Jordan

Jordan Patron

Favorite films

  • Revolutionary Girl Utena
  • Muriel's Wedding
  • Braindead
  • Female Prisoner Scorpion: #701

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  • Cabaret

    ★★★★

  • Sex and the City

    ★★★★

  • Mulan

    ★★★★½

  • Death Drop Gorgeous

    ★★★

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  • Chain

    Chain

    ★★★★

    "I have to change places sometimes. No address means no real job. No real job means no apartment means no address"

    Chain acts as a bleak and unfiltered outlook at American consumerism and our corpratized identities. With so many films acting as a form of escapism Chain instead shows the true reality of many Americans surrounding environment. America is a land of parking lots and advertisements. Shopping centers and 2-for-1 deals. Whatever beauty and people's that existed within the land…

  • Pulse

    Pulse

    ★★★★★

    Quest to Finish the Top 250 Horror: #10

    I like to consider myself a semi-super fan of horror. It's really the primary genre of movie I've watched since I first put on Sinister at my middle school sleepover and got so terrified I stayed up watching the black abyss in every open door all night. That sense of fear and discomfort is what got me hooked, but similar to any addiction that same high becomes almost unreachable the more you…

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  • Cabaret

    Cabaret

    ★★★★

    I love Liza Minnelli, I just get it I really get it. The original manic pixie dream girl come with me under the train tracks and we'll scream as the train passes. Your crazy Liza what are you doing. Let me tell you something about Liza Minnelli that this movie made me realize , she looks so much like my mom. If I squinted the resemblance was uncanny, so does that mean, by association, I look like Liza Minnelli, no,…

  • Sex and the City

    Sex and the City

    ★★★★

    My Sex and the City Movie hot take is that Charlotte shitting her pants was a necessary plot beat in order to giggle carrie out of her Big depression. Ya Charlotte shitting her pants is out of character, but something so impossible needed to happen or Carrie would have died of sadness in Mexico.

    So I finished the Sex and the City TV show and it really feels like a full circle moment. My mom watched the first half of…

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  • Spider-Man: No Way Home

    Spider-Man: No Way Home

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  • Faces of Death

    Faces of Death

    ★★

    Cramptober 2023; 21/31
    Censored: Watch 2 Video Nasties 2/2

    As a kid I was always obsessed with the idea of lost media, cursed media, or banned media basically due to the mystery that comes with the concept. Watching them almost felt like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing, something others were too afraid to do, so most of the enjoyment came from the thrill of actually watching it then like the content being presented. So when my dad…