Pinned
hi this is my first account that i made in seventh grade and therefore where i follow back from on all my better more interesting accounts. such as:
@minyardbag (grab bag account but i am significantly more active over there)
@a-thousand-eyes-and-one (asoiaf account!!!)
@taxesdeathtrouble (comics/scifi account. not super active over there but yk)
thats all :) nice to meet you!
i want the pitt to keep the one shift per season format for s2 but i also want to see the following and i don’t know how to reconcile the two:
Realizing the change in American food culture in my life time is largely due to the fact that nearly a third of adults smoked cigarettes at the year of my birth and that number has dropped to about 10% is something that is deeply obvious in retrospect but I also needed someone else to point out to me. Like, the nightmarish 50s cookbooks existed because nearly half of everyone regularly consumed an appetite suppressant that made you unable to taste or smell for shit. I remember some comedian saying that it was easy to be skinny in the 80s because everything tasted like shit. Or course it did. 40% of your restaurant clientele could't fucking taste it which greatly decreased the potential profitability of any eating establishment that was actually trying, thus affecting the standards even of people who COULD taste. Even if you didn't smoke, odds were someone in your household did and everything tasted like ash. It all makes sense now.
i am increasingly convinced that the wedding industry is having a statistically significant impact on young women leaving the mormon church. has anyone looked into this?
>mormons tell girls their most important roles throughout their entire life are wife and mother. extremely patriarchal, told in every way except in plain speech that they are expected to erase their personhood in favor of performing a strict role
>american culture says that the wedding day is about The BRIDE. it's HER day.
>mormon girls are not told about the strictures of a temple wedding until endowment because secret secret.
>mormon girls spend their whole lives dreaming about their american weddings with their wedding dresses and decorations and loving vows and a day about me me me me me me. perhaps the ONLY day that they truly expect might be in some way about them. the day they get to be star of the show
>wedding industry puffs these american girls dreams of their wedding up to extremes
>forced out of wedding dress on wedding day by a random bishop they've never met in their life because it's debatably not modest or white enough (even though it was made by a mormon dress shop) who also says your name wrong. you're not allowed to speak, and especially if you're in a larger city or a busy day, your wedding ceremony feels more like being processed at the DMV than a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. factory pace 15 minute wedding
>bishop follows you to the reception and loudly tells everyone that you and your new husband are the least important part of the ceremony because actually the holiness of the mormon temple church is what's really been proven today. better not get distracted by young love when really it's the Mormon Church That Matters
at least these are the throughlines i've noticed. i've never watched a woman's "I left the Mormon Church" video that didn't mention her wedding and how much it sucked absolute shit the whole time.
@tater-tot-pot-dish almost forgot to tag lmfao
thank you for explaining further! that makes a lot of sense.
totally <3. i also realized i kind of sketched this out but didn't fully explain. i don't think the heart of it is the opulence or extravagance; more that it's about the specialness of the day and the focus.
mormons think they're normal perfectly average christians until endowment because people who aren't endowed aren't allowed in the temple even if they're a mormon child in a mormon family. (to the point that exmormon youtubers and social media personalities regularly get comments from mormon youths saying that they're lying about the temple and endowment and all of it). + endowment takes place after high school graduation and the expectation is to marry YOUNG. so these girls are generally 18-22 (up to 24 if she both went to college and on mission), brand new to a church that runs on social pressure and expectation, and trained for their whole lives to obey and trust authority without question while ignoring their own feelings and misgivings. the consumerist american values and ideas of the wedding are in full play, including ideas that are WAY more powerful for mormon girls. it being the bride's day is supercharged in importance when the bride knows she will never get another day.
i think in the mormon girls' consciousness, she always knows she's going to be second fiddle. or fourth or fifth. she'll never hold the priesthood or be a leader to her family or community and even in the afterlife, she's beholden on her husband to call her forth by a secret name into paradise. and he can choose not to. but this day is supposed to be the day where she gets to be her own person and honored for her necessity to the whole process even if she's in a support role. where she gets to be recognized and honored for the role she's committed to.
and then. she likely can't wear her wedding dress and will be forced to buy another one in the mormon church giftshop that also sells the secret underwear. even if she does get to wear her dress, she has to put the shit quality mass manufactured one-size-fits-all temple garments on over it to feel ugly and undifferentiable during the ceremony. and her wedding ceremony is conducted in a factory style and it's exactly the same as the other girls that have gone ahead of her. to the point the bishops regularly get their names wrong. and then they don't get to exchange vows. and then they literally aren't allowed to have any kind of wedding celebration disconnected from the church so they can't hold a reception without a bishop in attendance to spend the whole time denigrating the importance of her relationship with her husband and telling all the non-mormons that the most special part of the day is over and they weren't allowed in because they're not holy enough and this reception is just a stupid meaningless party. telling everyone that the only part of the day that the bride had any say over and the only part where she's meant to be special means nothing and is nothing. the part that matters is the part where she doesn't.
during what is supposed to be her special day, she probably never feels more reduced to being an interchangeable hole whose purpose is producing flesh children and spirit babies. any other girl could have been standing there with your husband and it wouldn't have made a single difference. and this is the day your whole life has been leading to.
like, it's the young ages and the recent surprise of what the church actually is and the unbelievable sexism to their liturgy and how it's all mutually exclusive to an american wedding culture that mormon girls are primed to invest in. like these girls talk about picking out baby names and starting wedding scrapbooks at like 8. they're all trained by their religion to be the girl in class that is the most obsessed with getting married and having babies and then, right before what they've been dreaming of for their entire life finally happens, all of those dreams are crushed into dust and replaced with something i think every american would call a very bad wedding.
like. when you think about how a non-mormon girl who started her wedding scrapbooks at age 8 would react to the priest at her wedding getting her name wrong, to not being able to wear her dress, to not being able to choose her venue or have her different religion family members and loved ones in attendance, to have the same guy who got your name wrong in the ceremony follow you to the reception and continue to shit on your relationship in order to remind everyone that the Church is Most Important? she'd murder that priest and burn the fucking building down with everyone in it, laughing while people fled. and then she'd have a re-do and no one would be surprised. the mormon girls seem to leave the church about it, which is basically burning their whole lives down with how enmeshed the mormon church demands you be.
they train these girls to look forward to their wedding as the most important day of their lives and then their church structure actively manufactures the worst, most depersonalized and disrespectful weddings i could ever imagine. and then girls who've been dreaming about their weddings forever go "actually fuck this and fuck you."
Hmm, I hadn’t previously considered that the impulse that causes bridezilla (“This is MY princess day”) does have a positive face.
I'd like to respond directly to prev, here, with a question and some food for thought:
Does the impulse that causes "Bridezilla" exist because many young women are feeling a lack of agency and control, so they make the most of what they can get? Not saying it is healthy, but it's something to consider.
Most times when I see a situation of "Bridezilla", I am looking at someone from a more traditional, patriarchal background and culture where they are expected to fill a certain role, take part in certain things, and so forth. This may be one of the few times they have been told, "Yes, you can have what YOU want on THIS day."
What's being described of the Mormon church in this thread is not unique to that church. It sits on a spectrum, and it is definitely toward one end of that spectrum. I spent half my childhood in the Bible Belt, and while many of my Southern Baptist and Church of Christ classmates openly sneered at the Mormons ("I don't consider them Christians!"), they shared that idea that a girl was going to grow into a woman who was going to be subordinate and submissive to a man. The Mormons just (literally!) dress it up a bit differently.
And "Bridezillas", as well as Extravagant Birthday Parties (another "Special Day Just For You!"), were definitely a thing. A promised relief valve.
It doesn't surprise me that the wedding day is the point when many young Mormon women start to rebel. Before dismissing someone not at that point on the graph as a "Bridezilla", ask yourself if she is in a less extreme, but still toxic and unhealthy, situation and this is how she is rebelling? Why does she feel a need to exercise that much control? How is it lacking in other parts of her life?
"Bridezilla" is a way of trivializing and dismissing that rebellion. You can bet those around her are muttering it as a way to avoid asking, "What's the real problem, here?"
Because they are probably part of the problem.
[image: reply by tater-tot-pot-dish: "like, the opulence that is pushed and how sexy weddings have become have flipped a switch on expectations?"]
There's more:
Former Minnesota Vikings punter, Chris Kluwe, who was blacklisted from the league for standing up for marriage equality, speaks at a city council meeting where he calls Trump a Nazi. He is subsequently arrested and carried out by police.
I just want to clarify a few things, because I have a feeling some people may share this without watching the video in full and/or getting further details from related news articles:
(this is a good thing, if that's not clear; I feel like too many people have forgotten about the tactical use of arrests by activists, especially during the Civil Rights era, to highlight injustice or disrupt a media narrative)
Anyway, kudos to Mr Kluwe for this, I hope more public figures will follow suit.
ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices
absolutely visceral experience. food is so much more satisfying when you have to fight it. i may be feral
i am not proud to say this but that pizza lasted fifteen minutes. i normally am not that gluttonous, but this goes beyond glutton. there was gluttony and wrath. a whirlwind of sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, all atop a flatbread that was shred apart by my own hands due to the neglect of another
in that moment i was wild. i was free. i understood the simplest joys in life. the joy of eating and manifesting my own destiny
been reflecting on this all day and the unsliced pizza experience honestly ruled. i think everyone should try it sometime or another. you have not truly lived until you just absolutely obliterated a pizza in such a feral manner
is this you
yes
run
My best friend and I have this tradition we call “chicken dinner” where we get a rotisserie chicken, lay it on a tarp, start on opposite ends of the tarp, and on the count of three we both run at the chicken and start ripping into it with our bear hands. We will be on our knees fighting for the best pieces of meat, ripping into the chicken with our faces, and it is the most viscerally delicious chicken I have ever had in my life. Grease gets everywhere. We have to do this outside. We have to tie our hair in buns beforehand.
You have never known the joy of food until you are lunging at your friend to rip the best part of the chicken out of their hand, rolling around on the tarp, stuffing it in your face before they can retaliate, and you realize “holy shit did I just growl?” And then you realize they are doing it too.
The chicken gets decimated. It’s absolutely destroyed. We aren’t allowed back inside until we have been hosed down. It’s the best.
Oh ye of little faith.
People across the street looking through the blinds, "Harold! Harold come quick, they're doing the chicken thing again!"
Always need to reblog the Post when I come across it
I would have been such a faggy lil caveboy, they'd be like "grug come learn hunt and throw spear now" and id be like waaaa no let me pick berry with old gran. I'm the best berrypicker and all the elders love me and are soso sad seeing me cry getting dragged off to do hunting.
At dark around the fire, uup the wise would say some shit like "different flower bloom different way, let grug bloom" and everyone would be like "aaaaaa thog see now, thank you uup the wise." so next day im allowed to pick berry and seed with old gran again and she lets me eat the juiciest ones (o^－^o)
SHE DID YOU GUYS!!!
Folk figures, Lucie on the left, Barbora on the right (From the Ethnographic Museum in Prague)
