Le Chatelier's Principle

— Moderators Delete Reddit Thread as Doctors Torch Dead UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson

Not the first person to point this out, but this is, literally, exactly what happens in A Christmas Carol when the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come shows up. Greedy piece of shit dies and because he’s spent his entire life making everyone else’s worse, nobody cares, people don’t show up to his funeral unless they’re bribed with free lunch, and the only ones who show any feeling about it are the people who’re relieved because his death is a financial reprieve for them.

Moral of the story: live your life so that when you die, people don’t react to it like they’re reacting to, well, the death of Brian Thompson.

You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

one thing i hate about english is your open compound words. what do you mean it's a light switch and not a lightswitch or a water bottle instead of a waterbottle. get real

why won't you let your words frot.

they're rather old fashioned, they like to dance with barely contained eroticism three feet apart in courtship rituals, to french music - the frotting takes place later, in the dark, behind closed vowels

Trust me it drives me crazy that we have bedroom but not livingroom.

something has gone deeply wrong when "focusing pragmatically on issues you can influence and working to make life better for yourself and your community" is considered an unserious distraction while "endlessly exposing yourself to media about distressing situations you can't control" is considered political engagement

No offense but I think some of you would be a lot happier writing a fictional atlas or encyclopedia instead of a narrative story

Concur! Go forth and write your Dragonology and your Guidebook to Fairyland! Write a traveler's diary of a setting! These are fun and legitimate things to do!

I love books that are literally just this!

Sometimes I have to remind myself that's it's ok to have days in bed

It's okay to not want to speak because it takes too much energy or hurts too much

It's okay to be upset that you're missing out of things because you're unwell

It's okay to need help

It's okay to accept help

It's okay to let yourself be in pain or exhausted and to stop pushing through things and just rest

"i can fix him" ok well i will try to make him realize how loved and cherished he is outside of the narrative he created for himself

I love you samosas. I love you empanadas. I love you pasties. I love you dumplings. I love you pirozhkis. I love you savory food in a convenient little carb purse.

I would like to personally thank everyone adding their culture's respective carb purse in the tags on this post. You are opening up whole new worlds of carb purses to me. I WILL go find a Jamaican beef patty.

When will someone gently take all the internet food bloggers by the shoulders, look into their eyes, and explain that coconut milk is not a neutral-flavored dairy substitute

the mirror test is crazy. "we tested a bunch of animals to see if they share the exact same senses, grooming habits, and love of mirrors as a 30 year old new yorker. this is the most objective standard of sentience possible"

bird scientists confidently checking the "Not self aware" box when humans fail to respond to the unusual ultraviolet marking they've placed on them

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

do you ever wonder why stephanie meyer had the cullens live in a small town to preserve their “anonymity?” has she ever been to a small town??? small town people got nothing to do all day, other than to gossip and think about those weird people that live in the forest. if anything, they’re getting the opposite of anonymity. you want real anonymity? live in a big city. you could live next to someone for 5 years and never even learn their name. they’re up all night? they’re beautiful, looks like they had some crazy good plastic surgery? you never see them go outside? somehow hella fuckin rich? yeah. That’s LA

I think more people should just be ok with being single

I love this site

reading about serial killers in the 1800s and they had female incels I guess

hey everyone saying I just don't understand marriage was important for women's survival in the 1800s. I still don't think she had to be a serial killer as a result if i'm being honest. I think you may have skipped the serial killer part

wait real. if I didn't have this damn phone i'd start killing too probably

I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"

One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"

Then they spit roast me

I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario

biggest mindfuck is the fact that it can be so so difficult to tell the difference between when it's time for "do it bored/scared/stupid but by jove just do it" and when it's time for "if it sucks hit the bricks"

This is it. This is the entire summation of what it is to be a person.