welcome to the junkle

you know who you are

i expect to see every girlie saying oh the sleepy meepy by tomorrow at naptime is that clear

oh the sleepy meepy. everybody wants to be me enemeepy

thinking about a guy i used to know who thought it was very cool and trendy to brag about drinking cough syrup but idk if he didn’t know about codeine or what but he was drinking straight childrens nyquil and acting like he got zooted

i appreciate everyone noting that enough nyquil can get you messed up but i swear to god in heaven guy was doing little shots. in the cup that came with the medicine. once every 5 or 6 hours. he was just taking cough syrup as prescribed more or less

we're at the tail end of tumblr's ibuprofen era and right at the peak of its toys era. every day I look in the mirror and see a different man than I saw yesterday.

op what does this mean

every few months tumblr users latch onto the idea of something, like ibuprofen or toys, and for about year give or take you'll see like a billion posts that incorporate those words into posts, and with each new post the actual meaning of the word get eroded until people are just saying "let's be ibuprofen and toys together" and you're just like yup those are the words alright. sometimes I take a selfie and think "who are you who are you"

This is cinema and the funniest thing I've seen in AGES

Where's my Breakfast?

Oil on Panel 30x30 cm

Artist: Daniel Arthur

I knew this one would piss some of you off

ad in scientific american magazine

because he has 1 million roles

(bleeding from my wound) notice anythiung differebt about me ;)

canceled my prime membership today

My favourite thing in the world is seeing folks act like real human beings around big celebrity personalities

lots of really funny little ways that companies try to reduce the liability of an emoji being synonymous with death threats, but my favourite attempt on a conceptual level has been google putting magical sparkles on the dagger

they got scared in 2018 and have been slowly adjusting since

this is how people on tumblr talk about men they like (x)

the swears that non-native-english-speakers come up with are absolutely fantastic sometimes. my friend just said “she is fuck as shit” instead of “she is fucking shit” and now i cant stop saying things are fuck as shit. the weather is fuck as shit. my homework is fuck as shit. phenomenal.

This must be the place

Might be the best DM I have ever received as a tattooer

as a white person i can confirm that cheese is basically like god and life to me. i can be baited with cheese 100% of the time. i will tunnelvision a wedge of sharp cheddar from the other side of the room in any and every setting