“c'est le temps que tu as perdu pour ta rose qui fait ta rose si importante”
I love my job, but reblogging employment jelly for someone else I love.
For anyone who needs it 🧙♂️
some of my favorite woven tapestries, by Cecilia Blomberg:
Point Defiance Steps
Mates
Rising Tides
Vashon Steps
WOVEN TAPESTRIES???
WOVEN TAPESTRIES?!?
Some women are conditioned to be fragile and weak, and to believe that it's a sin to outperform a man. Her feminism would involve allowing women to be strong.
Some women are expected to be strong at times when they can't. Her feminism would involve reassuring her that it's okay to not be strong.
Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're too stupid to ever amount to anything. Their disability activism would involve reassuring them that they're capable.
Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're smart and gifted, and are expected to live up to impossible standards. Their disability activism would involve allowing them to fail, make mistakes, be stupid, etc.
Some children are constantly reminded "you're the child, I'm the adult" in order to deny their autonomy. Their youth rights activism would involve treating them like an adult at times when they feel ready for it.
Some children are treated like adults in order to justify increased expectations or to downplay abuse against them. Their youth rights activism would involve allowing them to be a child.
There is no one-size-fits-all solution to oppression. Each individual person's experience is different. Whatever trauma is caused by their oppression, the activism should focus on undoing it.
I wish age gap discourse hadn't spiraled the way it has because I want there to be a safe space to say "Men in their 40s who date 25 year olds aren't predators, they're just fucking losers"
... honey you just described a predator LOL
No, I said what I said. But thank you for providing an example of how this topic has become insufferable on the internet.
i am honestly burningly curious about how a 40 year old man who fucks around with college grads is not a predator
"College grad" is not a developmental stage, nor is it what I would describe a 25 year old as. I was 4 years out of college at 25. My mother had two children at 25. You can be a fucking congressman at 25.
There's a difference between a man who is immature and buys into misogynistic views of beauty and aging and one who is a predator. Also, many actual predators? Not losers and able to move through society pretty freely being seen as cool and the ideal, so conflating the two isn't helpful.
This is going to be my final response to any attempt at discourse. You're welcome to continue amongst yourselves.
also sometimes a 40 year old and a 25 year old just weirdly find each and it's a perfectly normal relationship - like all human relationships are complex and situational, it's so rarely an either/or thing let alone just one thing only
if a 40 year old dude only dates 25 year olds, DiCaprio style or something adjacent to it, then yeah he's a loser
if a 40 year old dude meets a 25 year old through social event or friends or whatever and they happen to hit it off and make a go of it, and this isn't some sort of reoccurring pattern for the guy, that's just a relationship with an age difference
being predatory means something specific, and man I agree w/ OP and really wish people just stopped ascribing it to any and all relationship dynamics they personally might not like
predator and groomer - two words that need to go up on the "can't use till you learn their meaning" shelf
Something I find really stressful is this seemingly endless creep of infantilisation and removal of autonomy from young people. Like, not to be all “in my dayyyy” about it, but… at 16, my friends and I were expected to be broadly responsible for our presence in the world. Most of us had jobs, we navigated public transport, looked after younger siblings. We were expected to make informed decisions about our future careers and our sexual partners. We were allowed to leave education and work full time (this was not necessarily good thing - I think increasing the school leaving age to 18 was broadly for the best). Most of us were smoking, or drinking, or both - again, not good things, but just facts - and many of us were sexually active. Many of the AFAB people I knew were on the pill. Legally, we could live independently, or get married with adult consent.
Legally (I live in the UK) we were not minors, although we inhabited an odd legal limbo until we turned 18, and we were certainly not “children”. Intellectually, socially, though, we were considered (young) adults, or at the most “older teenagers.” We were expected to read mostly adult books (rather than middle grade or YA), watch the news/read papers, watch mostly adult television.
And I do think we a bit under-protected, under-supported, and in some cases - neglected and financially exploited - and I’m not necessarily advocating that. But it did make us feel, I think, in charge of our own lives, capable and competent to make decisions.
At 16-17 my parents knew they could leave me alone overnight/for a couple of nights, and I wouldn’t starve or burn the house down. I felt comfortable getting cross country trains on my own, or booking and staying at a hotel (yes, with my boyfriend.)
Then there was this… creeping of sentiments that we were all Too Young to trouble our heads about certain things. A lot of it was good - more stringent licensing laws, raising the school leaving age, raising the minimum smoking age(!) - but some of the broader cultural stuff was… a bit patronising? Eg, the introduction of “New Adult” as a category of books aimed at 18-25 year olds, the way cartoons and books written for the 9-12 age group were being marketed as for the 12-15 age group, referring to late teens as “children,” etc etc.
Then, in 2008, there was the big financial crash and suddenly my generation were (broadly) robbed of all the usual markers of adulthood and success, meaning that we got ‘stuck’ in the lifestyles and modes our late teens/early 20s. And suddenly, all the emphasis shifted from social and legal protections for late teens/ younger adults, to legal restrictions on their freedoms/rights, and strange philosophical protections on the emotional states.
So, OF COURSE a 23 year old can’t buy a beer without carrying an ID card, and a 17 year old can’t have a crush on a 16 year old, but also, because you’re *children* you don’t need to live like adults. So the UK government got to save money by saying “18 isn’t a proper adult,” then “20 isn’t a proper adult,” and “25 isn’t a proper adult” because it meant they could refuse to give single occupancy housing benefit rates to people of those ages (I think they’ve raised it over 30 now.) Or by refusing to clamp down on exploitative temporary/zero hours contracts - because they’re just “temp jobs for young people!”, or by raising the retirement age because “60 is far too young to retire. You’re not a real adult until 35.”
And it means the discursive environment is such that you can claim that a 21 year old trans person is too young to make their own medical decisions, or a 15 year old is too young to consent to the contraceptive pill.
Meanwhile, they are not offering additional *protections* to these newly infantilised adults. 18 year olds are still encouraged to saddle themselves with enormous educational debt, or allowed to have credit cards, or expected to pay rent, or no longer receive child benefits. You still have to *work*. In fact, in the States, they’re looking to removed child employment restrictions - but that’s fine, because 20 year olds are being protected from making their own medical decisions, and adults get to say which books their teen kids are reading in school, and kids aren’t allowed to change their name or what they wear without parental consent.
We can see what these people are doing to the rights of children - so why are we being so complacent in expanding the definition of ‘child’?
Regardless - 25 is VERY CLEARLY an adult. At 25 I was married, had two kids, an overdraft, rent to pay, and experience of living in the world for 6 years. I had more in common with someone of 40 than I did with someone of 15. Hell, at*20* I had more in common with someone of 40 than someone of 15. Any sexual or relationship decisions you make at 25 are your own to make.
Of course there are likely to be power imbalances in a 15 year age gap - which is why most 25 year olds don’t date 40somethings - but not actually necessarily. And yeah, a 40 year old who only dates 20somethings is a skeeze - just like a 30 year old who routinely ingratiates themselves with rich 80 year olds is a skeeze.
But if any young people are reading this (doubt it)… your rights are much, much more important than your protections.
Yes, young people should be protected, but if someone claims they’re protecting you while denying you access to personal autonomy, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or sexual self-determination because you’re “too young” to need, or understand those things… be very suspicious of their motives.
And if you’re legally an adult, ask yourself why you don’t feel comfortable defining yourself in those terms.
This thread is from 2023, and now with the Cass report we have seen the real, tangible danger that comes from infantilizing adults in their 20s.
I cannot believe there's absolutely no way to watch free shows and movies anymore, there are too many paid streaming platforms and pirating websites have viruses and ads preventing you from watching it uninterrupted((.)) id rather follow the rules and purchase media moving forward because it is too inconvenient. Seriously, free and no ads or viruses with 1080p streaming is DEAD.
Exactly! It's freaking annoying when I want to watch movies but I would have to subscribe to like 24 different services . Just to watch the shows that I like.
Oh and wouldn’t it be nice for cartoons? Just anything animated. I just wanna stream things without getting conned. Must I be cartoonless forever?
i like using streaming apps but there are waaaay too many and they're all stealing my data .i wish there was a secure and organized way to have millions of shows and movies available one one app. but alas. we've truly gone full circle back to cable + now it spies on you. its a real shame. i dont want to fill my device storage with tons of boring and stupid cash grabs.
i know, it's so annoying for everything to be paid nowadays, especially movies and tv shows. it would be perfect if i could watch them without getting infected by some virus or some shit. i'm fine with ads, they gotta run themselves somehow, but i want to watch stuff and .live! if they have to use different domains i'm okay with that too, because free media is .top dog either way.
for mobile users, it especially sucks, because you can't just use websites and you have to not only pay, but you have to download a billion apps just to find what the thing you wanna watch is on. it doesn't help that the streaming services take up...so much space. so much.
Shit this got me out here cryin in the club
TERFS do not interact
it got an update!!
i’ve been squealing with joy at this for a solid fifteen minutes y'all 😭❤️
I saw the original and I’m so pleased to see the update!
Another small update in the comments! Sorry for light mode lol
[ID: A collection of Reddit posts by u/takeyourmedsbro. They’re under r/MtF, and the first is marked as a discussion titled “To all of you ladies, from a cis man.” It reads:
I hope it isn’t totally out of order for me to post here, as a man I don’t want to take up your spaces so I’ll try and keep this as short as possible. Tw genital mention
I have full permission from my partner to post this and she’s read it all. There is a misconception that the only men a straight trans women can get with, is a chaser. It is very sad that many of you feel that way, and I’m sorry for how men treat you, but that’s not how it has to be. I met my girlfriend when I was 15. She was living as a boy then and was 13. I used to push her around when we played football at school. I thought she was one of the lads. Time goes on, I was never that close to her and we lost touch. Next thing is I meet her again on a fine art course. I didn’t recognise her at all and with her name change and generic surname I never made the connection. I developed quite the crush, we would go on dates and I’d sort of play them off as just hanging out with a friend. I was so giddy around her and I was terrified to tell her I liked her. One day we were going to the movies and I told myself ‘today is the day I ask her to be my girlfriend, and try to kiss her’ We ended up skipping the movie to go on a walk in the local forest. I held her hand and she squeezed mine - my heart was beating so damn fast. We finally kissed and it was like fireworks. I told her I liked her but she cut me off. She told me to stop talking because she needs to tell me something. Now in my mind I’m panicking thinking she’s in a relationship, but she says ‘l used to be a boy. I was at school with you, please don’t be mad I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you ‘and then to my absolute horror she said ‘please don’t hurt me’ She genuinely thought that there was a danger of me attacking her after finding out. This broke my fucking heart. I had my moment of being like wtf - mainly because I’d known this girl for almost 10 years and hadn’t pieced the 2 people together - but then we kissed again, and then again and again and we kissed so much my face hurt by the end. That was 5 years ago and boy this has been a learning curve. I’ve only ever dated cis women before. I am 100% straight and I had to unlearn some internalized shit for maybe a day or so, until I thought what the fuck does it matter who she used to be? Damn I used to be a baby, people change. But I love her the way she is now. I love her smile I love her eyes I love her body her curves her hands her hair and you know what? I love her penis too. I love it because it’s hers. and it gives her pleasure, and there isn’t anything wrong with it. I don’t have a fetish. I just fell in love with a woman and that means I fell in love with the whole package. I’m planning to propose to her on new years eve. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to raise kids with her and I want her to lose all of these insecurities. Just because you can’t carry them, doesn’t mean you won’t be the mother of my children. There is hope, you’re not broken or unlovable or nothing but a kink. You’re a powerful woman.
The second post is titled “Update from the cis guy that proposed.“ It reads:
Hey ladies. I’ve been asked by a few of you to share an update. Here is my previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/e95hgx/to_all_of_you_ladies_from_a_cis_man/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
And here is your official soppy post warning - beware…
Soooo on exactly 00:00 new years (ok I was probably out by a couple minutes but I did try to time it) I proposed to my beautiful girlfriend (who also happens to be trans, hence why I’m posting on here) and she said YES
I don’t know if I can fully articulate how happy I am. I wanted to keep it lowkey and between the 2 of us so she didn’t feel any pressure, so I cooked her favourite meal ever (I would have liked to cook something fancy and elegant but honestly she would much rather eat spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread and then a loaded ice cream sundae for dessert ANY day of the week) we ate, played board games and did a competition to see who could make the best vehicle out of old egg cartons and toilet roll tubes. Then we decided to make cupcakes which were fucking vile because we forgot to add the sugar of all things. Not typical romantic evening but I felt all the love and when I dropped down on one knee she just wept. I didn’t even know I had a yes at first because she was crying so much. I actually got really scared I’d freaked her out so I stood up and hugged her and said I’m sorry and she finally told me yes yes yes and explained that she was crying because it was always beyond her wildest dreams as a youngster that she would ever be able to be a wife. This is not something I can relate to, but I think I do understand, as best as i can as a cis man. We literally just held each other for a bit before we both realized she hadn’t seen the ring yet! I’m not a wealthy guy at all so I was afraid she would be disappointed in my grandmothers wedding ring as her engagement ring (I will buy her a new ring for the wedding) but I did want her to have it as my grandmother always told me she wanted my future wife to wear it. Luck was on my side though people because the ring made her cry all over again, happy tears, because she said it made her feel like the fairytale she told herself as a child has finally come true. I think there maybe was something affirming about the fact that this ring was left from my grandma for me to give to the woman I want to spend my life with.
Ok I don’t want to bore you all to death with the ins and outs but I haven’t stopped smiling since she said yes. The fiancee (I love saying that, so exciting) has been obsessively wedding planning which is mighty convenient for me considering I have no clue on how to organize a wedding. It’s like the child in her has come out to play and its very endearing. She missed out on all the typical girly activities as a child so she’s making up for lost time. She ALREADY has a scrapbook for the wedding and she’s already browsing dresses!
I’m sorry for being all cliche and cringey. I know its insufferable to many and I do understand. I just feel drunk in love, and i did want to update and not leave people hanging! Other than my mother, my family does not know she is trans, because frankly it’s none of their business and my fiancee hasn’t wanted to open up to them about that part of her life. She confided in my mother because my mother knows a transgender boy and so it came up in conversation. As far as the rest of my family are concerned, it’s totally irrelevant to them and they will only ever know if she chooses to tell them. So I was wondering if incorporating rainbows anywhere in the theme at all would be too obviously lgbt pride themed? Or can I get away with some rainbow tokens and such just as a discreet acknowledgement of how far she’s come? Obviously I don’t want people to think of this wedding as anything other than what it is, a straight marriage between a man and a woman, so are rainbows risky? I’m just so damn proud of her and want to show that in some way. I was thinking of wearing rainbow cufflinks or something? Anyway sorry for the damn essay but I hope the new year goes well for you lovely ladies and sorry for being a cringe lord. I just can’t believe I’ve found my queen
in MtF by takeurmedsbro
Third is another post, which reads:
Also we have decided that on the big day, I will wear pink cufflinks and she will wear either blue eye makeup or a flower, and then the theme will be that classic white sorta theme. The colours of the trans flag, thanks to your suggestions. Like so subtle that only me and her will know it means anything at all. Hopefully that will work out tastefully but we also like the pink/blue/white elements of the cake idea. I showed her some of these comments and god damn it you lok she is now exploring sooo many more ideas and concepts, I didnt think she would expand past the scrapbook, but we now have a wedding ‘mood board’ of all things… takes up half the wall in our room. I proposed only 3 days ago! I love her enthusiasm but I’m finding it hard to rate all the dresses she shows me, when I cant tell the difference between any of them… a white dress is a white dress, but she says that’s typical male bullshit and she’s probably right there. But she can wear a bin bag to our wedding and still look perfect so I’m not worried about which compliments her body more, but then I do want her to put a dress on and have that feeling of ‘this is my dress’ and I have the feeling that could be a long process… anyway, the kindness means everything x. End ID]
Happy Pride
This post has 10 sets of parentheses and 2 sets of brackets.
This. THIS is why I don’t put Cishet DNI in my bio btw
normally I don’t read super long posts like that but god damn. that was beautiful
they both did<3
Reiker: So, you wanted to see me again?
Reiker: [Ahem] … Sir?
Eggman: Well, I figured I should congratulate you on passing my little test. I believe you have what it takes to become a proper defense attorney.
Reiker: T-… Test? Do you mean winning the court case?
Eggman: Mr. Strait, did you really think that a proper court session would be that cut and dry?
Reiker: What? Well, I mean… Sure, I thought Mr. Bolton's guilt was obvious, but that's more on him than me, isn't it?
Eggman: You see, I knew he was guilty from the start. There's no way that mole girl could have done it. She couldn't bear to leave a single scratch on a Motobug if its eyes glinted at her the right way, much less a fully autonomous Robian.
Eggman: This court session was a test to see if you could prove her innocence without resorting to blind accusations.
took a while since i was sick but yayy new post <3
Tumblr law: Always reblog the queen.
If you don’t have this on your blog at least once, get out.
A original meme.
WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THE WHOLE MEME WHAT EVEN MY LIFE IS A LIE