no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

fool me once shame on you fool me twice whyyy that’s so mean fool me three times ohhh my goddd

legally blonde from warner’s perspective is so funny

One day you’re dating this gorgeous but ditsy girl but your family pressures you to break up with her once you go to harvard so you do and it ends in tears but whatever.

Next thing you know, she’s at Harvard, dressed in entirely different clothes, saying its easy to get in and she’s pretending she forgot you go there. But you payed your way in and she’s rich too so you kind of assume she did the same thing and fine, so you have a stalker now.

There’s a mixer at the start of the school year. She shows up in a playboy. bunny. costume.

She tries to flirt with you while your fiance is in the next room. You tell her enough is enough and she gets like really angry at you.

Suddenly she is kicking ur ass in class, she steals opportunities away from you, she steals your girlfriend, she starts winning cases, she’s on the news now, she graduates as valedictorian

And you deserve it

The book from his perspective is even funnier.

You break up with the girl you actually really like because she's hot, but your family expects you to marry a girl who's rich and also smart enough to be a lawyer herself, so you string her along until just before graduation and then tell her so long and thanks for all the fish.

Then you show up at Stanford for orientation and, at the end of the long list of accolades and accomplishments the various students in your graduating class comes in with, the dean of students announces Stanford Law's first-ever beauty queen, and holy shit it's your ditzy ex.

You have already gotten engaged to the girl your parents expect you to marry. Your fiancee is actually in more of your ex's classes than you are, just because of how the schedules line up. There are quite a few people in your class who knew her before and they all mock her. Most of the other students get in on it. You stay out of it.

There's a Halloween party, she shows up dressed as a Playboy Bunny, and she outright tells you she came to Stanford to prove she's good enough for you. You laugh at her.

Your fiancee convinces you to send everything you ever got from your ex back to her. She does this right before first semester finals. You may possibly feel like a jerk, but you do it anyway.

You get your grades back for the first semester. Your fiancee is near the top of the class. You are at the bottom of the class. You are pissed off about this. You decide you need to do something about this situation. What you decide that you need to do is take your ex, who understands you and would never show you up with grades like that and knows how to make you feel like the biggest man in the world, out to dinner, order a meal that your fiancee has managed to convince you to stop eating for your health, declare to your ex that you are going to start making your own decisions again...and have therefore decided to start playing golf again, damn what your fiancee says. You are completely confused when your ex leaves the table in tears.

You may or may not find out that your ex took all her first semester classes pass/fail, which means she technically did better than you.

You apply for an internship with a lawyer who is working on a case involving a woman accused of murdering her elderly husband. You get it, along with your fiancee, a militant feminist, and your ex. The feminist gets the internship because she is an expert in women's rights and particularly as they relate to this case. Your fiancee gets it because she has insanely good research skills and the grades to back it up. Your ex gets it because she is passionate about the case and also has connections with a number of people involved in the case, including the defendant. You get it because your father went to law school with the lawyer in question.

Your ex gets to go along on depositions. Your fiancee also goes to depositions. You are struggling to keep up with the minimal workload you have been given.

The case gets to court. The lawyer is on the verge of losing. Your ex suddenly jumps up and asks to ask the key witness questions. She then manages to skewer the entire testimony based on her intimate knowledge of both beauty routines and sorority politics. She gets mobbed by the press immediately following the case and the lawyer goes on record as stating he is proud of her.

You are delighted. You present your ex with a detailed explanation of how you can now marry her, because your parents will accept her when your dad's old friend tells them how smart she is and you can have a hot wife too. Your ex informs you that she's not interested in you anymore and that she's realized she can do better, and then adds that incidentally your fiancee has been standing behind you this entire time hearing you talk about how she's ugly as a brick fence and you're only marrying her because your parents are making you.

Your fiancee gives you the ring back, skips class, and goes to the salon. Your exes have now unionized.

“Don’t wait until the last minute to do your assignments!”

listen. I don’t. But I am always trapped in a vicious cycle.

And the only thing that breaks this cycle is the dread of an imminent deadline

Very ADHD

Dude So many 12’s

april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH

If you haven't heard of Julia Donaldson, she's primarily a picture book author, who we can thank for extremely popular Halloween classic Room on the Broom as well as the Gruffalo.

Let this be a testament to the power of picture books.

I'm living for these jokes.

Also I need "GET GRUFFALO'D, BITCH" on a T-shirt.

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET

where do I sign up?

took me a whole minute to realize this was probably like. a weed fearmongering propaganda piece. and not a lesbian weed ad

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

Articles written by neurotypicals will be like “ADHD children find the external motivation of the SAW traps is very effective. Here’s how to build SAW traps to maximize their productivity.”

POV: you are a community guideline violation.

This machine kills AI

This is the most satisfying story I've read in a long time

he was coming out as trans here

Can we bring back Palestine Academy as a resource, I fear a lot of people are forgetting to go back to the basics and simply learn about what is happening in Gaza and what HAS BEEN happening for the past 76 years