Nowhere near as thematically or visually enthralling as 87's other dystopian cinema landmark ROBOCOP, but Arnie rattling off post-mortem one liners like housewives popping Valium saves this from total sauceless floppage.
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The Lair of the White Worm 1988
Kooky low budget Ken Russell branded blasphemous shenanigans absolutely jam packed with expository dialogue, music video tier special effects and a fresh faced Peter Capaldi battling snake-vampires with bagpipes. Would you believe Amanda Donohoe's sultry, daemonic performance steals the show amongst all that?
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Longlegs 2024
I've just about chewed my fingertips off. Talk about living up to the hype. LONGLEGS managed to fill me with such a pervasive mix of curiosity and dread that I became acutely aware of the horrors lurking in the most minute of nooks and crannies in the set design, in the dimensions seen and unseen, in the liminal spaces barely obscuring the beckoning abyss. I thought the days of feeling anything other than bemusement during a horror flick were over. Am I ever so glad to be wrong.
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The Monkey 2025
*Disclaimer: I have not read the Stephen King short story, nor do I plan to anytime soon*
FINAL DESTINATION on Xanax.
It's a good thing THE MONKEY isn't anyone's lover with its smattering of awkward humour and mild, unsatisfying climaxes. Coming off of LONGLEGS, which I loved, I must admit I was puzzled when "Directed by Osgood Perkins" flashed onscreen during the trailer. I thought there was no way his disquieting, perfectionistic ambience could fit the irony and humour a…
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