At no point did I expect what he was making. I think I just assumed it was book binding?

Lads, he is not making a book.

A book? Obviously it's a belt!

Nope. Not a belt.

"the grand canyon is just a big hole in the ground" one, yeah it is and that's awesome, and two you know nothing cease speaking immediately

like I can't get too mad because like this is one of those situations where pictures can literally NEVER do it justice but if you've ever actually been there I feel like there is no world in which you could describe what you're seeing as a "big hole in the ground" it does NOT come across like that at all

it's like what if you were looking at the ocean but it wasn't the ocean it was an echo of a river with the immense power of an ocean that no longer is and all the shadows the waves left were made out of unfathomably huge ancient rocks in a painted rainbow of color and all at once you fully understood how big the world is and how small you are and how painfully, achingly long six million years is and what sailors and storytellers meant when they described the edge of the world...

it's like looking at an elder god but it doesn't drive you insane so much as re-contextualize your place in the universe in a weirdly kind and loving way

idk how people can describe that as "just a big hole in the ground" like bro it's everything

it reaches to the horizon and literally that's the crazy part to me. yeah it's a big hole but it's a bigger hole than my town and it's older than the hill i live on. so.

no but LITERALLY like I think people don't get it you can BARELY see the other side even if you're standing right on the edge, it IS the horizon if you're facing it, it's 100% like looking at a large body of water and it DOES THINGS to your brain

The (European) explorers who first encountered it were horrified by it; one called it "the grave of the world." It feels less like a geological feature than a force of nature.

It has different weather systems on the North Rim as opposed to the South Rim. There are small mountains INSIDE IT. It’s 270 miles long just based on the river (not including offshoots), which is the distance between New York City and Virginia Beach. You can’t take a picture of it that does it anything close to justice. If you attempt to cross it without proper preparation and guidance, and probably a mule, you will die. “Hole in the ground” is just not in your vocabulary when you’re there.

YEAH LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!! Also you can do the Rim To Rim hike without a mule(which was a dream of mine before the Chronic Illness hit) and it's actually so popular the campsites at the bottom are booked like 2 years in advance, but yeah you gotta be prepared. I hiked maybe a third of the way down into it once and I s2g I almost died it was intense as fuck. Don't let your hubris get you, this place is like the ocean in that it's gorgeous but it can and will kill you if you don't treat it with respect.

i've been sending my supervisor (very nice 60 something year old white man, very grandfatherly vibes) my thesis proposal document under the filename "bad draft" and he just sent me my final revisions under the file name "rad draft"

i know that most writers with enough fics will have used a bunch of these and ~it depends on the fic~

i know, i know. but take a moment and look into your heart. what are you most likely to default to:

A Partial List of Things I want to re-read, in no particular order, and for various reasons, and which are all on the back burner for other various reasons:

Can't believe I forgot

Adding:

combine your first real fandom with your current one to create a terrible, terrible au

All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.

you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over

update:

transmogrifying my haters into an animal that is known for something called the "death roll" has backfired in a manner no one could have forecasted

Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.

well now you're just doing this on purpose

I think that's the highest tags forecast I have received so far.

Posts that have 100k gators to me.

Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.

Now there are 100,005 gators on this post

...

You know what? Good job.

Other people said this post had thousands of notes in their mind, but only contributed two notes.

You? You said that it had 100k gators to you.

And then you did it.

+1 respect point.

now that's what i call a

gator aid

"xyz DNI" blocking people is YOUR job, sorry. You cannot ask the world to simply move around you, you have to take control of your online experience or you will be fucking miserable forever. Most people don't read your bio/pinned/carrd before touching the posts that cross their dash anyways.

Also maybe worry less about if someone who likes something you hate clicks on your tumblr post. I promise it is not that fucking serious.

Also-also if you have this DNI because your friends/moots said or implied you have to otherwise you're somehow Bad and/or will be punished by them if you don't, that's kind of fucked and maybe you need less controlling friends.

I know you feel ethically helpless on this bitch of an earth but I promise you, telling people with certain fetishes or god forbid media interests not to interact with your posts is doing less than nothing to make the world any different, but it IS stressing you the fuck out to be worried about if the clicks you get on the internet are coming from someone who likes to imagine The Wrong Fictional Characters kissing.

For the love of god, shipping is not that fucking important. I promise you, whatever the fuck you think you know about someone based on what they ship can be determined by the shit they actually do in the real world about real things that actually happen.

Media consumption is not activism and fandom is not the battleground upon which Ethics And Morals will live or die. It is playing pretend. Please please please get some perspective

Hey what’s the weirdest, morally neutral parenting hack thing you do? For us our 2.5 year old refuses to take any kind of medicine so we mix her meds in sugar free root beer and call it magic root beer

I do a lot of what I call Reframe and Rename. Literally it's just calling the Hated/Dreaded Thing something else that doesn't carry the Evil Associations. Yes it will sound dumb at first and anyone who overhears is gonna think you're nuts, but you can't let the child know you think that or they'll see through it.

It's not time for a shower (evil herald of bedtime or going places), it's time for Inside Rainstorm (fun defying the laws of nature playtime).

It's not "you have to ride in the shopping cart today so mama doesn't lose you in the crowded store" (cruel affront to autonomy), "let's do Buggy Racecar Obstacle Course today" (powerful chaotic zoomies time).

Soup or stew (wicked disgusting food that will surely kill us all) becomes "veggies and glorpy sauce" (mysterious and fun!).

"You want some meat/beans/tofu/[insert actual food name here]?" = meltdown freakout "You want some protein for your big ol' muscles?" = holy crap she actually just ate a protein of her own volition

When in doubt, just describe the thing, preferably in the most bonkers way possible.

There’s always a Calvin and Hobbes comic for every parenting situation lol

my mother called spinach pasta Green Pasta until I was 13. I did not know I was eating spinach until the first time I helped her make it and literally took the spinach out of the fridge myself.

(we still call it Green Pasta at home)

You can still do this as an adult, too. I share pictures of my salads to friends and call it Leaf Snack and I'll have a pile of vegetables and call it Plant Feast or a bowl of berries and cherry tomatoes will be Round Feast (which was a particular favorite of many) and people will reply saying they now want to get a Leaf Snack. And you can do this with anything throughout your life to make it more fun and exciting and engaging. Time to exercise? No, it's Flail Around Time or time for walkies!

It varies by kid but for my eldest I would give them a small serving of a new food and say, "you will probably hate this but you need to eat one bite to try it."

And my contrary child would take a bite, indignantly announce, "I do too like it!" And it worked even after they knew why I was doing it.

My youngest, this approach would not work at all as he would just agree with me.

antique.alchemist : instagram

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

dont apologize. skeletonomenon is beautiful

did.... Did Gideon Nav write this post?

A Partial List of Things I want to re-read, in no particular order, and for various reasons, and which are all on the back burner for other various reasons:

Can't believe I forgot

There's more:

spin this wheel for a length of fic. you have to write a fic that length

Spin the wheel!

You are offered $20,000. In order to get the $20,000, you have to listen to the album chosen by the wheel from start to finish in one sitting. No breaks, no turning down the volume, no taking off the headphones. You have to listen to the album in its entirety.

No "I don't know this album" option, search it up yourselves and listen for a few seconds, expand your media diet