God’s Favorite Heathen

You guys want to play a game? REBLOG and put in the tags why you follow this person

Come from a religious family, im not religious, i just begged for glow in the dark jesus when I was a kid cause... he glows... in the dark. And that's cool

GOOBERS

my dashboard simulator

mutual 1: I am going to kill all of you

mutual 2: *70 consecutive reblogs of a fandom you've never heard of until today. every time you refresh there's 30 more.*

mutual 3: *image of a guy in a dog collar* why did he do this

mutual 4: *reblogs of beautiful picnic scenes*

mutual 5: everyone get fatter now

mutual 4: just thought about dunking them in blood again 🤍

mutual 3: *image of the same guy but blurry and far away* is this allowed

mutual 6: I love music 🎵🎶🎵🎺🎹✨💖🌈

mutual 7 that we are all beginning to suspect is actually a dog: do you guys ever think about chewing on bones haha

mutual 6: anyone ever heard of this shit called music? *image of stickman covered in blood*

mutual 5: make him a woman NOW!!!

mutual 8: if you ask me about my ocs I will kiss you on the mouth

mutual 9: hey what happened to mutual 10

mutual 10: day 173 of being lost in the mountains. I have begun to recreate my family's faces out of the river clay. at night I recite my favorite songs so that they may never leave my memory. I am beginning to forget birthdays. I haven't tasted a grain of sugar in months.

mutual 7: that mailman will pay.

once again a promising erotic story ruins the sexiness by concentrating on sex, the least sexy part of sex.

mabel pines convincing her entire family to keep kosher just so there's no chance anyone will eat waddles

this could be the snart of something big

this could be the snort of something pig

Please imagine dragons wearing this

Okay I'm waking up to ash and dust

🔊🔊 END STAGE DISCOURSE!! END STAGE DISCOURSE!! WE HAVE ARRIVED AT "FICTIONAL SEX IS COERCIVE BECAUSE CHARACTERS ARE BEING FORCED TO DO THINGS BY THE AUTHOR"!!!! 🔊🔊

My favorite professor, shout out Glenn, would interrupt students who were saying "Well XYZ clearly felt--" and go "No, backtrack, scratch that. They are a character. Not a person. They don't have any thoughts other than what the writer clearly specifies on paper they have. Don't give agency to nonliving things, they are not real, they never were real, and it is dangerous to lose that line."

He was a sweet man and raised in the Midwest so interrupting people hurt his very soul, that's how dangerous he felt the idea of losing the line of fiction was.

He notably also taught a course called Bible in Lit which I took and those lines came back a lot.

the original tots introduction having ford and mabel bonding a bit more is so cute

and them comparing hands and entwining their fingers (something i hc ford would've only done with stan and his mum when they were super young...)

the midwest is so beautiful this time of year…….reblog 2 support our farmers

As it turns out, Herobrine is an actual username on Minecraft, confirming he’s real. I know this because Mineimator can go through minecraft java and grab the currently used skin of pretty much any java player ever created. And it turns out Herobrine is real, and he is currently wearing a cat onesie, and words can not express my fucking confusion.

MINECRAFT USER STEVE IS WEARING A MATCHING ONSIE

this morning im meditating on just how truly funny it is that alex went with making bill the obsessed one.

like ford was dedicated, he worshipped bill, but ford's devotion made sense. there was a logic and rationality to it and it had boundaries that were consistent and he followed. he worshipped bill for his knowledge and power, loved him for what they had in common and how they got along, left him when he learned of bill's true nature and intentions, and took it upon himself to make up for his mistake by turning that dedication from serving bill to killing bill. this is relatable and understandable.

but making your series main villain, someone immortal and with godlike powers and abilities and influence doggedly obsessed with just some nerd is like. really funny. girl go fuck a black hole, take a neutron star out for dinner, text back one of the eldritch gods on the edge of time. ford collects moths.

I think any marriage needs its running jokes, ones that you can repeat with variations, or make callbacks too.

One of my favorite bits is describing the romcoms I watch to my wife as though I have never heard of a narrative in my life.

"She runs a small plane company, and he's from a major airline trying to shut her down, so it's really anyone's guess what's going to happen."

"Get this, he's a stuffy office dork and she's a free spirit, and they end up stuck in the same cabin on a cruise. Sounds like a disaster, right?"

"They've decided to pair up and be each other's plus one at a series of weddings to feel less pathetic, but it's not like they like each other or anything."

So I told my wife that I hoped she would still enjoy me doing this bit forty years from now, and she smiled and held my hand and said that she'd never liked it, not even the first time.