@switchelsweets our literal conversation the other day

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PICTURE OF ME

curious to hear y'all's suggestions for the worst possible pasta shape

(Assume that "pasta" needs to be made of sheets or strands of dough with enough surface area relative to thickness so that they can be cooked.)

I was going to suggest fettuccini but twisted with the ends connected to form a Möbius strip, but then I realized that would fuck like hell.

@fishofthewoods I did NOT expect to get such a strong contender so early.

@alilcajun @aralioideae

a couple of challengers emerge

You are all fucking madmen

DELETE THIS POST

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do

Ikrit almost spat out his smoothie XD

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

People have known this for decades

me but im in australia

Disabled lives are not inherently filled with suffering and when they are it’s usually because someone put it there.

why are cyberpunk tabletop things so obsessed with decency and personhood being tied to how many surgeries you haven’t had

“if you have a prosthetic it takes out a part of your soul” like thanks shadowrun

in early cyberpunk, the point was more along the lines of “if we integrate technology into our bodies we risk becoming dependent upon the people and institutions who control that technology, who would then use that to enrich themselves at our expense”

unfortunately that was too anti-corporate for American mainstream culture so as cyberpunk moved out of its niche it became “uhhh it eats your soul I guess”

tags by @rubyvroom: 

#this is important context #if you weren’t around at the time it is easy to miss but #anti-corporate sentiment was pretty much the lynchpin of cyberpunk until there were movies and games making money off it #it was the 1980s you guys #the entire point was that corporations are evil and technology should be used to circumvent them and escape their control over our lives #and not be used to make ourselves into another product #now that the internet is entirely monetized and corporate it’s harder to remember that originally it was synonymous w freedom & independence

Yes, exactly. Cyberpunk is anti-corporations, not anti-body-modification.

#the real horror is medical debt ( tag via @bronanlynch )

@ta5tier

Remember that lady who had her brain implant that helped her know when a seizure was incoming removed because the company who ran the clinical trial went bust?

❗️GAME TIP❗️you can take your autistic girlfriend to the aquarium to stare at fish🐟🐠

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

WAIT NO THIS IS GLORIOUS

I have the most wonderful watercolor fairytale movie playing in my head right now from this interpretation, well done all.

Daniel Sloss- “Jigsaw”

ROMANTIC LOVE IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN PLATONIC LOVE!!!

[Image description: Images of Daniel Sloss doing a stand up routine from a Netflix special. He says: “My best friend in the whole wide world is a woman called Jean. We’ve been best friends for about eight or nine years. A lot of people don’t believe it’s platonic, but it is, the idea of each other naked makes us both very sad. But we love each other, we do, we’ve just been together through most things. Two months into my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, she was like, “Sometimes, I feel like you love Jean more than me.” And I was like, “Baby, no! … All the time! Every hour of every day I love her more than I love you. Because she’s put the ground work in. You don’t get to suck a dick and go number one, you sociopath.” End description]

The best part about turning 30 was, legitimately, unlocking the ability to use this image

my favorite scene in LotR as a kid was when Sam started miserably freestyling in the tower of Cirith Ungol and the only reason he ever found Frodo was because he deliriously tried to join in

…i did read some of the novels, but i couldn’t get through them entirely…

…and so i genuinely have no idea whether or not this is serious. coz i mean, obviously, it could be a joke. but it could also have legitimately happened. people who have only seen the films underestimate the amount of random things that happen in the books that could come off as utterly silly and ridiculous if removed from their context.

Haha, well, it is pretty much what happens. Sam is looking for Frodo in the tower of Cirith Ungol and is despairing that he will ever find him. He sits down and does what any self-respecting Tolkien character does during their moments of hopelessness and bursts into song.

It’s a really good song (ten year old Ship had it memorized) and as he begins the refrain a second time, he hears Frodo’s voice answering weakly from above. Frodo is poisoned and despairing and beaten but he is still a Hobbit and cannot resist a singalong even while on the brink of death.

I just have to reblog because it makes me laugh EVERY TIME

“No weapon forged by mortal hands can slay me!” hits you with a rock

Do robots count as mortal? If not you could also use a car

Wait…very few weapons are forged by hand these days. Just use a damn gun

#or one of those-mall swords “No weapon forged by mortal hands can slay me” “This is a 30 dollar wallhanger from the flea market, it’s about as far from forged by hand as it gets” 

comic by @tredlocity​ !

https://twitter.com/tomwalkerisgood/status/1383244162246463490?s=20

running errands like kurt vonnegut

⬆️ like so

what's the first movie you remember seeing in theaters? don't try and be all edgy and cool and say like tetsuo: the iron man. be honest.

Go!!