Honestly people who refuse to ship m/f ships because they’re “straight” or whatever are so fucking boring, like I don’t ship people based on gender, I ship based on chemistry. Shipping isn’t activism, you don’t get woke points for having the most “progressive” ship like this is supposed to be fun so fuck off with your fandom policing and get a life.

The defeated and bloodied king was chained to kneel in front of his enemy and he says weakly: "Is my wife still alive?" His enemy nodded. "You fools," he said smirking, and the king starts laughing as the sounds of explosions getting closer shake the room.

HOLY SHIT

Grian: I see a lot of people asking about the beeping. Scar beeps. Various beeps-- Scar: You wanna tell them? (Scar accidentally mutes the mic, it stays muted for ten seconds) Grian: Hey man. You muted the mic. (both laughs) Don't worry, we got it. So yesterday, I'm-I'm in the car with Scar, and--it's just like a silent ride, we're just waiting in the--y'know. And all of the sudden it just goes "beep, beep. Breathing not detected." I'm like. And I like, silently look over to Scar as if he's just (Grian laughs) he's not gonna be breathing, and he's just like, "oh. Guess I'm gone." (Grian laughs) Scar: Gone, just gone. Yeah, that was. It was silent, the car was silent, everybody was just-- Grian: "No breathing detected." (Scar snickers) Scar: That was great. Now we've have--

I love the hermits so much

never not bringing up this comment its the funniest thing ever

This guy is burning up inside. Dying. Horrors.

idk whose more gender omg

Here’s how to tell if a language is easy to learn

Frisian is an endangered language and it sounds just fine. Hitting you very very hard with a very large fish.

Respect minority languages or die by my comically large fish

Roughly 60% of English words are taken directly from French or Latin.

Several English phrases are Spanish

I mean maybe it depends on where you grew up but it has never been uncommon (for me at least) to hear people say some small phrases or words in Spanish. Like hello and how are you, thank you, shit like that

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

for context, scientists have know about these mfs for like a HUNDRED YEARS but only now have they actually seen one ALIVE !!

reblog to slap his bald head

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

Examples:

- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff

- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible

- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names

- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change

- very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing

the sudden cut to jimmy has me crying laughing on the floor

live laugh love irl permit office grian

I remember during puberty talk in 6th grade they handed out permission slips for parents to sign if they didn’t want their kids getting sex ed and like five students ended up having to wait in the library while the rest of us learned about puberty and health stuff.

Afterwards during lunch recess almost everyone in class spent our time telling those five kids what we learned and showing them our handouts.

You can carbon date this post by its shade of blue

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