so background. my fiancée and my mom have been calling each other “BFF” since we started dating over 5 years ago. like that was my mom’s contact name in Selena’s phone for half a decade.
anyway we just got engaged a few days ago, and now the two of them want to update their nicknames to reflect that. and. well. hold on i gotta gear up for this one
they have decided on “mother in law forever” and “daughter in law forever.” fucking. MILF and DILF. yes they are both FULLY aware of what those mean and not even god and his angels can make them stop
can someone please mercy kill me
update! you haven’t experienced horror until your partner greets your mother by screaming “hi milf!!!” across a crowded pride festival!
Your milf sounds incredibly cool
Sobackgrundmyfiehvltwpj 23- original post
Theyavdcionmrlwfugksbp 22- reblog 1
Updateyohvnxriclgsmbfw 22- reblog 2
Yourmilfsndceb 14- reblog 3
Sobackgrundmyfiehvltwpjx 24- total
sorry for being indecisive, I haven’t had any prophetic dreams to guide me in a while
soryfbeingdcvhatpmuwl- 21
Secret word: hat
When am I allowed to stab a man?
march 15th
That's so far away though
Whenamilodtsb 13- original post
Marcht 6- reblog 1
Thasofrwyug 11- reblog 2
Whenamilodtsbrcfyug 19- total
me.
To give more context: The reviewer was Jean Lorrain, who also was gay. Both showed up to the duel and both missed on purpose.
gay people can never just ask each other out
Folwhsugetdacrypnvbikmx 23- original post
Togivemrcnxhwasjlybdup 22- reblog 1
Gaypeolcnvrjustkh 17- reblog 2
Folwhsugetdacrypnvbikmxj 24- total
Secret word: cry
whenever I see gimmick blogs I don't consider that they have a separate main blog or anything else. That's just what they do all the time. God put them on the internet to count the number of lobsters in other posts and nothing else.
whenever I see gimmick blogs I don't consider that they have a separate main blog or anything else. That's just what they do all the time. God put them on the internet to count the number of lobsters in other posts and nothing else.
fool count: 0.75
you tag me in a post with not a single fool in it. that means the true fool is you
whenever I see gimmick blogs I don't consider that they have a separate main blog or anything else.
dragons
DRAGONS LOCATED
Whenvrisgmckblodtaypjuf 23- original post
Whenvrisgmckblodtaypjuf 23- reblog 1
Dragonslcthebykup 17- reblog 2
Whenvrisgmckblodtayp 20 reblog 3
Whenvrisgmckblodtaypjuf 23- total
draws this then smokes two joints to the face and passes out.
imusngyfcktehapobldrwj- 22
message to all trans people please survive
Mesagtolrnpuvi- 14
i still think the funniest way a celebrity has ever been "cancelled" was when we found out DJ Khaled didnt eat pussy
istlhnkefuwaycbrvdojp- 21
can i come over and lick your himalayan salt lamp
Caniomevrdlkyuhstp- 18
actually……1 more thing because I realised I haven’t posted this yet. the best & worst piece of art I’ve ever made - 3D shark called biscuit that I modelled for a class a few years ago. toiled on him for hours, cried over him, went on a journey with him. still failed the class. he haunts me to this day
LMFAO hell yeah give biscuit 2000 notes. why the fuck not. are you seeing this professor? are you seeing what my “failed” experiment has achieved
i want to turn off reblogs for this post but it’d feel like taking biscuit out back and shooting him in the head. so instead i just hover my cursor over the button like i’m gently tensing my finger against the trigger of my 4 gauge shotgun while biscuit is staring at me with his soulful lack of eyes
Actulymorehingbsdvpwkfj 23- original post
Lmfaoheygivbscutnwkrpdx 23- reblog 1
iwantourfeblgshpdkcmjvy 23- reblog 2
Actulymorehingbsdvpwkfjx 24- total
