i have never once in my life been normal about a man with brown hair and a tragic backstory

“nothing like a little cock warming on a thursday night, you know what i’m saying?” i offer to the silence of my bedroom.

“uh. no?” my husband calls from the living room

several moments of silence pass.

“was that all?”

“yeah. that was it.” i confirm.

“okay.”

he unpauses leverage and off we go, passing like nothing more than two ships in the night.

congrats on the penis appointment mr variousnumbers. i hope you get the nicest set of cock and balls on this side of the mississippi.

yeah accidental baby acquisition is fun and all but what about purposeful penis procurement

here’s the closeted furries “hey man… can u bum me a cig” and “the one uncle nobody invites to the family reunion but SOMEONE keeps telling him where it is anyways”

if you want an idea of what john is like, imagine hau from pokemon sumo

ALSO the ppl who kept asking me for trans thomas art, HERE he’s trans in this au (; 

ft John:

date of origin: 12th of september, 2017.

@hypermess There is absolutely no way

…oh my god

…the original

Oh my god

THE ORGINAL???!!! THIS HAPPEND ON TUMBLRR?????!?!?!??! OMFGGG?!?!?!??!?!

miku binder jefferson my beloved🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

THE VERY ONE???

thinking two characters have had sex does not equal shipping at all… i dont have to like it i just know it happened

im sorry but this is the funniest fucking tag i could have seen

like i'm sorry but we as a fandom have to stay firm on our anti-AI values. we cannot suddenly start giving AI a pass when it's something we "want to see" like destiel kisses. it's not suddenly fine. we're not going to start using AI to make fanfic scenes come to life or audio AI to make characters "say" stuff we want to hear. you have GOT to be firm on your anti-AI stance. if you start making exceptions then suddenly anything will fly. fandom is for real art and creations made by real people. no AI fanfics. no AI art. no AI rendered "bonus" scenes. no AI audio. none of it has a place here.

why is this so funny

how much of a transphobe do you have to be in order to get suspended on the transphobia website

being 5'7" is so fucked. AND i'm a top. i suffer more than you could ever know.

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her pussy 🧝‍♀️

uhm.... girls only have cocks around these parts, friend

Doing shadow of the colossus shit to HIS pussy

sorry im a lesbian

doing shadow of the colossus shit to her penis?

well if youre unsure i can take over for you

collecting lizards to boost my stamina and climbing the tower to do shadow of the colossus shit to her 17th secret penis

i think the concept of the post is starting to escape us

nothing escapes from me

Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it's so fun you'll love it Come into my wine cellar

no.

Did you just DeWalt my fucking white

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

i just did the BOFA thing to my mum and she goes “that’s very rude” and I said “i’m sorry, i meant it as a parody” and she said “of what?” then i said “a parod-eez nuts” and i heard my dad laugh from the other room

it’s turned out to be a gay thing tuesday guys

dean is so fucking annoying god bless

nvm he's wearing a little outfit :)