free ice cream

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like it was expensive

hey girl awesome pussy. it looks like a shining example of your country's functional healthcare system

[sweating and taking notes] hey girl awesome pussy. it looks nuanced and complicated

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

love to sit behind my cat and give him a tiny shoulder rub like he just got back from a long day at the office. it's tax season he's a CPA. he works so hard for this family

by fomajc on instagram. im losing my shit over this

tumblr will never be the next pdf at this rate

fascinated by this screenshot where they took out the poster's username and replaced it with a very small picture of alex the lion

wait a minute

that's me. that's my post. what is this

ohhhhh okay

A Man of Few Words

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

no way i must have missed an update!

The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal

You know what to do boys

When you're out to slay.

When you're quivering in your boots.

afternoon tea with my new kettle and the mug i found with my grandmothers name on it

Maybe I don’t have anxiety. Maybe I’m so scared all the time on account of it all being so scary.

I know this is going to make me sound pretensions but I have to get it off my chest. I feel an unimaginable rage when someone posts a photo and is like "this picture looks like a renaissance painting lol" when the photo clearly has the lighting, colors and composition of a baroque or romantic painting. There are differences in these styles and those differences are important and labeling every "classical" looking painting as renaissance is annoying and upsetting to me. And anytime I come across one of those posts I have to put down my phone and go take a walk because they make me so mad

In case you're curious here's what I mean.

Renaissance(distinct lines, stability and the individual man):

Baroque (bold, chaotic, dramatic):

Romantic(romanticize the simple hard working life):

Do you see the difference?

this post has re-wired my brain in the best way

At a party and a guy was telling me about how one of his coworkers was complaining about how he thought his dealer was lacing his heroin with cocaine and then the party guy was like “but his dealer was his brother” and I said “that’s some cocaine and abel shit” and the joke flopped so hard but I stand by it so I had to share it somewhere

no cruel jokes or pranks this April 1st we should instead celebrate the better April 1 holiday

What is the better April first holiday and what does this saucy little scamp have to do with it

I can't find an article in English but essentially in France it is a common children's prank to on April Fool's put little paper fish on people's backs and it's called "poisson d'Avril" (April Fish). when i was in school in our french classes we would hide paper fish around the school as well and i took great joy in wedging mine in deeply impractical places that im honestly not sure were ever found. looking at it now, my French teachers had billed it as a Whole Separate Holiday but it actually seems more to be like a cultural in-joke/France-Specific April Fool's Prank lol whoops

regardless I like it better than some of the more mean spirited stuff I've seen associated with American April Fool's day

can't be mad at someone just taping one of these lil guys to your back right !

i love this thank you