i can do anything im the chief of police

Allison Holt（British）

One time I saw this New Yorker cartoon with a piece of penne pasta answering the phone and saying, “Fusilli, you crazy bastard! How are you?” and now I cannot cook fusilli without thinking you crazy bastard

(guy who acts weird in real life already) no one can know i act weird on the internet

hey

horror movie enjoyers will be having a terrible day and be like fuuuuuck i need to unwind….maybe nows the time to finally check out shit piss deathfest 2 . For a bit of lighthearted entertainment

saying this on my post like it needs to be explained…they dont know he has 100+ logs of saw 2004 on letterboxd…….

ZENDAYA photographed by Carlijn Jacobs for British VOGUE (April 2024)

Maladaptive deeply held belief: nobody could ever love me. Im going to die alone

Positive counterthought: maybe someone has an exceptionally rare form of mental illness that would cause them to make the grave mistake of wanting to fuck me

Today’s card is: A 3x5 index card

FUN FACT:

So you know how the Wilhelm Scream is in a ton of films as a soundtrack in-joke? It was popularized by Ben Burtt, who was a sound editor on a ton of ton of Lucas films, like all the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films.

Well, he cameos in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. That's him there. His only screen time is getting knocked over a rail, and he does an imitation of the Wilhelm scream as he does it.

your edible is never going to kick in because you're a bad person

"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.

You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.

all of tumblr: we fucking hate bots

also tumblr:

Hey, I LOVE bots when they’re just here to play with us. COMMERCIAL bots suck.

Hey, I LOVE bots when

they’re just here to play with us.

COMMERCIAL bots suck.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(bleeding from my wound) notice anythiung differebt about me ;)