5"

"He's insane. 5/5"

"once looked in his bag and there was a whole dead (?) owl in there. not sure what that was about. 3/5"

"For 6 months I've been stopping by and saying Hi to Dr Stanford whenever I see him around the business department, and for 6 months he's been responding as normal and helping answer any pressing physics questions I have, 6 MONTHS I've talked to him in passing and in class, and only NOW do I discover that it turns out that the guy in the business department building is NOT Dr Stanford Pines, my physics professor, but is in fact the advanced BUSINESS professor, StanLEY Pines, his twin brother. For 6 MONTHS this man I have never had a class with was doing the voice and mannerisms of my physics teacher just to fuck with me. I would complain to someone but the guy was genuinely helpful when I asked questions about hypothetical physics and didn't go off on tangents like Dr Pines would. Still don't know how a business guy knows so much about physics. I give both of them 5 stars."

"Dr. Pines is eccentric. One time the geometry professor forgot to erase the chalk shapes on the blackboard and he hid under his desk and growled and barked if we got too close. Several of us went looking for someone to help and they had to send his twin brother over and evacuate the room to calm him down. Luckily it was an isolated incident 5/5" (feral ford au)

"Dr. Pines definitely knows what he's doing, but the rest of us have no idea. 5/5"

"Our entire second semester was dedicated to a detailed and complex explanation of the theoretical multiverse that nobody understood whatsoever and all of us failed the test. 5/5"

Oh my god Wisconsin's governor just used a line item veto to secure school funding increases every year through 2425. He struck out a line so it now reads "through the 2023-2425 school year". He's allowed to do this lol

Confirmed allowed by the Supreme Court of Wisconsin

May the school funding empire of Tony Evers reign eternal. Unfathomably powerful blackout poetry entity

So this is definitely a case of "we did not expect Harvard to fight back and we forgot they have billions of dollars and the best lawyers"

"we forgot that they have almost forty billion dollars. most of the people we pick on do not have almost forty billion dollars, or really any number of billions of dollars, and we are realizing that 'almost forty billion' is a big variable to leave out of your strategic calculations. really cannot emphasize enough that we have not racked up a lot of experience bullying - specifically - targets who possess close to forty billion U.S. dollars"

They also forgot what Harvard makes, its primary reason for existence: lawyers.

Yep. If you're a Harvard grad, and you're not a doctor, you're probably a high end lawyer. And alums are pissed.

Imagine you're driving and someone's stupid little car cuts you off swerving, driving like an absolute dickhead, and you honk at the car in entirely justified anger. Then you get stuck behind the same car at red lights, and while you're there the car's doors slam open, and 35 clowns come out to beat the shit out of your car with comically large mallets that wouldn't do much damage at all if there wasn't 35 of them.

You didn't even do anything wrong. You just disrespected the Holy Papal Clown Gang (not affiliated in any way with the Vatican or the catholic church) and for that they're going to teach you who's doing the fucking honking around here.

The main issue with Modern Star Trek is that it lacks campy episodes. Discovery and Picard and SNW take themselves far too seriously. Where is a dog dressed up as a unicorn? Where are the weird ass aliens that are a thinly veiled political allegory?

This can easily be solved by reducing the special effects budget to $10 USD and the help of 3 paid interns.

“snw takes itself too seriously”

I agree that SNW has its silly bits, but it still feels entirely too sanitized. (NB: I like and enjoy SNW!)

But-- it's not queer enough or horny enough or janky enough to have gained higher level star trek status in my mind. That's what happens when there's too much studio oversight, probably.

Queer, horny and janky are things that Lower Decks does right imo.

this is criticism i can get behind. Its all too polished and shiny. But i appreciate them trying to undo it a little so far.

Hello and welcome back to another Show and Tell Saturday! Show off a finished craft, a work in progress, or a completed trade - what's new in your world this week?

Hello! I was inspired by the recent report of an anglerfish swimming up to the surface

TEEF

Holy shit, that 2nd picture is terrifying. Well done! The teeth look very sharp.

in 1994 when green day first became famous, they invited pansy division, an openly gay punk band, to open for them for the entire dookie tour knowing full well the responses would be mixed. in 2016/2017, on their revolution radio tour, green day chose only female led punk bands to open for them to help create recognition for these artists in a male dominated scene. this band has always been using their voices for the right reasons and i love them so much for that.

And Against Me! Is opening for them too! A band fronted by a trans woman! Fuck yeah Green Day

If I’m not mistaken, there was a prom somewhere that was cancelled one time because a lesbian couple wanted to go, so Green Day rented a venue and had a prom for them. Not sure about accuracy, my mom told me about that

yes this is true as well!! green day helped to fund and organize this second prom when the first one was cancelled. the second prom was actually open not only to the students of the school, but also to any other lgbtq+ students as well as supporters in the state of mississippi who wanted to attend as well!!

Billy Joe Armstrong once literally leapt into the crowd at Green Day show and drop-kicked a guy who wouldn’t leave a girl alone.

jsyk at people who think Green Day is just a “really great ally” to the LGBT+ community: Billie Joe Armstrong wrote a song about coming out to his parents as bisexual in 1994 when he was only 17 years old in the exact same album that made them famous. 

he’s been out for 24 years

This poll is in response to a post I just saw about a Business Insider article, and it motivated me to conduct a little experiment if you would indulge me

Reblog to stray further from gods light, and also for science 🧪

Dude has a death wish

Delighted to announce this bird is real and is a corvid.

Truly the family that just keeps giving.

I haven’t seen it in the notes yet, so afaik, here’s the source of that video! So now you can see the funny poison bird much more clearly.

It was taken by a biologist that studies birds so it seems like he knows what he’s doing. For the most part. Here’s his caption:

You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird

I can’t leave this in the tags, I’m sorry.

I went to bed and I woke up feeling well rested. this has never happened before what do I do

DO NOT STAY I BED WHATEVER YOU DO THE EUPHORIA WILL DRAIN FROM YOU BODY AND YOU WILL BE LEFT MORE TIRED THAN BEFORE. ABORT. ABORT. GET OUT OF BED AND GO SIT IN THE SUN BEFORE IT DRAGS YOU BACK.

woah, bed feels even more comfy than normal....