kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

“What will I be if I don’t graduate/don’t get a promotion/don’t get my shit together/don’t make this relationship work?” You would be a perfectly normal human being who is inherently valuable and who possesses many talents and good traits

“What if I fail even when I tried my very best?” The world keeps turning and you will find many other things you will succeed at.

the people on tiktok filming a blob-like strawberry and saying it's a GMO one...fucking fake strawberry fans...they literally can grow naturally like this

it's just the strawberries growing together. do not speak lies of these beautiful freaks ever again

every time I find a strawberry like this i'm not hating. i'm happy because there's more strawberry to eat. unlike you

its fasciation! It's a kind of mistake in a plant that makes it... uhhh. not grow right. It can just happen because a replication mistake, or be caused by an injury or sickness. There's a couple plants we grow on purpose fasciated, as well.

These two are accidental.

This one's a cockscomb flower, and also some stems from a fantail willow. These two are grown for their fasciation.

For some reason, people used the term 'cristation' more when it happens to cacti.

He has been imprisoned for impersonating a single grain of rice

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

a post about when someone tags someone else on your post

lets ambush mama

if this gets 100,000 notes then i, the worlds greatest space agency will personally shoot donald trump into the sun

200,000 notes to also shoot the republican party leaders who don’t want to fund science into the sun

i am asking once again to help me get donald trump to the sun

where’s that Bernie Sanders meme?

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

The lead up to that sentence is gold:

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

Addition approved

if tumblr goes down im going to the bar and arguing with a middle aged man about nothing in particular

if one more person says “and then fuck him!” i’m gonna start killing you people. we’re not fucking the guy

I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

its amazing how if you decide not to do something day after day it never gets done. not how i would have things

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.

Thank you! This is such an important reminder.

Also the idea that 'In the old days, men went to work and women stayed home' has only ever applied to a small subset of (primarily wealthy, primarily white) women.

My grandmother had to leave school at age 13 to work in a mill.

if the kraken and sharks get good at the same time we will have a beautiful toxic rivalry <3

current events at the bottom of the pacific

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

chuckles darkly

Well, well, well...

I wonder if Neil’s owner/s know about how we celebrate the date of that photo

Neil himself is long gone from this world, and yet every April 13th this group of internet strangers come together to celebrate him and his act of banging out the tunes. Like an entire holiday, all for this little guy

Cause I think it’s pretty beautiful if you wanna get all sentimental and sappy

good news :)