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(- As Promised. Here you goo! Enjoy!)
I stood infront of Alex, in order to save him as Niccolai froze. On the spot. He didn't lower his gun but I saw him gulping. A hint that he is nervous. 
"Put your gun down." 
I says, my voice coming out more strong and steady that I intended to. But what surprises me is him actually doing what I told him to. 
He puts his gun down, and looks at me before approaching. I took my steps back with Alex, making Niccolai stops on his spot once again.
"Come here." 
He says, his voice raspy, and somewhat not well composed but still very demanding. I'm not habitual of him talking this way. And as much as I want to say no to him. I moves forward. Hesitantly approaching him with my slow steps.
He's unpredictable, I don't trust him of being gentle. He's always been harsh to me. He clenched his jaw before I felt his hand on my wrist as he pulls me to himself.
My front collided with his making me gasp from the familiar feeling that I thought I wasn't craving. He immediately snakes his arms around my waist and tighten his grip on me. 
I gulps, realising that how tight he was hugging me. Not enough to cut my air supply thankfully. 
I still hate him, but at this moment I can't help but to put my arms around his neck as well. He let's out a sigh of content, his face buried in the crook of my neck as his breathing touch my sensitive skin, sending tingles down to my core. 
It's been so long since I have hugged someone like this. I gulps, before trying to move away only for him to tighten his grip around me more. 
"Don't move..." 
He mutters out as I stood still, Alex and Martha was watching this scene unfold. 
"I... I missed you.." 
He whispers silently, as I looks at him, our eyes met, his grey eyes holding so many emotions at once that I didn't even know how to comprehend. I did missed him too... Really. But I refuse to say this back to him. Or to give him the satisfaction that I'm attached to him. 
He is still the killer of my father. It doesn't matter of how much my dad did not loved me or the fact that he wasn't even my real father. But I still loved him more than my life. 
"Come with me."
He says, for the very first time, his voice was soft, so soft, that it my heart flutter for some reason, and for a second, I even considered it. 
"I can't." 
I mutters out, and he froze. I can't go with him. With the things he had done to me, and to my dad, it's not easy for me to forgive him and go with him. No matter how much I want to. I do have some sort of self respect. 
"Why?" 
He asks, his voice still soft, carrying a hint of gentleness and rare hint of vulnerability, which he refuses to show to anyone. 
"You know all the reasons, Niccolai."
"I'll do better, I'll change." 
"It doesn't matter. You have did the damage. Once its done, you can't undo it." 
I says as gently as I can, before moving away from him. His grip loosened on me surprisingly. I looks over at him, his face, now carrying a hint of sadness with unreadable expression. I felt my heart clenching. 
I shouldn't have done this... But I can't forgive him. Not so easily with all the things he had done to me. 
I gulps, the tears came up, threatening to fall at anytime. Why am I crying? I didn't do anything cruel. He deserves it... Right? .... 
"Please leave."
I mutters out, the lump in my throat didn't let me continue ahead as I looks away. He moves away from me. I thought he would force me to come with him but he didn't. 
He turns away and did the most unexpected thing, he walks off. Not even saying anything. I felt my heart beating fastly as the tears starts to fall off. For no damn reason... 
I don't love him... I hope I'm not... 
~
It made my heart ache, seeing those tears in her eyes. They were because of me. Why did I thought that I can get her back with all the things I had did to her? 
I tortured her for years, killed her father, treated her roughly, starved her. I deserve all the hate she have towards me. I don't deserve her forgiveness or the slightest bit of care she has for me... Right?
At last I'm a monster, and monster's didn't deserve to get love and care. It's not my thing... 
I get inside my car, I wipe the small tear drop. I hate weaknesses but I can't help. 
I have lost something. Something precious, I can't function without her and now I have to live without her for my whole life. 
It's too much for me to handle. These fucking emotions are not easy to handle. 
And at that time, it made me realise that I have lost a part of me. I have lost it, with her. 
~