🕸

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

the best porn i ever watched was about these two argentinian monks in a monastery during WW3 who witness the end of the world and then have sex in this candlelit stone grotto while nukes rain down outside and it was really emotionally earnest and played super straight i loved it. and like not just because i have a fetish

both of the monks have eyebrow piercings

I am so sorry you had a traumatic childhood and it made you stupid on line. I was raised as a lotus flower and I smell like vanilla all the time

I put your name on a beetle and let it die of thirst

(x)

How to make ice cream in Alaska

I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

we as a society need to talk about beanie baby crabs more

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes

They never bring up bisexual boy with lame ass straight girlfriend. what about her

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

brown works so hard and does so much and everyone is so mean to her. coffee chocolate hair leather tea wood eyes broth a warm coat autumn leaves caramelized onions the crust on a loaf of bread. all things good and warm and kind are brown. bitch!

anyone want to meet up after school and ride our bikes to get ice cream