I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.

I loathe my job and need a new one. I need all the help I can get.

I loathe my job and

need a new one. I need all

the help I can get.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I love when singers think maybe their song requires a little prerequisite information so they just cover it real fast so everyone’s on the same page. I love that TLC opens No Scrubs quickly reviewing exactly what a scrub is and when ABBA was like “just in case you didn’t know, famed 19th century militant ruler Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated in the battle of Waterloo. We though perhaps not everyone would know that. Alright, so moving on to my love life, which is similar to that actually,”

exactly thank u yes I saw that too. this is about in-song debriefing specifically. when the lyrics themselves are a quick explanation of the info you need to set u up for the rest of the song

there was a certain man in Russia long ago

I love that the only thing that slows it down is being too fucking tiny to make the teeter totter tilt the other way.

[video description: a video of a papillon running and agility course.

id: tags reading “#look how fast this rat can go” end id.]

id: tags reading

“#look how fast this rat

can go” end id.]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

source: nottheworstmom on IG

Yeah, these would do numbers at the ren faire. I'm giggling about how her boobs come in like the nose of the star destroyer in A New Hope

Anime boob physics happening in those dresses... But damn I am not upset.

I am crying laughing.

"Can I spank men with one of those giant paddles? I'll work for free." Honey, the men would be paying YOU. A lot. For the privilege.

As the many-times veteran of scissor use: I have no idea what you're doing either.

this website is too fucking easy you make a post about transgender gay sex or the skull and people black out and hit reblog

Please don't make me choose

This is fucked up. You're fucked up.

“There are no female aliens in our game because we don’t know how to make a female version of this alien” You know that alien you just designed? That male alien? Give it a female voice actor and have characters refer to it as she. That’s it. That’s literally all you have to do 

Make her shorter if you must

Make her BIGGER if you aren’t a coward 

Take your male alien bodytype, make her like 4 feet taller, give her an extra set of arms and sharper teeth, and as muscular as shit.

Boom.

Give her natural camouflage and make the man like this

Make them exactly the same size and shape but different colors

Give him a huge flock of babies following him around to show off what a great lay he is

Surprise mPreganté

Exactly the same but one of them has a cool hat (you decide which)

Give her a sensible haircut for successful hunting while he has a big dumb mullet so big and dumb the food can see him coming and book it

Please just for the love of pie do not begin and end with boobs

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

Yes.

oh god theres art

@altadude you know what must be done.

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

I apologize to all my followers for this

if i had to read this you do too

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

………

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

Tis the season bitches

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

Why is this on my dash?

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’m bringing it back 5 years later, tis the season!

Oh it’s deeper than that folks. Right @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses ??

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

i think i got the major ones

i realize this is probably not the most exciting poll i've ever done

I typically use calibri for stuff like assignments but a while ago I downloaded a font called Kingthings Facetype, which I dearly wish I could use more often. It looks like this btw

Hi WOW that sure is a font

oh my GOD (also my favoured fonts are in my pinned post i dont wanna take up too many lines on this reblog lol)

POKÉMON HERITAGE POSTS?

oh cool someone preserved this in amber before i could erase my mistake

I will never stop thinking about the ep where the gang finds out that the US president is only pretenting to be anti-apartheid, while secretly funding it. And, when he's like, "what are you gonna do about it? You're a bunch of theives, and I'm the president of the world's most powerful country. You think any court will convict me?" So, they just shoot down his plane and murder his ass. Based AF.

ok but the way he's still kind of getting outcunted by the guy on the left

Me only scrolling down enough to see the first photo: they should fuck about it

Scrolling down further: oh they are fucking about it. Excellent!

You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)

It’s funny how many people are replying “but that’s worse!” like you didn’t know that’s exactly why I put a smiley

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

[The artist, putting a simple cake next to a much fancier one: “Aw man, that guy’s cake is way better than mine.” The Audience, gleefully holding up a knife and fork “HOLY SHIT! TWO CAKES!”]

additions from the og artist (credit)

“Holy shit two cakes,” I mutter to myself as I do fucking anything these days, this post was a godsend