this may be the stupidest thing ive made

duke vs jason tumblr beef

The thing about superhero comics fandom is that you can't really usefully deploy the They Would Not Fucking Say That meme for any of the big names. The problem with writing a character who's nearly a century old and has been written by seventy-odd different people – and that's just counting the ones who had the IP owner's official blessing – is that they would, and most likely they did.

"Batman would never say that" which Batman? Ed Brubaker's Batman? Paul Dini's Batman? Frank Miller's Batman? We've got a lot of Batmen to cover before we can establish that Batman would, in fact, never say that – how much time have you got?

the Ides of March grows near

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

likes to charge, reblogs to cast

Abolish Tesla.

Elon uses his overvalued Tesla stock as collateral for all his loans.

If the stock price crashes, banks will ask for their money back.

The Twitter deal alone would break him - twitter has tanked in value, he couldn't sell it to pay off his loans.

Please, oh please. Not just well deserved karma, it would be so fucking funny.

well, well, well ^_^

January 27 ($397.15) to February 26 ($290.80)

✨Like to charge and reblog to cast✨

So You Want To Read Batman Comics But Have No Idea Where To Start

So: you’re new to the DC Comics fandom and are interested in Batman and his family. Maybe you already know a bit about them and are just looking to figure out where to start reading actual comics. Maybe you know nothing. Maybe you know a whole lot about one character but want to start reading more about another one.

Whichever it is, I’m here to help! There’s a wide range of Batman/Batfamily comics (for all ages, moods, and types of people), and I’m happy to meet people where they are and help people dive into comics. On that note, brace yourselves, because this is going to be a long post. Recs start under the cut.

—IMPORTANT NOTES ABOUT READING COMICS—

Superhero comics are traditionally written in what’s known as runs; an author gets to have an extended period on an ongoing (or limited) title where they (traditionally) write in 4-8 issue story arcs; think of these arcs as chapters in a potentially never-ending book. These individual issues are colloquially known as floppies. So when I talk about “Tom Taylor’s run” on the Nightwing title, for example, I’m talking about the (as of now) current writer, who’s been the main author on the Nightwing title since March 2021 and whose story arcs begin with Nightwing #78. Every so often, titles end, the principal author on the titles switch up, or they’ll have “guest/interim authors” come in to do single issues or a single story arc.

These story arcs are then collected in hardcovers or ‘trade paperbacks’ (generally referred to as trades, occasionally TPBs); both collect the entire story arc (plus bonus/behind the scenes material, in some cases) in a single paperback/hardback book. Trades are super useful if you want to read an entire story at one time, want to be economical about your comics spending, and/or want to read things in order. Occasionally, if a writer has a particularly long run on a title or a big company event happens, you get published omnibuses that collect an entire event or run (or part of it, if the event is big enough); omnis are very expensive up-front, but ultimately they tend to be good deals and are often curated well. These collections are all generally also released digitally. Frankly, unless you’re into comics collecting, want individual issues for their pretty covers, or are supporting a currently ongoing run, I would default to buying trades/omnibuses where possible. It’s simply cheaper and easier for reading.

List Notes: Each character list is sorted vaguely chronologically according to a combination of IRL publication dates and the character’s personal timeline. Big caveat that these are not all-inclusive reading lists nor are the inclusions inherently indicators of quality; I’m just trying to hit major character highlights. You should also note that many comics contain multiple Batfam members due to the ridiculous number of crossover events and the solid integration of the Batfamily as a whole into each others’ books in the post-90s era. Comic rec tl;drs are given at the end of each character’s list. Most of the links will take you to Amazon/Comixology, but I also talk about various ways to access and read comics at the bottom of this post.

Secondary Note: DC Comics works in three universes: the pre-Crisis universe (everything published from the beginning of DC Comics until the Crisis on Infinite Earths event in 1986), the post-Crisis universe (everything published between 1986 and 2011), and the post-Flashpoint universe (2011-now). 

In 2011, DC completely rebooted their universe following the ‘Flashpoint’ event. This new universe (interchangably called the New 52 universe, post-Flashpoint universe, or Prime Earth) drastically changed many characters’ histories, personalities, and relationships with each other (sometimes for the better, most of the time for the worse). The early years of the post-Flashpoint universe are an absolute incoherent mess continuity-wise; DC’s been trying to sort it all out over the past few years with the Rebirth and Infinite Frontier events (with varying degrees of success), and there are definitely some bright bits and pieces, but it is not my favored universe (though I will certainly recommend it where needed or when it’s good). 

Now: let’s get started, shall we? Lists below the cut (please click here to view the most updated version of this post on desktop via my blog instead of on mobile/the dashboard, for easy readability and formatting purposes):

Keep reading

please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

"a viscous murder" yeah i don't want to know what that could look like

it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919

#and vice versa btw#i don’t know what a vicious fluid would be like#and i don’t want to find out

it looks like the Boston Molassacre of 1919

So I had the strangest dream this weekend and nobody understands me so I need to share it with you because you might. Press J to skip this post if you can’t deal, I will accept this.

In my dream I was standing on the back deck of a rural cabin that overlooked a beautiful Vermont/Scottish Highlands landscape of unspoiled wilderness. It was a crisp, perfect autumn morning. I held a cup of cooling coffee in my hands as I leaned against the railing and scanned the perfect rolling hills in the midground, behind which the great patterned mountains with their snowcaps marched on until they blended with the horizon: #aesthetic

As I gazed at a distant meadow clearing in the trees, a pair of brightly coloured humanoid creatures emerged from the woods and began to dance for each other. It was an esoteric, beautiful mating dance, a strange combination of instinct and choreography. I felt awe washing over me. I marvelled. I felt a deep sense of wonder and peace as I observed this vanishingly rare encounter that I had never thought to observe in person. These animals were instantly recognisable but had never been studied in the wild. I felt incredibly humbled and privileged to witness this behaviour - I knew that I was the first human witness to observe this behaviour - and I reached for my phone, wondering if I should film it, so it could join the scholarly record, where it NEEDED to be. This could change everything. But then I held back - something told me “no,” to let the creatures have their privacy.

Ok, I can’t go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies.

A red one and a yellow one. I know. I know. Stay with me here.

The cryptids melted back into the woods. My subconscious drew a discreet veil over the rest of their mating ritual, but I knew instinctively that this had been a dance of courtship. I was busy pondering the implications, because they were critical. You see, although the creatures were instantly recognisable as Teletubbies, as I had studied them, even at a distance, I had an incredible realisation.

They were adult Teletubbies.

This realisation dawned on me and in my dream I understood it fully. The ones that we know of - the captive ones that we have seen on television - are juveniles. In fact, they are the equivalent of toddlers. When you see the adults this becomes obvious. The garbled speech and silly movements of the four captive Teletubbies we know are the babbles of babyhood, a private primal toddler-language brewed up between sentient beings who have never encountered an adult of their own kind.

The adult Teletubbies have more branching, complex antlers and shaggy coats. They are less brightly coloured. They are terrifyingly large. Their strangely human faces, emerging from the thick fur, are unquestionably adult; remote, serene, reproachful. Their television screens are glitchy, esoteric and unknowable. They are cryptids whose public exploitation has undermined their rarity and their strange, alien dignity.

In my dream my feelings of awe and peace turned to great sadness at the fate of the captive toddler Teletubbies. I realised that I had to be the scientist who brought this discovery to the world and raised awareness of their plight. And I also questioned: are Teletubbies like axolotls? Do they exhibit neoteny? (Axolotls, the cute aquarium pets with flaring gills, are actually juveniles of an amphibious species - if given the right conditions they’ll grow up into land-dwelling black newts. But they can breed in their aquatic juvenile form, and most spend their whole lives in this form. Deprived of their wild potential, will the Teletubbies ever mature? Or are they merely experiencing a long childhood, natural for a species that is unimaginably long-lived?)

So in my dream my husband came out onto the back deck and I began to share these discoveries with him and before I could even bring up the axolotls he just said “what the fucking fuck” and went away again.

I woke up disgruntled and unable to capture the feeling of peace and sadness. I then tried to explain this to my husband in the waking world, and he said “what the fucking fuck” and walked away before I even got to the explanation of the Teletubbies being toddlers, which just goes to show that you never know someone as well as you think you do.

Anyway I’m sure you guys will join me in this knowledge. And also I’ve googled it and apparently the Teletubbies reboot features infant Teletubbies, so clearly they are getting more from somewhere and the time to question this is NOW

I have a personal theory that how a dream makes you feel is more meaningful than the content.

What I got from your dream was a sense of wonder and privilege (the good kind), followed by the need to bear witness and advocate for the cryptids. Topped off with a disturbingly accurate example of the attitudes you’d face.

(staring nobly into the distance) yes. yes, you understand. you understand.

I’m so sorry but this is what came to mind and so this is what I drew

Holy

Thank you so much for sharing that dream, it was EXACTLY what I needed to stop feeling like shit. Now I, too, am honored by the knowledge of adult teletubbies.

Here’s my take on this lovely cryptid.

WHOA I’m sorry I missed this. this is magnificent. the feet and hands are really spooky. it definitely fills me with the Fear.

So I spent the last few hours drawing and animating this and I cannot believe I did so enjoy I’m gonna pass out and probably deal with similar dreams now 

Yes, this is definitely the Fear. 

ayo here’s my two cents :D Thanks for the inspo, friendo

idk how old this flippin is but I was like HEY BEAR CUB BABIES and as they get older they’re some mixture of moose, grizzley and megatherium (giant, ancient sloth). 

!!!!!!!!!!

@copperbadge for cryptid theories?

I can’t go any further without telling you that they were Teletubbies DEVASTATED ME.  

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

[From Max Landis’ amazing “American Alien” series about Superman.] SO GOOD

SCREAM 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 SO EVERYONE 👏🏻 CAN 👏🏻 HEAR

His shit eating grin in the last one sells it

I love the idea of Clark Kent turning up to every office Halloween party in an ill-fitting Superman costume from Target.

Still one of my favorite clips from Superman: The Animated Series.

This has gotten bigger since I last saw it ant that’s FANTASTIC

Henry Cavill literally once stood in Time Square, in a superman t-shirt, under a giant poster of himself and no one recognised him, even though he was actively trying to be recognised.

I’ve never seen this post but it just became my favorite post on the internet

Wanna know the kicker?

In the first chapter of JLA’s “Divided We Fall Arc” both Clark and Bruce reveal their civilian identities to the rest of the League. This is post “Tower of Babel” where nobody but Clark still trusts Batman, and in order to start building trust again, Clark urges Bruce to unmask himself to the rest of the team because Bruce obviously knows who everyone else is. Bruce agrees on one condition, Clark has to “unmask” himself as well.

When the big reveal goes down, Kyle Rayner says it best re: Clark being Superman: “He doesn’t…wear a mask. I never even…thought he had a…day job…”

That’s right, the canon reason why nobody makes the connection between Superman and Clark Kent is because nobody thinks that Superman HAS a civilian identity.

Also, with a really good actor, Clark Kenting is entirely possible, as Christopher Reeve demonstrates in the 1978 Superman film.

There was actually a story where a scientist at Lexcorp developed a computer program to analyse all available evidence and work out who Superman is

It figured out he was Clark…and Lex fired the scientist for wasting company resources because he COULDN’T BELIEVE that Superman would ever “Pretend” to be human because it would mean pretending to be “Weak”

90% of Superman’s disguise is everyone else doing the work for him

the best secret identity of all.

what @mercy-angel-09 said

dc comics heritage post

after a thread of superhero analysis, “in the word of Keanu” hit me like a fucking truck

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

Like to charge, reblog to cast

Bob is made by Japanese artist Ahnitol! He holds pens! He comes in many colors!

some of you have GOT to get comfortable with lying and situational morality and i'm not kidding