This was…fine? Not bad by any stretch, but I also struggle to imagine a scenario where I want to watch it again. Also that doofus he cast as Tony was really, really bad. Giving Somewhere to Rita Moreno was a great call, though. That was a highlight, along with the setup and staging for both Officer Krupke and America. Probably a competent male lead would have bumped this to four stars.
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Spellbound 2024
This could not have been more unmemorable. Not a single catchy song or great scene, just two hours of Aldi-brand Pixar. Skip it.
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Saving Private Ryan 1998
One, I hate Tom Hanks and his smarmy face. Two, the fetishization of WWII in American film is a goddamn embarrassment. Three, there’s a decent 45 minute film here showing the intensity of the D-Day landing. Then it drones on for three more interminable masturbatory hours with a story no one cares about full of paper-thin stereotype characters straight out of the “How to Write a War Movie Like a PRO!” book some boomer found in the bargain book bin down by the Wal-Mart.
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Mulholland Drive 2001
Fuck David Lynch—incoherent random nonsense isn’t clever artistic filmmaking, it’s masturbatory bullshit and I hate it.
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