Reblogging Whatever Obsession Controls My Life rn

if your man sends you an evil ass text message and you don’t know how to respond, come to me. I will ghost write your response.

I just saw a text thread where a dude said “I wish you were more beautiful so I wasn’t embarrassed to post you” and his girl responded with “oh” OH????????? I would have told her to respond with “I wish your dick was as big as [HIS BEST FRIEND’S NAME] but neither of us are getting what we want out of this relationship so I think we should split” and then advised her to block his number and go to Target to sniff all the candles

if your partner starts undermining you and trying to plant insecurities by implying you’re not attractive enough, not smart enough, not interesting enough, not fun enough, that is a major red flag. they are trying to control you and lower your self esteem so you’ll feel indebted to them for putting up with you and you’ll stay even if you’re unhappy. end the relationship immediately. I also recommend taking a swipe at them on the way because these people like this guy will learn nothing from hearing “you’re really toxic and you hurt my feelings” but the implication that you’ve seen his best friend’s dick and it’s bigger than him will effect his psyche immensely.

European Jews on Ellis Island protest against their deportation to Germany, 1936

via reddit

Don’t forget this part either. While the 1924 Immigration Act essentially cut off Jewish immigration to the U.S., further action by officials enforcing anti-immigrant law was a huge issue in the 1930s too. Being a refugee did not save you from deportation.

And the same thing is happening today with all the refugees from the west and south Asian, and Central and South American countries we’ve either destablized or aided in the destabilization of. We can’t let ICE and their minions deport these immigrants to be killed.

Weeping at this. Frighteningly similar to how I sound

I wonder how many of y'all have heard of prisencolinensinainciusol

Never heard of it. Please tell me more

There is not a single word in this song. There is no language or listener to whom it makes sense.

The context behind this song is amazing. Basically, at the time Italy was going through a big interest in American rock-and-roll music (sort of like a Kpop craze).

Enter Adriano Celentano: a top Italian rockstar. Effortlessly talented, deservedly popular, and extremely funny. Celentano decides to use his talent for evil. He composes a kind of a parody: a song that mimics English but is entirely gobbledegook, improvised to such an earworm you will find yourself humming it while doing laundry 5 years from now.

He performs it on Italian TV. It's an instant hit. Tops all the charts in Italy. And France. And Germany. And Belgium. Everyone goes nuts. It's a great comedy of American rock-and-roll. And of music itself.

official linguistics post

......oh god it’s so fucking adorable. Plus the whole half-orc thing......yeah

So this is what an ork emo phase looks like.

A better story about orcs.

Fake Dating but at the end it’s still fake and they both walk away from it with their friendship as strong as ever

There was only one bed and they shared it without problems because they’re both adults that can be normal about intimacy

comedy gold is when you complain about some piece of media, a book a movie, whatever, but you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and it's not that deep so you don't name it you just say its genre and everything you hated about it and then someone is like "if you want to cleanse your pallet with something good from [genre], check out [exact media you're not naming]!! it doesn't do any of that!" and you're like did we even consume the same thing or perhaps have they guessed the media and they're some sort of sick villain twisting the knife on purpose, knowing you can't cry out...

one time i said i'd love a new high fantasy TV series that doesn't make me watch egregious violence toward women and which doesn't feel like a typical medieval western European setting, and someone told me with absolute sincerity to watch Game of Thrones : (

Attorneys for Rümeysa Öztürk told a federal judge in Vermont Monday that she was unconstitutionally arrested, leading to her detention in a Louisiana immigration facility that the Tufts University PhD student described as “unsanitary, unsafe, and inhumane.”

A nearly three-hour hearing for Öztürk – whom the US government has accused of being “engaged in activities in support of Hamas” – came after the Washington Post reported a State Department office failed to find evidence tying her to antisemitism or terrorism just days before she was arrested by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

“There is not discretion, even in immigration law, for the government to violate the Constitution,” said Öztürk’s attorney, Jessie Rossman, in Monday’s hearing. Rossman argued that the only reason for Öztürk’s detention was that she co-authored an essay in the Tufts student newspaper criticizing the university’s response to pro-Palestinian students.

Polynesians did also rely on a form of a physical map called a stick chart, illustrating the specific wave and swell patterns surrounding different island chains. These were particularly helpful during cloudy conditions when the sun and stars were less useful. To navigate the Marshall Islands, the Marshallese represented ocean swell patterns using parts of coconut fronds and shells as islands. Like a subway map, they don’t so much represent distances as they do relationships. The complex and decorative stick charts were often only understood by the person who made them. They were memorised before a voyage by the pilot who would lie on the floor of a canoe to get a sense of swell movement and often lead a squadron of 15 or more boats.

oh cool i was wondering when Interlac would show up in the comics.

Interlac gets mentioned SO rarely, and it's such an interesting concept. DC really falls down on this kind of worldbuilding. Like, imagine representatives from thousands of alien races coming together to design a language that they are all capable of using? It could be such a cool story...

Like maybe Hal is constantly getting called in to translate for the JL whenever a random alien shows up and the one day finally he's like, "Okay, I think you all need to learn Interlac, let me dig up my books." Learning could be a fun bonding activity for the team, especially if they're still in their early days.

It's also great because it solves the issue of aliens showing up and speaking English with no problem. And if the writers ever need a language barrier to make the plot work, then that alien just doesn't speak Interlac.

OMG YES this would solve so many little problems!!!!

since facebook nixed fact checking some really cool things are being shared and I am totally here for it

no like he actually said this

Everybody check your assorted Mpreg squares

"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.

You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.

#fandom needs this one

disabled children not allowed be children.

especially. intellectually and/or developmentally disabled (I/DD) children, & children w behavioral or “behavioral” struggles (aka many I/DD children) not allowed be children.

which may be weird thing say at first because I/DD famous for be infantilized, be treat as forever children. so would think children be only thing they “allow” be, n say they not allow be children contradicting—

but not actually.

as general whole, nondisabled children “allowed” tantrums. allow emotional immature. allowed childish quirks.

what be normal child tantrum fuss in (white) nondisabled children, even with child health/care professionals who whole entire job be understand that nondisabled typically developing child have underdeveloped brain n not yet have self regulate skill n that developmentally appropriate that normal, it may be talk as annoying & inconvenient, but for I/DD children every. single. time. where they “tantrum” “fuss” even in developmentally appropriate ways, chance be write as sign of their disability, sign of behavior problem, sign of emotional problem. be evidence of disorder. of abnormal. of something wrong. which be “okay” reason dehumanize, abuse, be talk about like animal, like not in room, like difficult problem to be solved.

nondisabled adults fondly look back at childhood comfort objects that maybe still have now, stuffed toys blankets or maybe less usual things that mean something to them. but when disabled children have them it be more likely *automatic* see as problem, as something need be weaned off, need be taken away, as unhealthy overattachment, be write into behavioral plan, only allow x minute per day, see as “impractical” & “useless”.

as general whole, nondisabled children allow say no, allow act out “no,” allow prefer, allow not want do something so protest by not doing, by not listening, by pretend not hear you. it may be see as funny or annoying but meanwhile for disabled children it largely see as oppositional as noncompliance as inattentive as something need be trained out of by all means possible.

nondisabled children do things because they kids. disabled children do things because there something wrong with them.

nondisabled children rights n autonomy not fully respected by any means but disabled children get even less of it.

disabled children often not allowed many leeway’s as nondisabled children, what be developmentally appropriate for same age nondisabled children often be over label as disorder as problem as something abnormal need be get rid off in disabled children.

n especially when come to behaviorally, white nondisabled children get be the most “child,” n Black n other disabled children of color get “child” stolen from them in multiple ways.

do you ever see paleolithic art and go “oh fuck that’s good” like they hadn’t developed agriculture or the wheel but god damn could they paint horses real good

look at this pretty accurate horse art. this is from chauvet cave and is between  31,000 to 28,000 years old.

I wish age gap discourse hadn't spiraled the way it has because I want there to be a safe space to say "Men in their 40s who date 25 year olds aren't predators, they're just fucking losers"

... honey you just described a predator LOL

No, I said what I said. But thank you for providing an example of how this topic has become insufferable on the internet.

i am honestly burningly curious about how a 40 year old man who fucks around with college grads is not a predator

"College grad" is not a developmental stage, nor is it what I would describe a 25 year old as. I was 4 years out of college at 25. My mother had two children at 25. You can be a fucking congressman at 25.

There's a difference between a man who is immature and buys into misogynistic views of beauty and aging and one who is a predator. Also, many actual predators? Not losers and able to move through society pretty freely being seen as cool and the ideal, so conflating the two isn't helpful.

This is going to be my final response to any attempt at discourse. You're welcome to continue amongst yourselves.

also sometimes a 40 year old and a 25 year old just weirdly find each and it's a perfectly normal relationship - like all human relationships are complex and situational, it's so rarely an either/or thing let alone just one thing only

if a 40 year old dude only dates 25 year olds, DiCaprio style or something adjacent to it, then yeah he's a loser

if a 40 year old dude meets a 25 year old through social event or friends or whatever and they happen to hit it off and make a go of it, and this isn't some sort of reoccurring pattern for the guy, that's just a relationship with an age difference

being predatory means something specific, and man I agree w/ OP and really wish people just stopped ascribing it to any and all relationship dynamics they personally might not like

predator and groomer - two words that need to go up on the "can't use till you learn their meaning" shelf

Something I find really stressful is this seemingly endless creep of infantilisation and removal of autonomy from young people. Like, not to be all “in my dayyyy” about it, but… at 16, my friends and I were expected to be broadly responsible for our presence in the world. Most of us had jobs, we navigated public transport, looked after younger siblings. We were expected to make informed decisions about our future careers and our sexual partners. We were allowed to leave education and work full time (this was not necessarily good thing - I think increasing the school leaving age to 18 was broadly for the best). Most of us were smoking, or drinking, or both - again, not good things, but just facts - and many of us were sexually active. Many of the AFAB people I knew were on the pill. Legally, we could live independently, or get married with adult consent.

Legally (I live in the UK) we were not minors, although we inhabited an odd legal limbo until we turned 18, and we were certainly not “children”. Intellectually, socially, though, we were considered (young) adults, or at the most “older teenagers.” We were expected to read mostly adult books (rather than middle grade or YA), watch the news/read papers, watch mostly adult television.

And I do think we a bit under-protected, under-supported, and in some cases - neglected and financially exploited - and I’m not necessarily advocating that. But it did make us feel, I think, in charge of our own lives, capable and competent to make decisions.

At 16-17 my parents knew they could leave me alone overnight/for a couple of nights, and I wouldn’t starve or burn the house down. I felt comfortable getting cross country trains on my own, or booking and staying at a hotel (yes, with my boyfriend.)

Then there was this… creeping of sentiments that we were all Too Young to trouble our heads about certain things. A lot of it was good - more stringent licensing laws, raising the school leaving age, raising the minimum smoking age(!) - but some of the broader cultural stuff was… a bit patronising? Eg, the introduction of “New Adult” as a category of books aimed at 18-25 year olds, the way cartoons and books written for the 9-12 age group were being marketed as for the 12-15 age group, referring to late teens as “children,” etc etc.

Then, in 2008, there was the big financial crash and suddenly my generation were (broadly) robbed of all the usual markers of adulthood and success, meaning that we got ‘stuck’ in the lifestyles and modes our late teens/early 20s. And suddenly, all the emphasis shifted from social and legal protections for late teens/ younger adults, to legal restrictions on their freedoms/rights, and strange philosophical protections on the emotional states.

So, OF COURSE a 23 year old can’t buy a beer without carrying an ID card, and a 17 year old can’t have a crush on a 16 year old, but also, because you’re *children* you don’t need to live like adults. So the UK government got to save money by saying “18 isn’t a proper adult,” then “20 isn’t a proper adult,” and “25 isn’t a proper adult” because it meant they could refuse to give single occupancy housing benefit rates to people of those ages (I think they’ve raised it over 30 now.) Or by refusing to clamp down on exploitative temporary/zero hours contracts - because they’re just “temp jobs for young people!”, or by raising the retirement age because “60 is far too young to retire. You’re not a real adult until 35.”

And it means the discursive environment is such that you can claim that a 21 year old trans person is too young to make their own medical decisions, or a 15 year old is too young to consent to the contraceptive pill.

Meanwhile, they are not offering additional *protections* to these newly infantilised adults. 18 year olds are still encouraged to saddle themselves with enormous educational debt, or allowed to have credit cards, or expected to pay rent, or no longer receive child benefits. You still have to *work*. In fact, in the States, they’re looking to removed child employment restrictions - but that’s fine, because 20 year olds are being protected from making their own medical decisions, and adults get to say which books their teen kids are reading in school, and kids aren’t allowed to change their name or what they wear without parental consent.

We can see what these people are doing to the rights of children - so why are we being so complacent in expanding the definition of ‘child’?

Regardless - 25 is VERY CLEARLY an adult. At 25 I was married, had two kids, an overdraft, rent to pay, and experience of living in the world for 6 years. I had more in common with someone of 40 than I did with someone of 15. Hell, at*20* I had more in common with someone of 40 than someone of 15. Any sexual or relationship decisions you make at 25 are your own to make.

Of course there are likely to be power imbalances in a 15 year age gap - which is why most 25 year olds don’t date 40somethings - but not actually necessarily. And yeah, a 40 year old who only dates 20somethings is a skeeze - just like a 30 year old who routinely ingratiates themselves with rich 80 year olds is a skeeze.

But if any young people are reading this (doubt it)… your rights are much, much more important than your protections.

Yes, young people should be protected, but if someone claims they’re protecting you while denying you access to personal autonomy, financial stability, intellectual curiosity, or sexual self-determination because you’re “too young” to need, or understand those things… be very suspicious of their motives.

And if you’re legally an adult, ask yourself why you don’t feel comfortable defining yourself in those terms.

This thread is from 2023, and now with the Cass report we have seen the real, tangible danger that comes from infantilizing adults in their 20s.

the long reply above mentiones this, but I want to emphasize this: many western societies have lost their "rituals of maturity". Young adults don't get to buy a house, starting a family is a lot of stress if all adults in the household have to work fulltime, and it's almost impossible to find a job above minimum wage that offers career options. All of which are things which previous generations enjoyed more broadly, and which were seen as steps into adulthood.

Only a few decades ago, 90% of the people in the region where I live owned their own houses. Granted, they were often shitty ones, but they were their own. Today, not even 50% own the place they live in.

We've removed the milestones of adulthood, it's no wonder we increasingly infantilize adults. And the worst is, this does nothing to prevent real predators from preying on under-protected people! With the removal of the milestones of adulthood, we also removed a lot of the safety net previous generations could rely on.

All of these additions are absolutely spot on, but there's one more thing I want to add, and that is to point out how the "a 40yo dating a 25yo is inherently predatory" type of age gap discourse increasingly treats predation, not as a conscious, specific behaviour, but as an ambient effect of being in proximity to someone younger. Because if, as it's so frequently argued, it's impossible for people of different ages to have anything meaningful in common, such that there's no legitimate grounds even for friendship between (say) a 25yo and a 40yo, let alone something romantic or sexual, then what's being implied is that either that everyone is at all times only a single interaction away from natively turning predator, or that predation is somehow natural, automatic, reflexive - neither of which is true. But believing that it is is incredibly fucking dangerous. Because if there's no good or safe or reasonable way for someone older to interact with someone younger outside of a strict workplace or familial relationship (and sometimes not even then), then what we're doing is saying that it's inherently unsafe or wrong for younger people to learn from older people, or for older people to mentor them, or for (say) twentysomethings and fiftysomethings to exist in the same spaces as equal adults. We're saying that an eighteen-year-old should feel bad and weird about hanging out with a two-years-younger friend they've known since infancy because it's inappropriate for minors and legal adults to be friends. (I truly wish this was a hypothetical example, but no, it's not: I have legitimately seen multiple accounts of teenagers getting stressed out about exactly this type of thing because of this discourse.) And by acting as if the age gap power imbalance can only ever go one way, we're also completely ignoring the reality of things like elder abuse or older people being scammed or exploited by younger people.

But beyond all this, if you assume all older people are inherently dangerous to younger people, you're leaving yourself horrifically vulnerable, not only because you're not putting any effort into learning what actual predatory behaviour looks like, but because age gaps are not the only fucking vector for predation or abuse. If you can't distinguish between a safe adult/older person and a suspicious adult/older person or between trustworthy behaviour and manipulative behaviour because you've trained yourself to screen categories rather than actions, not only will you miss out on many cool friendships, but you'll be vulnerable to exploitation if and when someone, be they older or not, eventually sneaks past your guard, because you won't know to recognise what they're doing. Yes, there are absolutely times when an age gap is, in and of itself, a massive red flag, but if you can't distinguish between "45yo man marrying 18yo girl he's known since she was 12 the very moment she's legal" and, say, "35yo divorcee marrying 50yo widower she met at an art show," or "19yo dating a 17yo from the next school over after meeting at a mutual friend's party," or even "22yo has an extremely fun consensual one night stand with the 38yo they met at the bar," then you're going to be very poorly placed to recognise any abusive dynamics that don't perfectly align with the optics you've internalised as being indistinguishable from abuse, because the optics and the abuse are two different things. The one might indicate the presence of the other, but it doesn't guarantee it, and you can certainly have the abuse without the optics. And particularly in the context of conservatives increasingly insisting that just existing as a queer or trans person around children is an inherently predatory act, it makes me feel absolutely insane, how quickly so many people have conceded to the exact same type of logic (that an older person just existing around a younger person for non-familial, non-work reasons is inherently suspicious), argued for the exact same reasons (think of the children!) without stopping to question it at all.

the reporting system on tumblr is genuinely awful. why does it take this much extra time to report hate speech again?

you can report something as sexually explicit in 2 seconds with no burden of proof. if you want to report hate speech you have to go into a submenu and then explain *twice* why it counts as hate speech. you have necessarily created a system where people can easily mass report trans women's selfies as being sexually explicit while at the same time making it incredibly difficult and tedious to report users for calling black people slurs.

i genuinely rarely bother reporting transphobia on this fucking website because i do not want to type out a whole two messages explaining that it's transphobic every single time i see someone being bigoted, reporting bigotry should be easy, come the fuck on.

You really do have to distinguish between the correct and incorrect use cases of specialized language to avoid going down a weird rabbit hole.

Creepy abusive guy who uses therapy speak for manipulation isn't an indictment of therapy speak in its intended usage, where it provides tools to process and improve on thought patterns which are otherwise harmful to the patient.

Weirdo reactionary pseudofeminist who thinks turning a penis into a vagina is a reification of patriarchy because their "boundaries" extend into strangers' bodies is not an argument against the correct application of feminist theory.

Guy who thinks "amab = penis" and "afab = uterus" and spins bioessentialist nonsense from that starting point only makes it more important to center that birth gender assignment is a political and social power structure rather than an accurate reflection of biology.

When you're in obscure online spaces a lot it's probable that you'll see misuse of terms more than you see the correct usage just because you have a higher rate of encounters with malicious and/or clueless people. That does not mean the terms are bad, it means you're on the website that made the skinny capitalist guy from the Lorax movie into an avatar of multiversal selfcest through telephone games.