she is of material substance

A Victorian puzzle purse for a special someone's birthday 💌 ✨

See it unfolding here

shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me

imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances

she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched

I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he'd set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don't worry. I won't judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife

That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown

SHARING THIS WITHOUT THE UPDATE IS EVIL

TVTropes gets made fun of a lot but it is a little astonishing how consistent that wiki's voice is. It's a great wiki to go to if you want to simulate having one specific autistic fifteen-year-old computer nerd infodump to you about any piece of media that exists. To be clear I am saying this as an overwhelmingly positive thing

probably the most accurate reblog I’ll have

It’s insane how many organs will just Make Rocks if left up to their own devices. Kidneys. Gall bladder. Pancreas. Tonsils, what’s that about???

"How can platonic BDSM be a thing". It's whatever Sam Reich is doing to his friends on Game Changer actually.

Come on investors, tumblr perfec t for buying with mpney investment. Very legitimate and profitable investors gain huge internet clout because good site and user base profitable for investor memes. Tumblr yes a place for investors money put money in Tumblr can trust Tumblr user for giveing good legiticmatecy. Friend Tumblr investors money

Please look at this.

That Lenin line hit me like a bus

tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

bruh

although I find both institutions detestable I think they should force the vatican to compete in the Olympics. let's see what those priests can do

The back of an embroidered piece is the same creature as the code of a website btw

"Do it scared" is out. "Do it in a fugue so dense as to barely be penetrable by uncertainty" is in.

Speaking of porn logistics, another personal favourite bit of fuckery is when an artist draws a picture containing multiple dicks, then produces a separate alt for every possible ejaculatory configuration, like there are four dicks and sixteen alts such that there's a version where only dick A is jizzing, a version where only dick B is jizzing, a version where dicks A and B but not C are jizzing, and so forth. I'm imagining some high-class dick connoisseur with exquisitely rarefied tastes out there like "yes, I want to see this character getting jizzed on, but only by the dick on the far left – the other dicks can wait their turn".

Some day I'm going to write a spy thriller where it turns out that the conspirators are sending coded messages via those E-Hentai galleries full of endless microscopically differing jizz alts, where each image contains four dicks and each dick serves as a one-bit component of a hexadecimal encoding.

Brb gotta encode national secrets into my hentai art

Hey fun facts that are fun together :

* as a reverse engineer, I have worked on extracting these sorts of arts from hentai games.

* the game art does this sort of thing so that the story can toggle between different versions. Maybe you didn't get enough Friendship Points with Tgirl Jessica, so she's not ejaculating in this picture.

* the games are often smarter about this than the galleries: instead of storing every combination of ejaculating/not-ejaculating, they store 1 base image, then separate per-dick ejaculatory overlays. So if you've got 4 dicks, this means they have 5 images instead of all 16 possibilities. But this makes no sense in an image gallery, so you have to compose the images together. You'd think all-off and all-on are the only options you need, but some people are content maximalists. (it's possible site policies regarding quotas and stuff is encouraging this behavior).

* around the same time I was working on tools to extract images from hentai games, I also was working on tools to steganographically hide files inside images, in several ways. This was in part because I was working with 4chan at the time and helping them catch files hidden inside images, because channers were turning 4chan into an arbitrary file sharing site (is it a jpeg or a neutral milk hotel album? It's both!), using it to bypass filtering/moderation (you put an image inside an image and now you can't see the internal image unless you extract it. Maybe it breaks the rules. Breaking the rules on /b/ is very bad), or hiding viruses in there (viruses that then post themselves back to 4chan and the cycle continues!)

* This is also when I worked for the US government

So all those facts put together, I'll just say that IF it turns out secret government agents were hiding confidential information encoded into the images of hentai game ejaculations galleries, then... it was me, and I did it back in 2009.

Foone Turing, the trans Ian Fleming for the digital age.

all i want is to get hellsitegeneticsed. i want to know what kind of creature my post is. god i want it to be something cool sooooooooo bad do you think they have the genetic code for werewolves

String identified: aattgttgtcattatcattgattttgcattatgtcc

Closest match: fucking badass werewolf Common name: hell yeahhhh

We need shittable cities (actively maintained public restrooms).

A city without well-maintained restrooms is a city where many of the chronically ill cannot leave their homes, and where the homeless are criminalized for bodily functions. If I had a nickel for every day I haven’t gone somewhere with friends because I didn’t know the bathroom situation, I’d have enough to put in a sock and beat a couple of billionaires to death.

I literally can't visit Seattle anymore for this reason. I am glad I didn't move there.

American Restroom Association does a lot of good advocacy for things like this, and Project for Sanitation Justice maps out public toilets in the San Diego area. This article has a few more suggestions for places to start.

And for the people who seem convinced that leaving bathrooms open 24/7 is dangerous, you know what else is dangerous? Cholera.

Other people who need public restrooms: