beefysalad

beefysalad Patron

i am probably watching a movie right now as you’re reading this

don’t take my reviews seriously i’m just having fun

Favorite films

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Pride & Prejudice
  • Arrival
  • Palm Springs

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All
  • Catch Me If You Can

    ★★★★★

  • The Mummy

    ★★

  • Interstellar

    ★★★★★

  • Ash

    ★★★

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  • Mickey 17

    Mickey 17

    ★★★★½

    -1/2 star for not having a challengers-esque threesome between nasha, mickey 17, and mickey 18… bong joon ho did this because the academy snubbed challengers so we, the audience, have to suffer immensely and simply use our imagination to visualize the 2 robert pattinsons kissing!!! 

    and oh man, when the mama creeper said “secret”, i started laughing so hard that i had several tears stream down my face!! i think i was the only one who found it hilarious!!!

    anyway, give robert pattinson two oscars right now idc!!

  • Nosferatu

    Nosferatu

    ★★★★½

    now for me personally, if i was ellen, i would challengers the fuck out of thomas and count orlok so i can have the best of both worlds!! 

    obviously, everyone was absolutely phenomenal in this but i really got to say that bill skarsgard is just truly unreal in this!! i never would’ve known it was him with that voice and appearance. i know bitches hate to see him walk in for a weird creature audition!!!

    (sidenote: this was my 900th film of the year!!🎉)

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  • Catch Me If You Can

    Catch Me If You Can

    ★★★★★

    god this movie is just so much fun to watch!! i remember watching this movie back to back for days after i first watched it because it was just that good!! and i tried so hard to find similar movies but nothing was even close to how great this movie is!!! steven spielberg is just undefeated!!

  • The Mummy

    The Mummy

    ★★

    sorry not sorry but this movie has absolutely none of the juice that the mummy (1999) has… like what even happened here???? i mean i liked that jake johnson was here but how was this movie made and why was tom cruise in it?!?!

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  • Interstellar

    Interstellar

    ★★★★★

    damn, this movie is so great i wish good dads were real!!

    no but seriously, sometimes i forget just how truly mind-blowingly amazing this movie is!! 

    and i’m so sorry to christopher nolan’s 3 sons but it’s so clear that he loves his daughter so much!! one of the ultimate girldads of all time (GOAT)!!!!!!

  • How to Train Your Dragon

    How to Train Your Dragon

    ★★★★★

    toothless is exactly what my tuxedo cat thinks she looks like and you know what… she’s right!!!!