𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐔𝐬 (ᴘᴀʀᴛ 35)
☆ Genre: Slice of Life, Coming of Age, School, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Idol au
☆ Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, self-harm (blood, slight gore), domestic abuse/abusive parents, self hatred, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, eating disorders, mentions of weight
☆ Characters: Chan, Y/N (Stray Kids, Y/N's friends)
☆ Word Count: 2.6k
Rifling through her meagre belongings, Y/N had been trying to separate the things into two piles for a good few hours now. Things that she could leave behind in this room without any repercussions such as clothes and the odd ornament, and things that she had to take with her to her new place no matter what, like her artwork and hastily scribbled-in notebooks.
It was the middle of the night; the room was quiet, bar the comforting presence of her friend's music present in her earphones. A small carry case laid open beside her, and its contents slowly built up as she thoroughly worked her way through her drawers. Now that she was going through everything, Y/N couldn't help but realise just how little she owned in the world. She was sure she could fit almost all of her things into a single case, and with it all she could fly around the world, if she really wanted to. It was a strange feeling; saddening, yet liberating.
Y/N reached for her bottom drawer and bit her lip as she ran her finger softly over the handle. She hadn't opened it in a long time, and for some reason her eyes stung a little before she'd even pulled it free. Taking the small key from around her neck, Y/N twisted it into the lock's mechanism. It clicked and she slowly opened it up; the girl had almost forgotten about the letter that was stashed into her smaller locked box, the slightly faded paper sitting neatly beside the wad of money Chan had left her.
Just the sight of them together made Y/N's eyes prickle. She carefully unfolded the letter, her fingers running over his neat handwriting. Her mind swam with the memories of the day he had left; he left in such a nonchalant way, now that she thought about it, and she couldn't help but giggle under her breath as she remembered his attempt at appearing suave infront of her. She sniffed, wiping the back of her hand over her wet eyes.
Idiot … she thought, the word in her mind full of affection.
It hadn't been very long since it had all happened … and yet, at the same time, it felt as though Y/N had lived several lives since then. Everything seemed to have happened all at once - a bad crush, finding Chan, losing all of her friends, Chan leaving, making a new friend to lose her too, getting a job, the whole situation with Kai, applying for university, hunting for apartments … perhaps it was all too much for just a mere two years. One thing after another had left her breathless and slightly dizzy, and as all the events piled up in her mind in the form of troublesome memories, Y/N found herself leaning back against the side of her drawers.
Y/N let her eyes fall shut. She exhaled slowly, her shoulders shaking with the movement.
It felt as though it had been decades since Chan had left.
They hadn't spent very much time together initially either. She didn't understand why his presence and departure had more of an effect on her than anyone else had; no matter what had happened to her over the years, her subconscious would always come back to him. His sweet face would pop into her mind at the randomest of times throughout the day; whenever she had planned to do something, whether the action was positive or negative, he was the first person she'd think of.
What would he do if he was in her shoes?
Would he be proud of her right now?
Would he disapprove of what she was about to do?
Y/N sighed, clutching a little tighter onto the letter in her hand. No matter why she thought about him, there was always one common theme present as the backbone of every one of her thoughts.
Was it normal to miss ‘just a friend’ this much?
Along with the wad of money Chan had given her previously, Y/N tucked the letter into the secret pocket on the inside padding of her carry case. She couldn't bring herself to use the money - not yet, at least. Perhaps one day a situation would be important enough to warrant its use … but for now, Y/N zipped it away into its new place.
Y/N's phone vibrated against her leg. She looked down; her phone was permanently glowing as a flood of messages filled her screen, and she frowned, reaching for her device.
Strays - You were added to the group.
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕀 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕦𝕤 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕝𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕪 𝕚𝕘𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕕
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕊𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕧𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤
Y/N stared. She couldn't tell if the messages were supposed to be sarcastic, or if the withering tone was supposed to be so … withering.
Her mind echoed with a memory, and she couldn't help but smile.
“Gosh … you sound like one of my friends.”
“It's the way you called me old. He calls me old all the time.”
𝕐/ℕ: ℍ𝕞𝕞 … 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕓𝕖 𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟?
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕆𝕜𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕗𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕪
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕡𝕤𝕪𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕔? ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕖𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕒𝕔𝕜?
𝕐/ℕ: ℕ𝕠𝕡𝕖. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕒 𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟.
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: ℍ𝕞. ℙ𝕒𝕤𝕤. 𝕀 𝕘𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕤.
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕕?
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕂𝕚𝕞 𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟, 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕀 𝕥𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣.
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕊𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪, 𝕃𝕚𝕝 𝕄𝕒𝕔
Y/N flushed. She rubbed her eyes and leaned back against her drawers again, tucking her hair behind her ear.
𝕐/ℕ: ℂ𝕒𝕟'𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 …
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕀 𝔾𝔼𝕋 𝕆𝕃𝔻 𝕄𝔸ℕ 𝔸ℕ𝔻 ℍ𝔼 𝔾𝔼𝕋𝕊 𝔸ℕ𝔾𝔼𝕃??
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕎𝕠𝕠𝕠𝕨𝕨𝕨𝕨𝕨𝕨𝕨
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕠𝕠???
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕝
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: … 𝕆𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕣𝕕
𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟: 𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕖𝕚𝕣𝕕
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕂𝕚𝕞 𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟.
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣.
𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟: 𝕀'𝕞 𝕤𝕠 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 🙄
Y/N clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from bursting into laughter and breaking the silence around her.
What on earth is going on?
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕎𝕆𝔸ℍℍℍℍℍℍ 𝕤𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕪
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝔾𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕊 𝕄𝔼 𝔾𝕌𝔼𝕊𝕊 𝕄𝔼
𝕐/ℕ: ℍ𝕒𝕟 𝕁𝕚𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕘. 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕒 𝕕𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕥
ℍ𝕒𝕟: ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 -
ℍ𝕒𝕟: 𝕎𝔸𝕀𝕋 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕊𝕎𝕆ℝ𝔼 𝔼𝔸ℝ𝕃𝕀𝔼ℝ
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕀'𝕞 𝕀.ℕ. 𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖𝕖𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦
𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟: ℝ𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋??? ℍ𝔼'𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℂ𝕌𝕋𝔼𝕊𝕋
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: ℍ𝔼'𝕊 𝔸𝔻𝕆ℝ𝔸𝔹𝕃𝔼
𝕊𝕖𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕞𝕚𝕟: 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕙 𝕨𝕖 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕒𝕚𝕕
𝕀.ℕ: 𝔾𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕔𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕀'𝕞 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕣𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕥
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕨𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕒 𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕡 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕥
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕚𝕟
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝔻𝕚𝕕 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕋ℍ𝔼ℝ𝔼'𝕊 𝔸ℕ 𝕀𝕄ℙ𝕆𝕊𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝕀ℕ ℍ𝔼ℝ𝔼
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: … 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕐/ℕ, ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟.
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: ℝ𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕖𝕣? 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕖𝕣?
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖?
ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟: ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕤𝕥
ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟: 𝕊𝕠 𝕨𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤
ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟: ℙ𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕝 𝕠𝕣 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕣?
ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟: 𝕀 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕣 🥰
ℍ𝕪𝕦𝕟𝕛𝕚𝕟: 𝕎𝕖’𝕕 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕒 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕞
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕀 𝔻ℝ𝕆ℙℙ𝔼𝔻 𝔸 𝕎𝔼𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 𝕆ℕ 𝕄𝕐 𝔽𝕆𝕆𝕋
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔸ℝ𝔼 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕆𝕂𝔸𝕐?
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕙 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕆𝕙 𝕨𝕒𝕚𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕡 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕥
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: 𝕀𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝕀𝕊 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕆ℕ𝔼 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕐/ℕ
𝕌𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟: ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤?
Y/N choked. She stared at the screen, Changbin's last message swimming across it like an erratic fish.
ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕓𝕚𝕟: 𝕐𝕆𝕌’ℝ𝔼 𝕊𝕋𝕀𝕃𝕃 ℕ𝕆𝕋 𝔻𝔸𝕋𝕀ℕ𝔾?
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕊𝔼𝕆 ℂℍ𝔸ℕ𝔾𝔹𝕀ℕ.
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕀𝕘𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕙𝕚𝕞, 𝕐/ℕ. ℍ𝕖'𝕤 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕝𝕪 𝕕𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕜
Are all of his friends always drunk?
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔸𝕟𝕪𝕨𝕒𝕪 … 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕒 𝕥𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕤 𝕕𝕚𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕒 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕤 𝕦𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕔 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔻𝕚𝕕 𝕨𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕓 𝕪𝕠𝕦?
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕗𝕗 𝕠𝕦𝕥
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔸𝕥 𝟛 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘???
ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕓𝕚𝕟: 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘?
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀'𝕞 𝕞𝕠𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 :)
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀𝕟 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 … 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 …
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔻𝕚𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕪𝕖𝕥?
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕀𝕥'𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕖
𝕐/ℕ: ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕡𝕠𝕡𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕟 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘???
𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨: 𝔸𝕤 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕒𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤
𝕐/ℕ: 𝔸𝕤 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕒𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 … ?
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕀'𝕞 𝕓𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕖𝕕
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕃𝕖𝕖 𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕝𝕝 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕚𝕥
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕒𝕪 𝕤𝕠, 𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 🥰
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔼𝕄𝕆𝕁𝕀 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 𝕄𝔸𝕂𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔸𝕋 𝔸ℕ𝕐 𝔹𝔼𝕋𝕋𝔼ℝ?
Her breathing was erratic in the back of the taxi. Y/N's heart hammered against her chest as she bit her lip, raising her hand and gnawing at the skin at the sides of her fingers. Her gaze was fixed on the window, her vision a constant blur as trees and buildings flashed by her; but it wasn't the speed that was distorting the images before her. It was the constant recollection of her parents’ reaction that was playing on repeat inside her mind, and had been ever since she had set foot out of their house.
Her cheek stung. It was covered by her hair, but Y/N knew the skin would be the colour of beetroot beneath it.
He responded instantly, the speed making more tears well in the pits of her eyes.
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔽𝕦𝕔𝕜, 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 …
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔸𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥?
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝔻𝕚𝕕 … 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕦𝕣𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦?
𝕐/ℕ: ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕟'𝕥 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖
𝕆𝕝𝕕 𝕄𝕒𝕟 ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤: 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦?
A moment later, her phone buzzed in the palm of her hand, the ringtone soft in her earphones. She accepted Chan's call, and his face was one of worry when he appeared on her screen.
“Let me see?” Chan whispered, his eyes wide.
Y/N bit her lip. Discreetly, she moved her head to the side, letting her hair fall away.
Chan's inhale was sharp. He didn't say anything for a while, and then, “I wish I was with you.”
Her eyes blurred again. Y/N looked down, and unable to bring herself to speak in the quiet intimacy of the car, she thumbed out a response to him instead.
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕤𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕠.
She watched as he read the message; Chan's eyes lit up briefly, and he smiled at her on her screen. Just seeing his face immediately soothed Y/N's aching heart, and she leaned her head against the car door with suddenly drooping eyes.
“You can't talk?” Chan hummed, tilting his head to the side.
𝕐/ℕ: 𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕒𝕨𝕜𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕕 … ℕ𝕠𝕥 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘.
Chan smiled. “That's okay. Want me to stay on call? You can watch me work … if you want.”
Y/N's heart fluttered at that. She nodded to him, and Chan suddenly reached out towards the screen; his fingers gently wiggled in her direction, almost as though he was tickling her injured cheek, and she couldn't help but giggle under her breath as he pulled away again, a soft smile on his face.
Chan's breathing was a steady beat in her earphones as he started to work. The frequent click-click of his mouse was a strangely comforting sound, and more than once Y/N felt as though she was about to fall asleep. His presence was like a balm to her soul after the less than ideal events from earlier on; knowing that he was just there was enough to reduce the anxiety that had been hammering at Y/N's walls, and she sunk back a little into the car seat, feeling a little warmer than she had previously.
Every now and then, Chan looked over to his phone; most of the time, Y/N was looking out of the window, her brows furrowed. But on the occasions she was watching him, he offered her a tender smile. It was all he could do … her hair had resumed its position over her cheek, but Chan caught little glimpses of it every now and then, and it set his insides on fire. He yearned to reach through his phone and somehow pull her into his arms; he yearned to settle her on his lap and to smooth his fingers through her hair and to kiss her cheek and to somehow take all of her pain away … but he couldn't, and it broke his heart.
He found himself studying her face more than focusing on her work; there was a sadness to her features, present in the soft droop of her eyes and the downturn of the corners of her mouth. But to Chan, she still looked more beautiful than anyone else he'd ever seen. Chan didn't even know what it was in particular that made her so beautiful in his eyes … the longer he looked at her, the more he internally fought to push back the thought that had been circling around the back of his mind for so long.
He had been ignoring his feelings for months, convincing himself that they were something completely different. The idea of love had always terrified the man; it was something he wasn't sure he'd ever get to experience, and especially not experience being loved by someone else.
After all, how could someone love him, when he couldn't even convince his heart to love himself?
But Chan did know one thing. As he continued to watch the way Y/N's lit up at the sight of rain spilling down the car windows, Chan felt the pressure on his heart give way as he finally accepted what he was feeling.
And it was completely and utterly frightening.
