If you can't handle me at my Paul Blart,
then you don't deserve me at my Mall Cop!
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The Monkey 2025
I’m having trouble with this one.
There are some genuinely fun moments scattered throughout. I appreciate the dry humor in its editing and the Looney Tunes-esque performance by Theo James, always wiping bloody viscera from his glasses. And Rohan Campbell as Joey Ramone is particularly inspired.
Unfortunately, the emotional core of the story plays second fiddle to increasingly tired “LOL so random!” jokes and kills. If Osgood Perkins didn’t feel inclined to trip over himself at every turn with sophomoric…
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Heretic 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
A suspenseful first act that loses steam as the (rather obvious) theological gobbledygook increases until the story quite literally finds itself stuck in a basement.
And it missed a massive opportunity by not ending with Lana Del Rey’s “Get Free”.
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Scream VI 2023
Was Scream 6 good? Was it smart? Did anyone feel anything? Are we lying to ourselves? I don’t know. It was numbing, yet occasionally fun. It was numb fun. Keep making these?
Nothing landed, kills nor jokes. Well, a body landed. The weight of the death did not. In fact, a lot of it felt weightless. Pointless. Gutless. How ironic. Stab stab. Shrug. Stop making these.
The acting was atrocious! Perhaps in a clever way? Like the franchise knows that it’s one bad box office opening…Translated from by -
Saltburn 2023
Barry Keoghan ends this film the way I start most days.
This was fun, the highlights being Jacob Elordi’s performance and a nice soundtrack selection, but, erm.…what was the fucking point? The first act posits the story as an extravagant gift waiting to be unwrapped. By the finale, the pretty paper lays crumpled, revealing nothing but an empty box.
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