Gay

My problem with heterosexual romance novels (which I am reading under duress due to my coworker book club but find somewhat entertaining cuz they're not something I normally wld read) is that whenever the love interest is an asshole the author also makes him all dommy dom. when what I really want is for him to be thoroughly put in his place. All of these shithead Christian grey knockoff guys in these books would be excellent brat material but nobody cares what I want. Nobody cares what I want

"if tumblr dies you can find me on bluesky" "if tumblr dies you can find me on Instagram" if tumblr dies you cannot find me. It's over. I'm free.

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

Any guy can be babygirl but it takes a real man to be a mother

(this post is about Dan and Phil)

my mum was googling for an article about why everyone in the lord of the rings film is white (like to be clear she was annoyed by this) and the google ai was apparently like “everybody in the lord of the rings is not white. gandalf is grey.”

OHHHHHH YES THIS IS SO PERFECT I LOVE YOU THANK YOUUUUUU

>sees post about strange and unusual fetishes

>posts conventionally attractive carnivorous plant

it's a maw on a stem who wouldn't want that 😵‍💫

Here at the Host Club we account for every possible taste in men: blond, evil, tall, babey, two of them, and girls

people are so mean about horror movie victims like. sorry but if i had gone to a cabin in the woods with my friends as a teenager you couldn't have stopped us from reading aloud from the evil tome. how were they supposed to know the ancient curse was real they're like 17

imagine complaining about horror as a genre and admitting you wish all horror was just cozy romance stories… bestie you can just read cozy romance stories? that genre exists and it’s literally there for you to engage with? go watch a hallmark movie

I love the conjuring, but what if there was a movie like the conjuring with its cool filming style and good writing but instead of a family moving into a haunted house its a witch moving into a cute cottage in the Alps with her cat

​lookin right down both barrels of that thang

the tags on this post do not disappoint

This is the funniest shit that has happened to me on tumblr thank you for making me laugh mystery hater and hateie

Saw my first cyber truck irl and pointed and laughed when I passed and she was FURIOUS frowning with her entire face shaking her head holy shit I feel like I just did a line

Idk i understand why people are bullies now it felt so good

i was/am at mardi gras and a cybertruck rolled past during one of the parades and i booed it really loud before i could catch myself and i got a fist bump out of it and others started booing , and honestly if it was possible to put that feeling in a capsule id put it in my butt

wait what?

BRING HIM BACK

oh thank goodness

Hes back!

Tip: you can microwave stale croissant for 15-20 seconds and it will become soft and warm and nice. Cut it open, put butter in it. Peace and love

Tip: you can refrigerate stale croissant for 3-6 hours and it will become mushy and cold and unpleasant. It won't cut well, so just put a big clump of cold, hard butter on it. Strife and hatred.

Tip: you can do nothing to a stale croissant for any arbitrary length of time and it will remain as is. Do not cut it, or add butter. Stasis and stagnation.

Keep up the great work, lads

I love how this addition would be absolutely incomprehensible almost anywhere else but we know exactly what it means