“too small umbrella” redraw! (2025 - 2020 - 2017)

(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull

(wizard intercom) good evening passengers. this is the wizard speaking. boy do i have a treat for you

Posts that make you drop everything you're doing and open Audacity

My dreams haven't really been subtle lately.

I know most people don't care about anything unless it has to do with the U.S. but can we please start talking about the Canadian election.

Please don't vote for Poilievre. He's basically the Canadian Trump and plans to put in place laws that harm trans youth, and lots of other shit.

Please vote istg this is the only way anything will get better. Poilievre has been kissing millionaires and billionaires asses. He'll make life even harder, and he loves Trump.

Reblogs are appreciated, especially if you aren't Canadian.

Ships with height differences. Reblog if you agree

Don’t forget age difference

This is how we can trick the romance girlies into consuming boat media

NO FUCKIN WAY

April Fools day here is always funny because my dash is full of “here’s a Rick roll but it’s actually a different song” “here’s ‘do you love the color of the sky’ just kidding! It’s not the full long post!” “Here’s a drawing I made of a kitty! Just kidding! It’s two kitties and they’re best friends” and we do this unironically and completely ignoring the blood lust we all experience every year just two weeks prior

todd anderson the world

Hi! This is a rickroll. Please visit youtube dot com, type "never gonna give you up" in the search bar, then click on the first video that comes up. Thank you for your consideration.

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

gshsjb

Imagine if they find Luigi innocent and he has to go through the rest of his life as That Guy Who Got Turbodoxxed That One Time Because Everyone Thought He Was An Assassin.

#that'd be fucked up but i think he'd still end up with a whole harem afterwards so it balances out

You realise this is a weird thing to say right. Imagine if some woman got framed by the cops and her entire life and history was exposed like this while the media did everything they could do demonise her and the public just assumed she was guilty but were on her side and went out to dig up the rest, all her social media gets pawed through and analysed and memed to hell and debated and ultimately deleted, and she got out and had to live the rest of her life in the aftermath of that and people on the internet were like "yeah but random dudes all over the world want to fuck her so it balances out"

#''the aftermath'' including a constant barrage of hate saying you got away with it and calling you a killer and harassing you/your family#never being able to find a job because the second an employer googles your name they see a couple of headlines and throw your resume away#not to mention the fact that the time spent in jail leading up to trial has devastating long-term effects on your mental and physical healt#like obviously the tag is a joke but like. criminal defendants are treated with such abject inhumanity by the system and by the public#idk i think dehumanizing people is bad. sue me

I think it would be almost as bad to deal with admirers. You give your credit card to someone and they'd be like, "Dude, you're my hero, you capped that parasite like an ice cold champion of justice, I could only hope to be so cool."

And he'd be, "Listen, I'd like to think I'm pretty cool, but not for that reason, because. I didn't do it?"

And dude would be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to say that, but really."

If I were him I'd dye my hair, change my name, and leave the country if possible.

someone was turbodoxxing him again so instead of reblogging that I'll reblog this

DELETE THIS POST

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do