She flies like thunder

BINGUS NO

I think I’ll try defining gravity

THIS IS THE PUN OF ALL PUNS EVERYBODY CAN GO HOME NOW

themessyoracle.com

I realized what bothers me about the skyrim horses’ head tracking. normal horses don’t look at you head on because they see better to the side. which implies that skyrim horses

are predators.

Reminds me of this comic

https://www.petfinder.com/cat/cat-benetar-49925346/mn/golden-valley/animal-humane-society-golden-valley-mn423/

trinity 

An Actual Real Person my Dad knew. Pretty sure he worked as a bush guide. When someone asked the time he’d pull off his hat - some kind of broad brim - and use to take a few measurements of the sun’s position relative to the horizon. Then he’d declare the time.

He was accurate to the minute.

Fvvdvddsfdssdhnvfh you get back here and say this to the rest of the crew

This hotel reminds you to steal the toiletries!

I work in hotels/resorts, and honestly, take the little shampoos and soaps! We throw them away when you leave (we don’t know if you’ve opened them and messed with them or whatever, so for health and safety it all goes in the trash) If you stay at the fancier places or chains, they’ve actually done some bit of thought into the scents for the toiletries, in that if you use them while at home you’ll remember the time you stayed at the hotel and be more likely to return. Just don’t take the towels or the robes or any of that shit, it’s expensive.

This is true, all soaps, shampoos, and the like are tossed after a guest checks out of the hotel even if it’s clearly unopened because it is considered a health hazard violation in most places if they’re left there. If someone were to somehow get sick from it, a hotel can be shut down. Just take the toiletries, they’re ordered in bulk as is and only cost the hotel a few dollars to order them by the hundreds

And if you don’t want them or you can’t use them because of some kind of skin sensitivity, fragrance sensitivity, whatever, contact your local homeless shelter.

Many will accept unopened hotel toiletries as a donation, and you’ll help a homeless person freshen up.

THIS IS MAKING ME WHEEZE

WHAT JUST HAPPENED

it’s past midnight and im hysterically laughing and then thIS-

I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch

We're all one sensory overload away from becoming the strongest versions of ourselves

supervillain origin story: two conversations happened near me at the same time

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

by mak13_