me: hey man welcome in what can i get you

guy who jerks himself blind every night to the characters from a flossing based gacha game where all the girls are bits of food stuck in the teeth of the demiurge and you can like feed the demiurge different meals to change the pool of waifus you’re pulling from and their names are all like “stringy chicken” and “wet cheese crumb” and shit: just a black coffee please

i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."

"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"

"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.

One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.

"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.

"That's a casset tape. You record music with it."

"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.

"How are you speaking English?"

"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."

"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.

It's the eggplant emoji.

"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"

The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."

"Oh."

"We must be get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"

"Uh, sure, I guess?"

One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."

"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"

"No. Just not worth it."

The group disappears in a shimmering light.

The casset clatters to the sidewalk behind them.

Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.

I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a casset player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.

I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.

A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.

We're no strangers to love

April fools I drew them as people lol

waiter waiter!! more hilson yuri please !!! + curimomo

Are You My Mother?, Alison Bechdel

Now that Matt has fired half of tumblr's employees, leaving this massive site with a skeleton crew of 25 people, it seems inevitable that tumblr's remaining lifespan can be counted in months. I doubt it'll die overnight, few sites do, but it'll probably gradually lose functionality until, in a year or two or three, they decide to shut it down for good.

When that happens, I will not move to bluesky or instagram or xitter. I'm an internet troglodyte, I'm not adapted for standard social media. Instead I'll create a forum and stay there, like I did before I discovered tumblr in 2013. And you can find me there, continuing my horse figure hobby, until the sun burns out or my body gives in, whichever comes first.

Anyways, this is a reminder for you to turn on desktop mode for your blog so it can be scraped by archivists when the time comes.

I also have a website which will probably get MUCH more frequent updates once tumblr dies

(Though honestly my hope is still that some day someone will recreate the Elfwood forums)

Anyone want to quick shout out what desktop mode is/how to do the thing?

Ah, my bad, it's called "custom theme" in the settings. It's only available in browser (not in app) and it'll allow people who aren't logged in to visit your blog, including archivists

at this point i just view the term 'queer infighting' as a dogwhistle for transmisogyny. makes my skin crawl every time i see it

i also think the only way you can genuinely believe in a world without 'queer infighting' is if you have a middle schooler's understanding of demographics and believe that identifying with the ill-defined umbrella of 'queerness' supersedes and homogenizes all other facets of a person's ideology. is what you're observing actualy 'infighting' within a socially and politically coherent group of people or is what you're observing people with vastly different worldviews being expected to never have competing interests because they've been assigned the same pride flag.

They be talking anywhere fr

Big fan of when old jrpgs would do this

into great silence

where is any higher quality version of this image

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

not very new hyperfixation rediscovered write a poem abt it

holy shit, more of this please

what was everyone's first mitski song ever. mine was crazy it was happy i think i blacked out for about an hour