youre so fuckign right

I know that’s kind of the go-to thing to show that a vampire character is “one of the good ones” or whatever but it actually seems a little bit more fucked up for a vampire to steal blood from a blood bank than for a vampire to attack people for blood, at least as long as it’s not the kind of vampire where a bite is instantly lethal like it never stops bleeding. 

People can recover from losing some blood but blood bank blood is constantly in short supply and is reserved for people who imminently need blood transfusion of a specific blood type or else they die.

I also hate the “I can just substitute human blood with animal blood” like the whole idea of vampirism sort of hinges on the fact the only thing you can feed off of are humans.

YOU get it

Once you start having vampires subsist on animals, well, like, so do humans. In fact the average human probably eats more animals per year than most of the animal-blood-drinking vampires I’ve seen depicted.

That’s not a vampire, all you’ve written is an immortal superhuman who subsists on…food, even if it’s a bit undercooked. That’s a fucking elf.

Some of y’all’s ideas of other options for “ethical” vampires is insane.

“Ethical vampires should feed on criminals.” So it is ethical for a person to get death penalty without trial and/or to be literally consumed by other citizens as punishment for a crime? That’s the prison-industrial complex.

If you’re thinking about adding a comment on this post that outlines some way that vampires could actually be totally ethical, don’t:

1. I heard it before, twice.

2. You’re wrong. Don’t take this as a challenge, you’ve already failed and you’re wrong because

3. Even if you come up with something ethical, which you probably still didn’t, you’re missing the point of vampires!

@reading-comp-posting

I think the DESPERATION yet utter failure to find an ethical means of vampirism when confronted with this post is part of like, a wider trend in the culture of this website or fandom in general or something of complete black&white thinking on morality and also probably Puritanism.

I think somebody should write an essay on this instead of the next comment they’re about to make about how vampires should just feed on cops or politicians or billionaires or criminals or consenting victims (all of which present some pretty serious ethical problems that nobody has apparently considered!)

In your desperate need to find a means for vampires to exist totally without harm to anyone else, in these scenarios you posit, y’all have created so many more ethical problems, all while patting yourself on the back.

Bad Ethics Commented on this Post Masterpost

Great story ideas, terrible ethics.

“Don’t worry guys, there’s this type of person called a ‘bad person’, and if we just kill enough of them everything will be alright!”

“Vampires should just feed off of: [whatever human beings I can most comfortabley other]!”

Criminals

>Prison-industrial complex, already addressed this, already happening IRL.

>Would lead to more “tough on crime” bills like the war on drugs to put more and more people in prison so vampires never run out of food.

Cops

>Particularly hard targets.

>Always armed.

>Always in radio contact with other cops.

>Deaths more likely to be seriously investigated.

>City just hires more cops.

>Resulting moral panic from random attacks on cops easily spun towards more police funding, more heavily armed police, curfews, blame shifted onto minorities.

Politicians & Billionares

>Surrounded by security 24/7. Fucking untouchable if they’re anybody who’s anybody.

>Money&power just goes to the next guy in line.

>Start reading again from the top.

Nazis

>Start reading again from the top.

Landlords

>Start reading again from the top.

All of the Above

>Vampires live forever and always gotta be drinking blood. Who do they eat when they run out of bad people?

>How many provably irredeemable Nazis are there really?

>How long before they start justifying anyone with a dubious tweet from 6 years ago?

“Vampires should just pay people to give them blood!”

>Society’s most desperate and poor people forced to sell part of their body to ‘earn a living’.

>Already a thing IRL.

“Vampires should just find kinky goths who get off from having their blood drunk!”

>Vampires essentially sex workers then.

>What if your every meal had to be filmed and the uploaded as a mukbang fetish video on pornhub

>What if your every meal relied on the next horny John coming around to get his neck bitten

>Ugly vampires starve.

“Vampires should drink from a consenting partner!”

>Relationship is literally draining.

>“You can’t break up with me, I’ll starve.”

>“You can’t break up with me, you’ll starve.”

>Ugly vampires starve.

“Vampires should steal from blood banks!”

>Already addressed this.

“Vampires should drink blood from animals because animal blood is not biologically different from human blood!”

>Fuck

>off

“There should be blood donation drives for vampires!”

>Actually, pretty good.

>Unfortnately, we can’t even supply enough donated blood for the existing IRL mortals who need it.

>What does a vampire do when their gofundme is $20 short?

Conclusion

All of these, as well as whatever other attempt at “solving” vampirism anyone else is going to inevitably comment in response, fail to provide a feasible way for a vampire to ethically drink human blood. However, they’re almost there, just barely brushing past the point, which is that vampires are unethical. Instead of a problem to be solved in worldbuidling, this is the ideal springboard for a story that says something about fucking society! Good stories aren’t about utopian societies or perfect people–unless those utopian societies and perfection are a lie–they’re about societies and people with problems and who cause problems! Vampires are a curse, they exists to cause problems, you take that from them in your story and they’re nothing. If you instead embrace how characters–even as protagonists–cause problems, you might actually stumble onto a theme or two.

These are genuinely excellent and thought out points! I’m going to come back to this post whenever I’m writing or thinking about vampires & vampirethics.

Now I’ll chime in completely unhelpfully with, if the rule is that the vampire can only gain sustenance from humans but the fluid doesn’t matter, they should eat via blowjob.

I really should’ve read that last one before I reblogged.

Photo: Me, wondering what I just saw happen here, moments before searching for, “melting point of the hardest element in a phone”.

They need to make both styles of ballet unisex so that ballets can be gayer and you know it

On that note, I think a Locked Tomb ballet would go crazy but yall aren't ready for that vision yet-

bye i love this

Man: Siri, what is 1 trillion to the tenth power? Siri: Calculation. The answer is one zero zero zero zero zero [continuing] Man: *starts beatboxing to the rhythm. Woman 1: *joins in* Woman 2: *starts singing to the rhythm*

This is sO GOOD

never gets old

I could listen to this on loop for hours.

A correct to the transcript:

The man is beat boxing. The first woman joined in with jathiswaram. The second woman starts alap/alapanai.

I refuse to be sad and grumpy about it. I have a soup to make.

nature has never been binary

gynandromorph stag beetle; an organism with both female & male characteristics 🩵🩷

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

i’d reblog this even if it was a still image

I know it’s a sesame street clip but seriously, who is the target audience for this?

Parents watching it with their kids, I guess?

literally everyone

Everyone. No, really… everyone.

For adults, the appeal is Sir Patrick Stewart doing a kid’s educational bit in full Shakespearean dress and style; there’s a delightful cognitive dissonance between the very serious presentation and the very simple content.

For very small children, it’s educational: this is the letter “B”; here’s how it’s shaped; here’s some words you know that start with it. Oh, and here’s a word you may not be familiar with that starts with it, so you can recognize that it’s the sound that matters, and not whatever other connection you made between the other two words.

For older kids: you’ve probably heard that “to be or not to be?” speech, or at least part of it, so you can enjoy some of the parody the adults are watching. Also, here’s how to describe how a letter is made - how to teach young siblings who don’t read yet, how to explain both the shape and the sound.

For kids with dyslexia: here’s how you differentiate a “B” from a P or D or E. You may have to go slowly and look carefully at the exact shapes that make up the whole, but there are differences and you can learn to recognize them. 

For teens or young college students: In addition to whichever parts of those are relevant to you, here’s what Shakespearean acting sounds like. Here’s how to enunciate clearly and slowly, so your audience can understand terms they may not recognize and still follow the gist of what you’re saying. If you’re reading Shakespeare in school, try sounding it out like this and see if that helps it make sense.

For new RenFaire workers: Here’s how to pronounce “zounds.” 

One of the most glorious things in the world is Shakespearean actors doing stuff like this.

He’s taking this performance as seriously as he does when he’s doing actual Shakespeare 🥺

This is how I learned to pronounce “zounds”

DON'T BELIEVE MAINSTREAM MEDIA

WASPS ARE OUR FRIENDS

me, really bravely Not Crying as i leave the office:

The happy lil tail 🥹🐈🐈

black with low white spotting

KIKI'S DELIVERY SERVICE 1989 — dir. Hayao Miyazaki