love like a sunset

@writemares / writemares.tumblr.com

writeblr for young adult & new adult works. contemporary, sci fi & fantasy.
an apocalyptic novel about two teens struggling to survive as both power dynamics and the weather changes dramatically. editing/second draft to start in december. young adult, f/f.
a dark modern retelling of peter pan featuring pan as the leader of a drug-dealing gang and wendy as his arch-nemesis. new adult, m/f.
a twisted fairytale of female knights, princes in distress, cunning sorcerers and deceptive courtiers. adult, f/f, m/f & m/m

𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖘 ↬ outlining

a found-footage style comedic horror following a reality-dating show gone wrong. adult, f/f, m/f & m/m.

Words for Skin Tone | How to Describe Skin Color

We discussed the issues describing People of Color by means of food in Part I of this guide, which brought rise to even more questions, mostly along the lines of “So, if food’s not an option, what can I use?” Well, I was just getting to that!

This final portion focuses on describing skin tone, with photo and passage examples provided throughout. I hope to cover everything from the use of straight-forward description to the more creatively-inclined, keeping in mind the questions we’ve received on this topic.

Standard Description

Basic Colors

Pictured above: Black, Brown, Beige, White, Pink.

“She had brown skin.”

  • This is a perfectly fine description that, while not providing the most detail, works well and will never become cliché.
  • Describing characters’ skin as simply brown or beige works on its own, though it’s not particularly telling just from the range in brown alone.

Complex Colors

These are more rarely used words that actually “mean” their color. Some of these have multiple meanings, so you’ll want to look into those to determine what other associations a word might have.

Pictured above: Umber, Sepia, Ochre, Russet, Terra-cotta, Gold, Tawny, Taupe, Khaki, Fawn.

  • Complex colors work well alone, though often pair well with a basic color in regards to narrowing down shade/tone.

For example: Golden brown, russet browntawny beige

  • As some of these are on the “rare” side, sliding in a definition of the word within the sentence itself may help readers who are unfamiliar with the term visualize the color without seeking a dictionary.

“He was tall and slim, his skin a russet, reddish-brown.”

  • Comparisons to familiar colors or visuals are also helpful:

“His skin was an ochre color, much like the mellow-brown light that bathed the forest.”

Modifiers

Modifiers, often adjectives, make partial changes to a word.The following words are descriptors in reference to skin tone.

Dark - Deep - Rich - Cool

Warm - Medium - Tan

Fair - Light - Pale

Rich Black, Dark brown, Warm beige, Pale pink…

If you’re looking to get more specific than “brown,” modifiers narrow down shade further.

  • Keep in mind that these modifiers are not exactly colors.
  • As an already brown-skinned person, I get tan from a lot of sun and resultingly become a darker, deeper brown. I turn a pale, more yellow-brown in the winter.
  • While best used in combination with a color, I suppose words like “tan” “fair” and “light” do work alone; just note that tan is less likely to be taken for “naturally tan” and much more likely a tanned White person.
  • Calling someone “dark” as description on its own is offensive to some and also ambiguous. (See: Describing Skin as Dark)

Undertones

Undertones are the colors beneath the skin, seeing as skin isn’t just one even color but has more subdued tones within the dominating palette.

pictured above: warm / earth undertones: yellow, golden, copper, olive, bronze, orange, orange-red, coral | cool / jewel undertones: pink, red, blue, blue-red, rose, magenta, sapphire, silver. 

  • Mentioning the undertones within a character’s skin is an even more precise way to denote skin tone.
  • As shown, there’s a difference between say, brown skin with warm orange-red undertones (Kelly Rowland) and brown skin with cool, jewel undertones (Rutina Wesley).

“A dazzling smile revealed the bronze glow at her cheeks.”

“He always looked as if he’d ran a mile, a constant tinge of pink under his tawny skin.”

Standard Description Passage

“Farah’s skin, always fawn, had burned and freckled under the summer’s sun. Even at the cusp of autumn, an uneven tan clung to her skin like burrs. So unlike the smooth, red-brown ochre of her mother, which the sun had richened to a blessing.”

-From my story “Where Summer Ends” featured in Strange Little Girls

  1. Here the state of skin also gives insight on character.
  2. Note my use of “fawn” in regards to multiple meaning and association. While fawn is a color, it’s also a small, timid deer, which describes this very traumatized character of mine perfectly.

Though I use standard descriptions of skin tone more in my writing, at the same time I’m no stranger to creative descriptions, and do enjoy the occasional artsy detail of a character.

Creative Description

Whether compared to night-cast rivers or day’s first light…I actually enjoy seeing Characters of Colors dressed in artful detail.

I’ve read loads of descriptions in my day of white characters and their “smooth rose-tinged ivory skin”, while the PoC, if there, are reduced to something from a candy bowl or a Starbucks drink, so to actually read of PoC described in lavish detail can be somewhat of a treat.

Still, be mindful when you get creative with your character descriptions. Too many frills can become purple-prose-like, so do what feels right for your writing when and where. Not every character or scene warrants a creative description, either. Especially if they’re not even a secondary character.

Using a combination of color descriptions from standard to creative is probably a better method than straight creative. But again, do what’s good for your tale.

Natural Settings - Sky

Pictured above: Harvest Moon -Twilight, Fall/Autumn Leaves, Clay, Desert/Sahara, Sunlight - Sunrise - Sunset - Afterglow - Dawn- Day- Daybreak, Field - Prairie - Wheat, Mountain/Cliff, Beach/Sand/Straw/Hay.

  • Now before you run off to compare your heroine’s skin to the harvest moon or a cliff side, think about the associations to your words.
  • When I think cliff, I think of jagged, perilous, rough. I hear sand and picture grainy, yet smooth. Calm. mellow.
  • So consider your character and what you see fit to compare them to.
  • Also consider whose perspective you’re describing them from. Someone describing a person they revere or admire may have a more pleasant, loftier description than someone who can’t stand the person.

“Her face was like the fire-gold glow of dawn, lifting my gaze, drawing me in.”

“She had a sandy complexion, smooth and tawny.”

  • Even creative descriptions tend to draw help from your standard words.

Flowers

Pictured above: Calla lilies, Western Coneflower, Hazel Fay, Hibiscus, Freesia, Rose

  • It was a bit difficult to find flowers to my liking that didn’t have a 20 character name or wasn’t called something like “chocolate silk” so these are the finalists. 
  • You’ll definitely want to avoid purple-prose here.
  • Also be aware of flowers that most might’ve never heard of. Roses are easy, as most know the look and coloring(s) of this plant. But Western coneflowers? Calla lilies? Maybe not so much.

“He entered the cottage in a huff, cheeks a blushing brown like the flowers Nana planted right under my window. Hazel Fay she called them, was it?”

Assorted Plants & Nature

Pictured above: Cattails, Seashell, Driftwood, Pinecone, Acorn, Amber

  • These ones are kinda odd. Perhaps because I’ve never seen these in comparison to skin tone, With the exception of amber.
  • At least they’re common enough that most may have an idea what you’re talking about at the mention of “pinecone.“ 
  • I suggest reading out your sentences aloud to get a better feel of how it’ll sounds.

“Auburn hair swept past pointed ears, set around a face like an acorn both in shape and shade.”

  1. I pictured some tree-dwelling being or person from a fantasy world in this example, which makes the comparison more appropriate.
  2. I don’t suggest using a comparison just “cuz you can” but actually being thoughtful about what you’re comparing your character to and how it applies to your character and/or setting.

Wood

Pictured above: Mahogany, Walnut, Chestnut, Golden Oak, Ash

  • Wood can be an iffy description for skin tone. Not only due to several of them having “foody” terminology within their names, but again, associations.
  • Some people would prefer not to compare/be compared to wood at all, so get opinions, try it aloud, and make sure it’s appropriate to the character if you do use it.

“The old warlock’s skin was a deep shade of mahogany, his stare serious and firm as it held mine.”

Metals

Pictured above: Platinum, Copper, Brass, Gold, Bronze

  • Copper skin, brass-colored skin, golden skin…
  • I’ve even heard variations of these used before by comparison to an object of the same properties/coloring, such as penny for copper.
  • These also work well with modifiers.

“The dress of fine white silks popped against the deep bronze of her skin.”

Gemstones - Minerals

Pictured above: Onyx, Obsidian, Sard, Topaz, Carnelian, Smoky Quartz, Rutile, Pyrite, Citrine, Gypsum

  • These are trickier to use. As with some complex colors, the writer will have to get us to understand what most of these look like.
  • If you use these, or any more rare description, consider if it actually “fits” the book or scene.
  • Even if you’re able to get us to picture what “rutile” looks like, why are you using this description as opposed to something else? Have that answer for yourself.

“His skin reminded her of the topaz ring her father wore at his finger, a gleaming stone of brown, mellow facades.” 

Physical Description

  1. Physical character description can be more than skin tone.
  2. Show us hair, eyes, noses, mouth, hands…body posture, body shape, skin texture… though not necessarily all of those nor at once.
  3. Describing features also helps indicate race, especially if your character has some traits common within the race they are, such as afro hair to a Black character.
  4. How comprehensive you decide to get is up to you. I wouldn’t overdo it and get specific to every mole and birthmark. Noting defining characteristics is good, though, like slightly spaced front teeth, curls that stay flopping in their face, hands freckled with sunspots…

General Tips

  • Indicate Race Early: I suggest indicators of race be made at the earliest convenience within the writing, with more hints threaded throughout here and there.
  • Get Creative On Your Own: Obviously, I couldn’t cover every proper color or comparison in which has been “approved” to use for your characters’ skin color, so it’s up to you to use discretion when seeking other ways and shades to describe skin tone.
  • Skin Color May Not Be Enough: Describing skin tone isn’t always enough to indicate someone’s ethnicity. As timeless cases with readers equating brown to “dark white” or something, more indicators of race may be needed.
  • Describe White characters and PoC Alike: You should describe the race and/or skin tone of your white characters just as you do your Characters of Color. If you don’t, you risk implying that White is the default human being and PoC are the “Other”).
  • PSA: Don’t use “Colored.” Based on some asks we’ve received using this word, I’d like to say that unless you or your character is a racist grandmama from the 1960s, do not call People of Color “colored” please. 
  • Not Sure Where to Start? You really can’t go wrong using basic colors for your skin descriptions. It’s actually what many people prefer and works best for most writing. Personally, I tend to describe my characters using a combo of basic colors + modifiers, with mentions of undertones at times. I do like to veer into more creative descriptions on occasion.
  • Want some alternatives to “skin” or “skin color”? Try: Appearance, blend, blush, cast, coloring, complexion, flush, glow, hue, overtone, palette, pigmentation, rinse, shade, sheen, spectrum, tinge, tint, tone, undertone, value, wash.

Skin Tone Resources

Writing & Description Guides

I tried to be as comprehensive as possible with this guide, but if you have a question regarding describing skin color that hasn’t been answered within part I or II of this guide, or have more questions after reading this post, feel free to ask!

~ Mod Colette

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- WRITEBLR REINTRO -

hello writeblr! my name is haeji (they/them or any pronouns tbh) and i am a bisexual 16 year old writer from california. i’ve been writing for about 9 years now, and my favorite genres are western and high fantasy, though i’ll write and read pretty much anything.

i love unhealthy dynamics, heavy worldbuilding, and bisexuals! which is all something my wips tend to include, along with dark (often adult) content like heavy violence and gore. sexual themes less so, but gritty wips are sort of a trademark of my work. 

my current projects

monstrous, wretched, and divine: a russian dark fantasy wip about a boy who comes back to life after being murdered, and in avenging himself, gets caught in his country’s political upheaval - and becomes someone you can barely call human in the process. contains lots of violence, death, torture, and unhealthy dynamics (+ lots of triggering content, proceed with caution). 
i have several other projects that would be too long to list here, but they’re all in my projects page, which you can find here - and believe me when i say i dont stick to one genre.

completed works 

dead men pay their debts - an american gothic western novella about an outlaw who dies but escapes hell back up to earth, and in hiding from the demons on his heels, discovers a grim plot in the sleepy little town he hides in. (keep your eyes peeled for a sequel!) 
corpse party - a short story about a young girl at a funeral. (tw: graphic violence, gore, cannibalism, disturbing content) 

tagging a few of my favorite writers so this doesnt flop: @whorizcn @emdrabbles @mahalii @semblanche @topsides @mshelleys 

Hello! For those who don’t know me, I’m reverie, she/her and I’m a smol desi girl. I haven’t been reading much but I do write a bit. Here are my wips below which will probably keep updating: 

THE LIGHT RUNNER 

fantasy / trilogy / ya cusp na / lgbt and poc characters / power struggle / revolution / protagonist struggling with morality / spies / a patriot fighting for a country that would never fight for him / a girl holding on to her happiness after she’s lost everything / a villain who fights for a cause that is actually sane 

HERETICS 

cyberpunk / potential series / lgbt and poc characters / contract killers and assassins / morally grey characters / found family / fighting for money and selfish reasons / trying to stop a war / bloodshed / vengeance 

WELCOME HOME…

thriller / standalone / lgbt and poc characters / morally grey protagonists / badass women / spies / dark and mad cities / capitalism sucks / lovers to enemies / revenge 

TALES OF THE TREACHEROUS

dark academia / potential series / seven deadly sins personified / rich and bored kids / heists / power hungry / murder / young v/s old money / extremely morally grey characters 

[ ASK TO BE TAGGED ] 

OTHER BLOGS / MEDIA

@victorclarke  __________ multifandom  @ccorpsidious __________ shitpost / aesthetic  @/reverieternal __________ twitter  @/accadamias __________ study gram  @/reverieternal __________ moodboard instagram 

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haha it’s an intro babey!!

B E S T  S E R V E D  C O L D

length: novel

genre: murder mystery/horror, historical

setting: new york city, 1924

audience: adult? idk there’s Gore and stuff

trigger warnings: violence, gore, death, drinking

point of view: first person

status: plotting

S Y N O P S I S

orville j. brant has never been a popular man. he’s been a rich man, an infamous man, but never a popular man. he’s eccentric, egotistical, naive, obnoxious, unhinged, ridiculous, immature, privileged, illogical, unbearable, dead? dead. bullet-through-his-head, gun-on-the-table, honest-to-God dead. dead in the middle of his dinner party, surrounded by locked doors, eight guests and face first in the first course, though most everyone else has lost their appetite. orville j. brant is dead. the question is, who killed him?

A U T H O R ’S  N O T E

okay so i don’t want to give anything away which is why this sounds like a whole lot of Nothing BUT i think this is cool?? uhhh lmk if you wanna go on the taglist (a dm or an ask would probably be the easiest way bc I Will Forget) and stay tuned for character profiles and Stuffs also hopefully i’ll get better at making headers?? once i master photopea it’s all over for you

T A G L I S T
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Winner gets to pick any book (or sequel) from the list above!

  • FOLLOW & REBLOG to enter
  • Reblog as many times as you like but try not to spam your followers
  • No giveaway blogs please
  • Open internationally
  • Ends December 5th, 2020

(If this post exceeds 3,000 notes, we’ll do 3 winners instead of 1)

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3 days left to get to 3k notes!

(I can’t believe it’s December already, holy hell)

Editing Your Prose

During the line editing and copy editing phases, the editing is focused on improving your prose. Here are 5 things to look out for (among many others):

1. Filter words

  • Filter words are words that filter the reader’s experience through that of the character. Words like “saw”, “heard”, “thought” etc.
  • These words should be removed where possible, because they break the reader’s immersion. They put an extra layer between the reader and what is happening in the story.
  • The reader already knows that whatever is being seen, heard, thought etc is being done so by the character. So, you can just describe whatever is happening without adding “she saw…” or “he heard”.

2. Overused words and phrases (also called crutch words)

  • Every writer has words or phrases they overuse. These should be cut because they once again break the reader’s immersion.
  • I recently had a beta reader tell me that I overuse “a muscle feathered in his jaw”. And it was scary how many times I had used that phrase in my manuscript.
  • So, use critique partners and beta readers to point out your crutch words. You can also use editing programs like ProWritingAid.
  • Remove around 80% of the usage of this word/phrase.

3. Dialogue tags

  • There are a few things to look out for when it comes to dialogue tags.
  • Make sure that you ONLY use tags where it is necessary - where it adds something to the words or is needed to avoid confusion.
  • Also, make sure that you do use dialogue tags where there is confusion as to who is speaking.
  • When using dialogue tags, use “said” unless a different tag will add something to the dialogue or change the meaning/tone of what is being said. “Said” should be used as much as possible because it becomes ‘invisible’ to the reader and doesn’t break their immersion.

4. “Very”

  • You should do a search in your manuscript document for the word “very” and remove 95% of it.
  • You can either just erase the word or use a stronger word in its stead.
  • The word “very” rarely adds anything and can slow down your story and make your your writing seem amateurish.
  • Of course, this doesn’t apply to dialogue, since people say the word “very” often.

5. Inconsistent punctuation or spelling

  • Are you consistent in your use of commas, dashes, capitalisation etc? Do you use British and American spellings interchangeably?
  • If you create your own world, make sure you keep the spelling of character and place names consistent.
  • You can check this manually, but you can also use ProWritingAid.

Reblog if you found these tips useful. Follow me for similar content.

So my writing teacher had a serious thing about “looking” language as description. And I could totally see her point. Especially when you read fic based on film or TV, there’s a lot of stage direction that crops up and a LOT of “he looked at her” “she looked at him” “their gazes met” etc as description.

The thing was, she wasn’t saying not to use “looking” descriptions at all. She was talking about a problem she saw as a professional editor where sometimes there’d be a looking stage direction description every other sentence. It meant that sometimes when a significant “Look” actually happened, it was lost in the flood of less important gestures. Basically, she saw them like adverbs, not wholly bad, but overused as a crutch. 

She was also making the point that TV and film is actually quite rich in some ways with things like micro-expressions and gestures–two actors with chemistry staring into each other’s eyes can carry volumes of significance–but also quite limited. With visual art rather than prose, you can’t capture a lot of internal and three-dimensional description that prose can. Sure I can describe people’s eyes meeting again and again, but as a prose writer I have the power to describe all of the internal feelings and echoes of interactions as well, and those are often richer than the pure doll-like posing of characters who do this, say that, do this, say that etc. 

Since working with my teacher, I’ve tried to excise looking language in my own work to the bare and powerful minimum, but I’ve also tried to figure out why it’s so prevalent, and I think I happened on a conclusion. The thing is, looking language is things the author can consciously see with others or act out themselves. So you see in prose a lot of conscious actions. He stepped forward. She nodded. They gestured. 

But prose also has the power to reveal unconscious gestures. Thoughts. Things that people don’t normally notice but are true, and powerful to describe as a writer. So I suppose the take-away from this little aside would be, when writing your description, don’t just think about the stuff people do consciously, think about the things they do unconsciously, internally, and three-dimensionally in a way that film and art can’t do but prose can.

Ten Ways to Cut Your Word Count

1. Change Passive Voice to Active Voice

Passive: The ball was hosted by the king and queen. (9 words) Active: The King and Queen hosted the ball. (7 words)

2. Change Adverbs to Strong Verbs

Adverb: The driver drove quickly and caught up with the taxi. (10 words) Strong Verb: The driver accelerated and caught up with the taxi. (9 words)

Adverb: Susan drank the beer hesitantly. (5 words) Strong Verb: Susan sipped the beer. (4 words)

3. Cut Down on “ing” Verbs

With: I kept thinking I would win the lottery. (8 words) Without: I thought I would win the lottery. (7 words)

4. Eliminate Redundancy

Redundant: I tiptoed quietly down the hall. (6 words) Not Redundant: I tiptoed down the hall. (5 words)

Redundant: The woman yelled loudly at the customer. (7 words) Not Redundant: The woman yelled at the customer. (6 words)

5. Limit Unnecessary “Being” Verbs (was/were, is/are, be/been)

With: I was running errands all afternoon. (6 words) Without: I ran errands all afternoon. (5 words)

With: Terry was the first to arrive. (6 words) Without: Terry arrived first. (3 words)

6. Eliminate Unnecessary “Thats”

With: I was sure that it was Tuesday. (7 words) Without: I was sure it was Tuesday. (6 words)

With: Selena told me that her birthday is next week. (9 words) Without: Selena told me her birthday is next week. (8 words)

7. Eliminate Excessive Dialogue Tagging

Excessive:

“What time do you want to leave?” asked Harry.

“We can leave whenever you want,” said Sue.

Harry looked at Tom and asked, “Do you want to leave now?”

“Sure,” Tom said. “Sue, do you want to drive?”

“You bet,” answered Sue.

(42 words)

Improved:

“What time do you want to leave?” asked Harry.

“We can leave whenever you want,” said Sue.

“Harry looked at Tom and asked, “Do you want to leave now?”

“Sure. Sue, do you want to drive?”

“You bet!”

(38 words)

I was able to remove the “Tom said” and “answered Sue” because it was already obvious who was speaking. Harry looked at Tom and asked him a question, so we already knew the answer would be his. Then Tom asks Sue if she wants to drive, so we know the next answer will be hers.

8. Eliminate “Very” and “Really”

With: Sandra really appreciated Andrew’s help, but she was very tired and ready to call it a night after what turned out to be a really crappy day. (27 words)

Without: Sandra appreciated Andrew’s help, but she was tired and ready to call it a night after what turned out to be a crappy day. (24 words)

9. Use Contractions

Unless your characters don’t use contractions for some reason, go ahead and use them. :)

Without: It was getting late and I could not be bothered to make dinner. My roommate would not care if I ordered a pizza. (23 words)

With: It was getting late and I couldn’t be bothered to make dinner. My roommate wouldn’t care if I ordered a pizza. (21 words)

10. Eliminate Excessive Description

With: Angel looked out the window across the vast lonely lawn, covered now in a thick blanket of white snow. A cold and terrible wind blew furiously from the east, rattling the leaf barren trees until they shook as though in fear for their very lives. (45 words)

Without: Angel looked out the window across the vast lawn, covered now in a thick blanket of snow. A cold wind blew furiously from the east, rattling the leaf barren trees until they shook as though in terror. (37 words)

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peter and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

  • gets into a fight with wendy (par for the course @ this point but still)!
  • his kfc!!!! is fucking COLD before he gets to eat it 
  • lost boys accidentally set fire to curly’s garage (thankfully car-free) with a badly aimed firework
  • gets punched by [redacted] over [redacted]
  • curly gets arrested
  • forced to admit that maybe [redacted] was right about [redacted]

>:cccccc !!!!

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